Cleaner having her children whilst cleaning

[MissMatchy]

Just after some other perspectives. We have a regular cleaner, for about 8 months. She's pretty good tbf although sometimes doesn't fully do the 3 hours we pay her for. No biggie. She came round this week, and whilst she was here our ring doorbell camera notification went off a few times so I logged on to see why. It turns out someone dropped her young child off (presumably after school?) and she let them in, then they were picked up about an hour later.
She didn't check this was ok with us, nor did she mention it had happened. I'm pretty pissed off about it tbh. Surely common respect should be used here? What was the child doing whilst she was cleaning?

Genuine question - why is my nationality relevant to any of this? You’ve specifically brought it up, so what exactly are you implying? Is there a racial or national stereotype behind your comment? Because otherwise I’m struggling to understand why you felt the need to mention it.

Oh sorry no! I was joking because your thread title made it sound like she gave birth while doing your cleaning, but when I read the rest of your post I realised that you may have English as a second language. I don't care where anyone's from!

I would contact her, tell her you are aware her children came round, you're disappointed she did not clear it with you first, and ask for evidence her public liability insurance covered her children's welfare and actions while they were on the permises. If she can show you that they were covered I'd ask her to be sure to clear any future visits with you in advance. If she can't I would tell her it's not to happen again. And I'd leave it at that.

She may have been in a hard spot, but she shouldn't have increased your risks without talking to you about it. She could have asked you and, if true, told you she wasn't able to clean if her DC couldn't come in.

All these posters saying "have some empathy". "She's in a hard place". seem to think that all cleaners are in desperate situations, but all the cleaners I know are doing fine. They make more than friends on minimum wage and have a lot of flexibility.

I’ve always let my cleaners bring their children if they needed to - never had any problems. It honestly wouldn’t (and hasn’t) ever bothered me. TBH it probably benefitted me as they then stayed with me longer and worked harder because they weren’t stressed out about childcare. After school club is not cheap!

Or maybe she didn't ask the OP because she got the vibe that the OP would be difficult about it and say no - I mean she wouldn't have been far wrong judging by this thread...

What a lot of depressing comments on here from people making out that cleaners are living the life on their huge hourly rate - if they work for an agency they won't be getting as much as the client pays of course - to other people moaning about a cleaner letting her kid hang out at a client's house for one hour.

OP, get over yourself and stop acting like lady muck complaining about your "staff".

Maybe do your own cleaning ?

I think it’s the not mentioning it that is the problem.

That’s quite an impressive amount of projection from a very simple point.
She doesn’t work for an agency, I’ve never referred to her as my “staff”, and I’ve said repeatedly that I would have said yes had she asked. So the imaginary scenario where she was too frightened of “Lady Muck” to ask me doesn’t really hold up.
What I find more depressing is the assumption that employing a cleaner somehow makes someone entitled or superior, while simultaneously portraying cleaners as poor, downtrodden people who apparently can’t be expected to observe the same basic courtesies as anyone else.
She provides a service, I pay her for it, and we have always had a perfectly friendly relationship. Expecting someone to ask before bringing another person into my home isn’t looking down on them. It’s a completely ordinary boundary.
And “do your own cleaning” is about as relevant as telling someone who has an issue with their plumber to do their own plumbing.

I wouldn’t mind this happening every now and then but I’d want to be asked just so I know who is in my home.

My previous cleaner sometimes had her son with her in the school holidays and he’d generally just sit and watch tv, or do some thing very quiet and still like reading, colouring etc

I do use a cleaning company again now since the above cleaner left because I quite like the “business” footing of the whole arrangement, but that’s probably just me being antisocial!

Here we are again patronsing cleaners snd assuming they must be in abject poverty and on the bones of their arse .

No of course not, they're earning the big bucks. £20 an hour!

What's your hourly rate at work?

Not the same as hiring a plumber which is a specialist job, I think anyone can clean their own toilet without any training...

You repeatedly say you would be ok with her bringing her child to the house if she had asked yet still felt the need to make a MN thread about it to have a moan.

