Altercation in carpark

[Icecreamsundaz]

I was in a supermarket carpark, I had put my baby in her carseat and had just loaded my groceries in the boot. A car parked in the parent and child space next to me and an older couple got out, early 70s I would guess, able bodied, no kids with them
I said "sorry do you realise thats s parent and child space" and I pointed to the markings.
Well his response was very rude in tone "I came here to do my shopping, not to dance around" ?? "It should be first come first served " and they stormed off. I was a bit taken aback, I said loudly but they were a bit away at this point so not sure if they heard me "god id hate to be so ignorant". I took a picture of their car. Not really sure what I was going to do with it, thinking I would think about it and perhaps report to management. I got into my car
The next he was at my window "you took a photo, its illeageal to take photos of other people's property, delete it." I ensured my doors were locked, he stood behind my car so I couldn't reverse out, she was at my windscreen taking photos of me. Eventually they moved and I got out.
Maybe I shouldn't have said anything but there were loads of other places they could have parked but the parent and child spaces are limited. Its very frustrating when I've all my kids and can't find a free parent and child space because people like this who dont need them take them and they don't give a shit

The likelihood is that a pair of over 70s needed the wider space for exactly the same reason.

They can't get a blue badge, they aren't disabled enough. They can't park over the lines, they are likely to get abused for it as other threads recently have shown.

They need the wide space just as much as someone with a child.

I haven't yet used these spaces but come the day that I can't find a space that will allow me to get out of my car without pain and risk, I would.

I'm amazed at these responses. I thought the overwhelming majority would admire you for speaking up (many of us are too conflict averse to do it).

Tempted to add there must be lots of folks on here who misuse P&C spaces!

Raging at someone is not on, but I feel it's a real shame that people encouraging others to follow the social contract of being a considerate human when out in public now gets you labelled as a Karen and somehow legitimizes abuse towards you.

We all remember the trope of the little granny telling teenage boys to behave and then actually listening. I remember a few years back telling some teens to pick up a glass bottle they'd rolled into the road. They did. These days I'd be worried they'd attack me and passers by would call me a Karen.

I see your point but in reality the only thing that you have accomplished is upsetting yourself. They'll go out of their way to do the same thing next time because they're convinced that they're right. Pick your battles.

Well presumably they would have said so and OP would have apologised and moved on. Ditto if they had mobility issues.

OP didn't start kicking off, she said "sorry do you realise thats a parent and child space" which I think is a perfectly polite way of pointing it out.

The OP spoke up, and told them that it was a P&C parking spot. That should have been the end of it. I don't think her further actions were anything to admire, personally.

You had a space, so no need to police other people.
Don't pick fights when you have a child with you. Especially if you have to drive.

How can you tell they're able bodied? You might think if you saw my daughter. Sometimes she is, other times she can't walk far and only gets halfway around a large supermarket before she's done in.
My mother has similar problems and can only walk so far. Good for you that you can tell whose able bodied.

Is it picking fights to politely point out the type of parking space?

Considering they were elderly I would have given them the benefit of doubt and assumed they were using these spaces as the disabled spaces were full. I don't think I would have said anything because of this.

The provision of disabled spaces is a legal requirement. P&C spaces are a courtesy.

They had no mobility issues very fit and agile!

This is unbelievably ignorant.

An OP mentioned the width of the spaces, and there is definitely a hospital near us, where the space is very tight, not only from side to side, but front to back.
It is a bit obvious really, as the Victorian built hospital was built at a time when people did not have cars.
I have not had reason to visit recently, but last time I took my D DIL there, it was really hard to a) park actually in the space, and b) then both of us, get in and out of the car, without opening the car door onto the adjacent cars..

But as I said above they could have said "actually we need to for mobility reasons" and I'm sure / hope OP would have been apologetic.

That would be a reasonable response.

It seems the man was the one to get defensive and rude first. At which stage I would have rolled my eyes and driven off but I guess OP chose another path!

Surely our morals, our sense of right and wrong, sense of fair play, aren't simply guided exclusively by the law?

why would you think that?

The OP didn't just "speak up", she started a full argument and wanted to have a fight when she started to take photos.

Why would anyone encourage this?
Isn't it exhausting to live constantly full of anger and trying to fight for no reason?

You can’t really play the victim here when you were the one who chose to challenge them, AND shouted after them once they’d walked away 😂💀

Why should they have to explain to OP? Its non of her business!
People just need to get on with their own life instead of being a pain in the ass, they don't owe the OP any kind of explanation.

But as I said above they could have said "actually we need to for mobility reasons" and I'm sure / hope OP would have been apologetic.

They don't need to justify themselves to a nosy randomer poking their nose in.

I'm not quite sure who the OP thinks she is.

Anyone who doesn't have young children isn't going to care about your dilemma @Icecreamsundaz And I agree with other posters that your behaviour was unreasonable and odd.

I remember complaining at work once about someone (without children) parking in the child and baby zones, and I got my arse handed to me on a plate. 'Entitled, lazy, obnoxious little madam,' and 'I used to walk 3 miles to the shops then 3 back again with 4 bags of shopping and 2 kids - one walking and one in a pushchair when I was a young mother,' and 'I used to walk 5 miles in the snow to work, and never even had a bloody car. Get over yourself Little Miss Entitled..

This was 25-30 years ago.

Also, child and baby zones are not legally binding.

This thread does feel a bit like a bashing of senior citizens to me. Funny how people using child and baby zones are never in their 20s, 30s, or 40s on these threads... 🤔

In real life I see middle aged and younger people (with no children) using them quite often. More than people over 60!

Well of course they don't HAVE to but given the space clearly has an intended end user that is not them, what's the harm in being reasonable? Surely better to justify then to snap at OP, no? Since when did two wrongs make a right?

Don't know why I'm bothering, people think they should just do what the hell they want and damn everyone else. Especially parents trying to get car seats out.

Why on earth should anyone have to start explaining their medical issues to a busybody in a supermarket car park?

A compromise could be for people to buy these stickers from Amazon to stick on the windshield of people’s cars and appease their inner vigilante…

I used these spaces for my mum when she had an operation on her keg and needed to be close to the entrance and have the door opened wide. She wouldn't qualify for a blue badge but couldn't go to the shop without space and proximity.

I find people's obsession with policing other people's choices weird. Op had a space so it did not impact her at all. I bet op has made some morally dubious or controversial calls in her time too (as we all have).

It reminds me a bit of when I was stood outside the fenced off play area within a much larger green space, waiting for my dc to finish on the equipment before qe walked the dog. While I was (as always) gassing to a friend the dog (on lead) got through and sat the other side of the gate without me properly clocking it. A woman got out of her car parked at the boundary (presumably she was also waiting for kids playing) to have a go at me. I immediately yanked said dog back and apologised. The woman huffed off back into her car that she had parked on double yellows to get closer and better supervise her kids from the car....

Let he who is without sin....

Why do you need an easy access space more than a couple in their 70s? Get over yourself.