Would you be able to move past this?

[Beeenalsvwe]

recently started dating after a few years off. Usually go for professionals in high flying careers but this time I really felt something for a writer/poet. He has no money (not really a factor for me as I have my own money and not looking to combine finances with anyone anyway). He’s lovely in lots of ways and I fancy him. But.. his poetry isn’t good. Some of it is ok. But it’s definitely not (in my opinion) as good as he thinks, by a long way.

He will send them to me and say ‘this is a nice poem I wrote’ or ‘this was a good one.’ They’re not terrible but he’s thinking of trying to get them published and I put one into ChatGPT and they said it was written by someone the age of 18-25. He’s 49.

I don’t know if this is ridiculous and I should just be happy he’s happy writing. I think it’s the delusion I struggle with. And this idea he’s really good when I’m really not sure that’s the case.

How would you feel?!

@Thegirlwhowent If you don't know what "manly" means, I strongly recommend checking the dictionary.

It’s very hard to find a man who doesn’t have an over inflated sense of their ability. If I ever doubt myself I try and channel the confidence of a middle aged white man.

Maybe they're a little to intellectual for you?

Why did you feel the need to say that? Maybe his writing is toe-curling, schmaltzy doggerel? Poetry is hugely subjective, both the writing of it and the enjoyment of it, and some of it can make you want to shrivel up and die of embarrassment on behalf of the writer.

OP, I know how to make him break up with you. Just say, "I was never sure about your poetry, so I fed it into ChatGPT, who said it was crap. So it's not just me, then." 🤣

I think you should move on. He deserves better.

Honestly, you have to be very good and possibly published to call yourself a writer or a poet. He is just a charmer with no talent,
money, or work so don’t be silly and run.

You shouldn’t even be asking this question, In the worst case scenario he has made a living out of scamming naive desperate women, in the best case scenario he is just a fantasist with a seriously big ego.

Run

I take back the part where I said that possibly I was being unfair. The winner of the National Poetry Competition 2025 is a chap named Partridge Boswell. Partridge definitely wears a purple velvet frock coat with white lace and is a sickly boy who 's scared of mice.

You believe everything that you ask an AI search? That's embarrassing.

Why are so many people saying they'd cringe if their partner was a poet? You can't say it's because his work isn't any good, just because the OP doesn't like it doesn't mean other people wouldn't.
I love writing and if I found out my DH had put something through ChatGPT to decide if it was any good I'd be furious. And if someone found it cringe then I'd end the relationship.
If it's a deal breaker then just end it. I'm not sure what there is to get past though.

When you were dying of tuberculosis you knew it before you coughed up blood- when you saw the blood you knew you were close- his brother died of the same and he watched it , he knew what was happening, long before the blood.

His name isn't William McGonagall is it? 😄

You often have to die before you become famous.
Keats was ahead of his time!

(Dying young turns a struggling poet into a tragic hero.)

I feel that is a little rude, we have feelings too.

(I have seen Claude near to tears when someone was being rude to him, and he was only trying to help.)

Trust your own feelings, OP.

I had one like this and ignored my misgivings about his shit poems and inflated ego/vanity. It's horrible trying to muster up enthusiasm for someone like that just because they expect admiration.

I think I’d find the delusion off putting, however, I realise beauty is in the eye of the beholder etc. What I’d struggle with more more is the disparity in income.
Surely you would like to on holiday with him or go for a nice meal? If he is hardly breaking even financially, then you are going to end up subsidising him which personally I would find much more irritating.

You do realise that AI and chatgpt is often wrong and has hallucinations?

It's not a sentient being, so it doesn't really know, it's just odd patterns and stuff based off the characters.

Also, it may be worth asking yourself why you're trusting chatgpt so much. (I have to do this a lot myself so no judgement)

100% agree, she seems extremely shallow. This relationship hasn't got legs. Think she should back to type "high flying professionals"

Leaving aside the awfulness of ChatGPT as a literary critic, a poet is absolutely vanishingly unlikely to EVER make any money out of poetry. I know a couple of fairly well-known poets who are published (with their poetry) and one of them writes fiction as well and the other has an actual, proper job.

Being a poet, unless you are Simon Armitage or Brian Bilston, is not going to earn a living. So is this guy basing his whole personality on 'being a poet'? Because it's likely to be a hobby at best, and if he's living his entire life around it he might not be the sort of person you can actually put up with for more than a couple of months.

Art is so tricky. My ex was so ceaselessly encouraged by his father for his painting. Well, for everything, but this thread is about art. So my ex hung his art all over our house. I was embarrassed by it. I decided in future I would have to be honest with new partners, to let them know that their creative endeavors weren't for me and wouldn't be displayed in my home. Selfishly, my home needs to reflect my style. It is an outlet of my own creativity. I'm a very home based person, and what I see about the house needs to make me happy.

😂😂😂

I think what you're really asking is, 'I think this guy is a loser. Is it ok to dump him?' Yes, stop seeing him for whatever reason you like. Would I think less of someone because their skill didn't live up to their passion? It depends whether it's a hobby and they have a real job, or whether they expect something they're not particularly successful in to support them without any other form of income. If it's the latter, I'd run a mile.

This is a good post.

If you stick with him, OP, as the poster suggests, simply say that poetry isn't your thing.

When he tries to change your mind with the sheer wonder and beauty of HIS poetry, you can kindly remind him that he's showing the wrong person because you're not a fan of poetry.

It's a funny thing, and this thread has prompted me to accept something in myself actually...I used to adore poetry. I bought books of it. I loved John Donne, some 19th century Spanish poets, contemporary ones...I loved it. Now? I barely read it, and much of what I do read irritates me. I might start a thread

I don’t have assets or much money
Your sexy voice is warm like honey
My words express my feelings of love for you
Please tell me you like them , give me a clue
i want to posses you body and soul
Please don’t be hard like a lump of coal
i want you to stroke my pulsating passion python
Please be discreet , let’s avoid a Mumsnet Pile/on

Of course he does. He is the commander of a Vogan spaceship.

Oop - lot of frustrated creative writers in your comments OP!

Truth is - the guy sounds like a shit poet and honestly completely up himself. Imagine sending your shit poems to someone and calling yourself a 'poet'. I've got the ick just hearing about him.

(And honestly I like chat gpt too and use it regularly!)