But it's a bit of a non issue isn't it? Unless the child had broken something, caused some kind of issue in your house then I don't see why you have such a problem with it. She still did the job you were paying for

Just speak to her - & give her the heads up that you are checking on her via the Ring door bell. I'm sure she will be delighted.

I expect she didn't mention it because she thought the fact that her own small child (so not a drug-addled young offender or Charles Manson or anyone like that), sitting on your sofa for an hour watching a pad wasn't worth mentioning. But it's clear you're determined to read something into it so it doesn't really matter what anybody here thinks. Life must be exhausting for people who get worked up over this sort of thing.

There was a thread on here a while back with a cleaner charging £35 an hour and still people were saying it wasn’t great! So I think no matter what cleaners are being paid people will say they are in poverty some how.

Also there was a thread about a woman going to a job interview at a dental surgery and there was a child sitting next to the receptionist when she arrived. Everyone said how unprofessional it was. No one tried to explain that away with a sudden unexpected childcare issue!!

I'm not on the bones of my arse and I'm a nurse...my hourly rate is actually less than £20 an hour.

I'd find it patronising if people were talking about how poor I was and how I needed others to help me catch a break in life like they do when talking about professional cleaners....we do fine and I'm actually the higher earner out of me and dh.

YABVU

It was one of many frustrations that led me to no longer having a cleaner

mine had started leaving early on a regular basis, and I wouldn’t have minded if she’d asked if it was ok to bring her son, or cancelled coming if she couldn’t clean but it was when I came home and found him playing with all my kids toys laid out and she told me he was off school due to sickness bug.

i was really annoyed then as i had to wipe down all the toys (mine were a 3 and under 1) so put things in mouths) and she’d let her school age sick child touch everything.

I decided to do the claiming myself again after that

I’d say to her “oh I saw xxx on my ring doorbell being dropped off” is everything ok? And see what she has to say…

For me, I’d have wanted to know I wouldn’t have overly minded for an hour but it’s a courtesy thing isn’t?

But then on the other side of the coin what if something has been damaged? Or he’d hurt himself????

As a side note, if she worked in Tesco the child wouldn’t have been allowed to be dropped off and I can’t take my kids to work in a hospital so all this empathy of a raisin rubbish……… we all have emergencies and we all have to deal with them.

Tbf, I think people were mainly talking about how hard it is to be a working parent and juggling childcare than the cleaner being poorly paid.

There are some here claiming cleaners are desperately poor and others claiming they are earning loads & having umpteen foreign holidays a year.
The truth is obviously somewhere between these two extremes.

But juggling unexpected childcare issues with work, particularly when you are self employed, can be a difficult issue whatever your hourly rate.

Always makes me laugh the people who probably don't have cleaners being really cool with them bringing kids or whatever into the house without asking. Same people who come up with extravagant "well what I'd say/do is..." scenarios which they would never do in a million years.

My cleaner has been with us for over 15 years and when her child was small she would bring him in school holidays. I have a boy a year older and they would play together. But the key difference is she ASKED first.

poor woman. Give her a break

Why is a poor women who needs a break?

Wether its a plumber,elecian or cleaner is irelevant yes im sure the Op can clean her own toilet but shes hired a cleaber to do tjat for her just like she might hire an electtician to rewire the house .

This thread is so obtuse!
People saying the cleaner is deserving of no sympathy ("just because she's a cleaner doesn't mean she's poor/is struggling with childcare etc etc") because they think to say anything sympathetic is somehow patronising.

Others sticking up for the cleaner because they think the OP is making a fuss about nothing & being quite OTT when nothing bad actually happened to her house & the cleaner just did her job as per usual.

In the end, it's just the OP's decision. If she is bothered she needs to speak to the cleaner about it & if not let it go.

I imagine the OP is probably here posting about it because she knows it will be an awkward conversation ("I saw on my Ring camera..") and wants to feel she is 100% in the right before she attempts it.

And the cleaner did the job, didn't she?

As a one off I wouldn’t care, perhaps very last minute. If it repeats I would be concerned particularly if the child is young