Altercation in carpark

[Icecreamsundaz]

I was in a supermarket carpark, I had put my baby in her carseat and had just loaded my groceries in the boot. A car parked in the parent and child space next to me and an older couple got out, early 70s I would guess, able bodied, no kids with them
I said "sorry do you realise thats s parent and child space" and I pointed to the markings.
Well his response was very rude in tone "I came here to do my shopping, not to dance around" ?? "It should be first come first served " and they stormed off. I was a bit taken aback, I said loudly but they were a bit away at this point so not sure if they heard me "god id hate to be so ignorant". I took a picture of their car. Not really sure what I was going to do with it, thinking I would think about it and perhaps report to management. I got into my car
The next he was at my window "you took a photo, its illeageal to take photos of other people's property, delete it." I ensured my doors were locked, he stood behind my car so I couldn't reverse out, she was at my windscreen taking photos of me. Eventually they moved and I got out.
Maybe I shouldn't have said anything but there were loads of other places they could have parked but the parent and child spaces are limited. Its very frustrating when I've all my kids and can't find a free parent and child space because people like this who dont need them take them and they don't give a shit

Unfortunately revolting pig people behave like the revolting pig people they are when confronted over their revolting pig people behaviour. Good on you for standing up to them though.

U OK hun? 🐷

You're a jobsworth. I wouldn't have battered an eyelid.

I was responding only to the point you made about women not leaving the house if they dont shop

Good for you. People do shit like this because they think they can get away with it. Same with littering in the street, plying music out loud on the or cycling on the pavement. Antisocial things which seem small but when so many people do them so often it erodes the social bonds and expectations which make shared spaces bearable. More of us should do what you did.

I’d be really careful OP, trying to school the ignorant. Everyone can see allocated spaces and some deliberately choose to park on the wrong spot. You can’t change the world on this but your child is your world and you can make sure they are safe and sound.

I once parked with my small child in an allocated spot and then two guys with a loud revving car parked right next to me in another child allocated spot and they only had front seats too so no child. They both jumped out and walked with a lot of ability and movement into the shop. It’s clear they didn’t need the spot. What was I going to do, put my kid and myself in danger to tell these guys off?

Most people do the right thing but for those that don’t, you just got to ignore them. You have a long road with your kid and parking spots.

My favourite day was when I could ditch the stroller and equipment all together and my kid can now walk hand in hand with me from a spot a bit far from the entrance and not likely to have people park nearby.

Children can’t get themselves out of their car seats or open their car doors. An adult needs to open the door and stand in that doorway to lean over and unclip the seat, then help the child out of the car and close the door after them. I certainly couldn’t have done that in the multi-storey car park I used this morning. That’s why the spaces are a bit wider.

It's obvious why there are so many odious replies on this thread op:
Because most people on Mumsnet are aged 53+... and therefore consider negative comments about older people personally insulting.

Are you comparing a 54 year old to a 74 year old? People stick up for young ones on this site constantly

You can’t moan about people being rude back to you when you confront them in the first place. If you think it’s so bad they’ve parked there without care, they obviously are not the kind of person you would like to be dealing with, not confronting expecting a reasonable outcome. Did you want them to get back in their car and move?
totally unnecessary - roll your eyes and moan to friends about it like everyone else, I’d never risk anything with my baby with me. As you say they were very fit, they could have harmed you over something that isn’t even illegal.

Since when did I compare a 54 yo to a 74 yo?

I'm just saying that the majority of Mumsnet posters are over the age of 53. (it's certainly not a high percentage of young mums).

And whilst older people will support / 'stick up for young ones', they don't like to hear of older people being in the wrong.

Laughs the person who’s been commenting on this thread for 4 hours. lol

You chose to police the car park despite you already having a space. They are in their 70s perhaps they needed that space. Go about your business and let people go about theirs

I stopped saying anything to anyone about this when the first few times I pointed it out (assuming it was by accident) I was basically either ignored or verbally abused, and supermarket managers have said they won’t do anything either (yes I have been that angry lady trying to battle a newborn out of a too small space who has tracked down the manager). It makes me
more angry than it should but it’s only me
it bothers, not them, so I don’t want to waste anymore of my energy on it. I did feel especially cross recently though when two ladies were having their picnic lunch in the parent and child space with no others available!

I’m 43, it doesn’t make me empathise more or support someone in their 60s,

I wouldn’t have said anything.
Wasting your time.

It’s either someone who genuinely needs to use it or some selfish idiot, who lets be honest, won’t give a fuck and probably does it all the time.

Agree with the poster above.
I think a lot of these replies are because OP has mentioned they were ‘an older couple’.

Yeah, it’s an ignorant hypothesis. Jerks come in all ages and most of us recognize that.

OFFS. How do you think parents of young children have managed to park and shop for generations before these silly car parks were created.
How do you know they were able-bodied? Not all disabilities are visible. Even if not disabled, being 70 trumps the entitlement of a person of child-bearing age. Someone up-thread mentions she uses those spaces and her child is 9.
I have a mobility permit, our equivalent of a Blue Badge. If I cannot find a mobility space I head straight for the parent & child section and I display my card. But if I were a 70 year old without a mobility card (which my doctor needs to approve every few years), I'd park in one if I merely had aches and pains that often accompany aging.
Such entitlement. You were incredibly rude.

She is apparently encouraged to post "her version of events". That includes them being aggressive which she'd have to prove.
She'd also have to prove that they parked without children in the car etc.

She can state these things but I could state that I saw you peeing in the road. Without evidence neither is provably true.

The onus is on OP to prove all allegations, not the couple. All they have to say is we were collecting our grandchildren, for instance.

Have you ever seen the lost of possible defences to "your goat ate my cabbages" (and why each element has to be proved)

• there was no goat
• the goat was not my goat
• there were no cabbages
• they were not your cabbages
• the cabbages were not eaten
• the cabbages were not eaten by a goat
• etc

Not to mention that even if she does post on local SM she might get the same blowback she's getting on here, but then actually be identifiable.

It was a knee jerk reaction. I get that but for your own peace of mind it's not worth it. Think about it, if they are selfish enough to park there in the first place they aren't starting off on a considerate reasonable footing are they. You could of preempted their reaction by the fact that they parked there in the first place. If you go around being a vigilante you could get hurt by some nutter. For your own peace of mind. Stay out of it as much as it hurts your sense of justice.

But you were rude enough to make your own judgement that they had no hidden disabilities and is if that isn’t bad enough, throw it at them verbally in front of your children who pick up on your behaviour?

I think people see an old person and think they’re harmless. Everyone ages. That old man could have got a bat out of the back of his car and started smashing your car up. If you want to start a fight in a car park that’s your choice but don’t do it with a baby.