Altercation in carpark

[Icecreamsundaz]

I was in a supermarket carpark, I had put my baby in her carseat and had just loaded my groceries in the boot. A car parked in the parent and child space next to me and an older couple got out, early 70s I would guess, able bodied, no kids with them
I said "sorry do you realise thats s parent and child space" and I pointed to the markings.
Well his response was very rude in tone "I came here to do my shopping, not to dance around" ?? "It should be first come first served " and they stormed off. I was a bit taken aback, I said loudly but they were a bit away at this point so not sure if they heard me "god id hate to be so ignorant". I took a picture of their car. Not really sure what I was going to do with it, thinking I would think about it and perhaps report to management. I got into my car
The next he was at my window "you took a photo, its illeageal to take photos of other people's property, delete it." I ensured my doors were locked, he stood behind my car so I couldn't reverse out, she was at my windscreen taking photos of me. Eventually they moved and I got out.
Maybe I shouldn't have said anything but there were loads of other places they could have parked but the parent and child spaces are limited. Its very frustrating when I've all my kids and can't find a free parent and child space because people like this who dont need them take them and they don't give a shit

People with disabilities do not always 'appear frail' or 'appear disabled'. Judging in two seconds whether a total stranger needs an accessible space is unfair.

There’s a mean girl vibe to it.

Agree. She has only be disabled the last 5-6 years but it has been a real eye opener how ignorant people are.

She is still a young woman, a bit ballsy, and will stand up for herself when challenged, and the lift of the top is her trump card to shut them down when she get really riled. Then she insists on speaking to manager and having a go at them for poor staff training as she has worked in customer service for a long time.

But the real impact on her comes after the adrenalin of the confrontation has died down and yes it does impact her self esteem for the rest of the day, each time it happens a little more than before. It is so sad to see.

No it isn’t, it’s me saying they have designated spaces for a reason, as do parents. Or surely if there was no need they would not exist.

The thing that always baffles me about MN is how people have the time and energy to care about such futile things. I’d have just wanted to get my shopping loaded and get out of there

Yes. And also the EQ 2010 which gives disabled people the right to a reasonable adjustment, which using a parent and child space hasn’t been tested in court, but given the relative resources of supermarkets, is likely to be deemed appropriate (and was when I asked if I could)

Arguably OP was the arsehole here. This was an elderly couple who may have had disabilities which didn’t qualify them for a blue badge, so the P&C space afforded them a bit more ease getting in and out of the car. But OP was so focused on being the self appointed gatekeeper of the space she lost sight of someone else’s’ need even though her own was taken care of - she already had a space. I actually don’t think that’s anything to be proud of.

Then they would have parked in a disabled bay?

BB spaces have a basis in law, which P&C spaces do not.

Have I missed something , but where does it say about others with accessibility issues can park in parent and child parking spaces?

Not if they don’t have a BB.

Not if they didn’t have a badge. Read the thread.

I was replying to the implication that it's not possible to decide who has a mobility or other problem by watching them for a couple of minutes.

As I have explained, those with disabilities who do not have a BB are entitled to a reasonable adjustment.

That was what I was asking if it was a legal difference . so basically as it’s not illégal people do what they wish..

I understand, and it is sad that the person she is talking to won't listen, and it has to come to her, showing her private affairs. Hopefully she will not have to put up with meddlesome members of the public, in future, as invisible disabilities become more talked about, and known.

But how do you define that? It could apply to soooo many different situations

It is illegal however for them to harass me by preventing me leaving the carpark

Fuxache they are old and probably not registered disabled so no blue badge, but likely much less mobile than you.

Get a grip.

I guess this is where you give me a mumsnet diagnosis of nurodivergence 🤔

It could but the definition of disability is in the EQ 2010.

Except there were times when I had to leave the supermarket because I couldn’t find anywhere to park and safely take my toddler and baby out of the car. And I don’t believe that every single person who parked in a p&c space and then leisurely walked into the building without a child in tow had a hidden disability, but just missed out on getting a blue badge.

So I can totally understand the OPs frustration.

YABU because you didn't stay in control of your anger.

You decided to confront them - maybe that's fair enough, maybe not. But when they got cranky back, you decided to whip out your smartphone and take a photograph of their car. You couldn't even wait for them to get into the shop!

You clearly had no plan for what to do next, either with the photograph or with them when they stormed back, irate. What on earth were you hoping to achieve? And to do this with a baby in the car ... why?

P&c spaces are courtesy. Not mandatory law.

an elderly couple wanted to park close to the store. So what.

you kicked a hornets nest and got stung. Lesson learnt.

I always park a long way from the entrance as I am a terrible parker so I need at least two spaces together to be able to manoeuvre into a space. There are always free spaces there so parents with children could park there if they genuinely needed more space but in reality they just want to be near the entrance to the store.