Cleaner having her children whilst cleaning

[MissMatchy]

Just after some other perspectives. We have a regular cleaner, for about 8 months. She's pretty good tbf although sometimes doesn't fully do the 3 hours we pay her for. No biggie. She came round this week, and whilst she was here our ring doorbell camera notification went off a few times so I logged on to see why. It turns out someone dropped her young child off (presumably after school?) and she let them in, then they were picked up about an hour later.
She didn't check this was ok with us, nor did she mention it had happened. I'm pretty pissed off about it tbh. Surely common respect should be used here? What was the child doing whilst she was cleaning?

how did the child magically turn up on the doorstep of a house that they didn’t live in then?!!!😂😂

Do you have any children, OP? It certainly doesn’t sound like it.

Maybe it was unexpected and her usual childcare had let her down.

My sympathy for this cleaner is based on the fact she has to deal with the unreasonable OP.

Maybe the school called the child’s mum and the cleaner didn’t want the child left at her home alone. The child was there for ONE hour, for ONE day. Jeez.

Thank you.

It would have been polite for her to mention it but it’s really not a big deal. My cleaner once brought her dad who had dementia. His wife was in hospital and he couldn’t be left on his own. He sat at the kitchen table - no big deal at all.

She’s being extremely presumptuous and out of courtesy alone should have asked you.

I don't mind on the odd occasion that my cleaners bring their children. If I'd known beforehand, I'd have bought them some drinks/snacks and left out the toys and books that I have for when my nephew visits.

As it is, the children tend to entertain themselves by playing with my dogs. Fortunately, they are both very used to children!

Yes but all op is saying is it would have been good to have had a text, whats app, email or phone call after the cleaner took the call saying " childcare has fallen through, is it ok if child is dropped off for an hour? Ill just sit her on settee with tv whilst I finish off" Thats not a big ask

Well it might of been some people with Dementia can be very unpredictable ...

Sp what if she doesnt ?
Shes not responsible for her cleaners child care issues.

Probably, she didn’t think it was the big deal OP does. I guess she’ll be told different.

Swings and roundabouts thatd what you get for being self employed

Don't understand why people can be so precious about their houses. And yet there is a woman there cleaning up your dirt and mess. Unless you have precious antiques or leave wads of cash around , what's the big deal.

The cleaner isnt cleaning it out of the goodness of her heart 🙄

She should've asked.

I wouldn't want someone else's child in my house, especially largely unsupervised.

Just speak to her, not that hard is it? Depending on what she says, make a decision. For example, her childcare fell through last minute and she was worried about mentioning it to you, this wouldn’t bother me. If she thought it was completely acceptable and is shocked you broached it with her, this would be a problem (for me anyways). It’s hard, being a parent and trying to earn money, just speak to her and see how you feel.

So you would assume the cleaner couldnt posdibly afford drinks and snacks and toys for her child because shes a cleaner ?
How patronising .

As a one off it wouldn't bother me, we've all had it happen as a parent (random school closure with 0 notice, club cancellation with short notice ect). I would mention you noticed it and would appreciate been told it is happening. I would have an issue if it became a weekly arrangement.

I did actually have to let a cleaner go due to her repeatedly bringing her children on her cleans. Teenage boy who had been permanently excluded from school. Our cleaner was bringing him with her because he was sneaking out the house/ gaming at home whilst she was at work and repeatedly stealing from her. Teenage son came into our house, sat on our sofa and helped himself to logging into our internet (we only know because his mum told him off for burning through data one day whilst DH was there which he then replied he wasn't as he was logged into our wifi), then proceeded to game on his phone whilst swearing and shouting abuse to other gamers. Unfortunately his behavior meant we had to end his mum's employment.

That’s not acceptable. She should have mentioned it, at least. As a one-off, I’d be OK with that, if she’d said. But even before that, you said she doesn’t do the full three hours you pay her for. So for that alone, I’d be annoyed. I’d look for someone else.

could you be more patronising?

How the fuck do you know whether she has an 'easy life' or not?

Maid is a DRAMA. It's set in the US. Things are very different there.

Lots of cleaners in the UK are making very decent livelihoods from it, earning more than double minimum wage (or more!), choosing their own hours and customers. The ones I know, including one close friend and another family member, do it because they really love cleaning and get a huge amount of satisfaction from it, much more than I do from my corporate job. Good cleaners are in demand and can pick and choose their clients, and take holidays/start and finish when they want (within reason) - again definitely not something I have the luxury of doing.

My friend also loves the fact that because she's moving 4-5hrs a day she doesn't need to go to the gym after, and gets to listen to loads of podcasts etc. She'd laugh in your face being told she has a hard life, she flipping loves her job.

Was it planned or did some child care fall through? It makes a difference. If she either had to leave and not complete the cleaning or have her child sit on your settee for an hour I would let it go. If it became a regular thing then it needs a discussion.

I’d turn a blind eye but if it started to cause me issues I’d ‘discover’ it and ask them not to bring their child. Since it’s been 8months, this could have just been a childcare one off emergency. If it didn’t cause any problems I’d just let it go even if it was a regular thing. Just because life is hard enough without people making it hard when they can be kind.

Just to clarify, because some people seem to have invented an entire backstory for both me and my cleaner 😂

I have absolutely no issue with her having childcare difficulties, nor would I necessarily have said no to her child being here. My issue is simply that another person was brought into my home for an hour without my knowledge or permission. A quick text saying “Childcare has fallen through, is it OK if X is here while I finish?” would have been absolutely fine.

I’m also slightly bemused by the assumptions that because someone is a cleaner they must be struggling financially and therefore normal boundaries somehow don’t apply. That seems rather more patronising towards cleaners than anything I’ve said.

And yes, I do have children. Quite how that’s relevant to expecting someone to ask before bringing somebody into my home, I’m not entirely sure!

Trust is actually part of why this bothers me. She brought someone into my home for an hour without asking me, and then chose not to mention it afterwards. Had the Ring notification not gone off, I’d never have known.
So yes, that does make me question the trust slightly. Not because I think she’s doing anything sinister, but because it inevitably makes me wonder what else she might consider OK to do without mentioning it. A two-second text asking me would have avoided the whole issue.