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AIBU?

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AIBU to reconsider a long friendship over support for education tax?

1000 replies

CoconutRumcake · 03/10/2026 10:46

A close friend of over 15 years last night unashamedly said she supported the children’s education tax. To put this in context, she is godmother to my ds and has seen first hand what damage this has done to children and families as well as her own sister losing her job when the school closed. She had maybe drank too much and has apologised over text this morning, but I really can’t shake the feeling that I don’t want to be around her.
AIBU -try and move past it
YANBU -it’s run it’s time

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
JassyRadlett · 03/10/2026 20:06

Livelovebehappy · 03/10/2026 20:03

The point I’m making is that for example your family and my family might earn the same money. But have different priorities on how we spend our income. I might shop at Aldi. You shop at Waitrose. You might have two expensive leased cars on your drive. I might have a banger. You have two holidays abroad a year. I just have a weekend in Blackpool. You might live in a three bed detached in a nice area. I might live in a tiny two bedroom flat somewhere. My spare money goes on private education because that’s my priority (all hypothetical of course as my DCs are grown now). So it’s not always about the privilege of money.

And your households are both making way above the average, which is the missing fact here.

Interestingnamesuggestion · 03/10/2026 20:06

Halepeeny · 03/10/2026 19:52

Are you joking? It absolutely is the top X% of earners who can even think about sending their children to private school. The idea that living in a smaller house, go without luxuries or holidays is a tough sacrifice some people have to make to be able to send their children to private school is utterly tone deaf! The rest of us literally live like that year after year! There's no downsizing or cutting down on luxuries and holidays. There's covering the essential bills and praying nothing breaks. Week after week and year after year.

Forgive me if my heart doesn't bleed for those suffering with cutbacks to afford private school.

I used the link somebody posted and my household has a higher income than around 26% of the population.
So I'm afraid you're wrong.
Your heart doesn't have to bleed for us but you could at least be polite.

CoconutRumcake · 03/10/2026 20:07

JassyRadlett · 03/10/2026 20:00

It is, in the main, about having a higher-than-average income. Families on the median income do not generally have the capacity to spend more than half of that income on one child's eduction.

That's not to say that many people don't make significant cutbacks and sacrifices to send their children to private schools - they do. But in the main, those people's starting point is much more comfortable than the majority.

Yeah it’s true, even before the tax it was tough. We’re big earners but definitely had a smaller house, ten year old car etc to pay for it. It’s also a constant source of worry that you’d have to pull them out of school in the event of redundancy. We did have quite a few bursaries at our school, one of dds friends dad was a taxi driver and wife worked at Waitrose but I’d imagine that option is gone now at most schools

OP posts:
TheFishFish · 03/10/2026 20:07

CoconutRumcake · 03/10/2026 19:53

I prefer education tax, it makes people understand what they support. I can fully understand why it makes people uncomfortable attempting to justify it and would prefer to call it something else.

I mean, I can call chocolate cake "not fattening" and that makes me feel better about shoving it down my face but it doesn't mean it's actually true to call it that.

ThreadGuardDog · 03/10/2026 20:07

CoconutRumcake · 03/10/2026 20:02

We don’t pay it on rent, dental, buriels etc and we didn’t pay it on education or vocational training until recently, hell we don’t pay it outside of the ages of 5 and 18 now. So I guess it’s a good question, why are private schools any different? My guess would be Labour dogma.

Edited

Then your guess would be wrong.

Larsaleaping · 03/10/2026 20:07

Interestingnamesuggestion · 03/10/2026 19:55

Do you have enough spare money after paying mortgage and bills to go on holiday, get a takeaway or eat out every once in a while, put your children in any extracurricular activities, have two cars in your household? Do you live in a nice-ish area or a rougher one? Obviously I don't expect you to answer these questions here, but these are some of the choices parents make in order to fund private school fees when they believe their children need it. It's not always about having a higher income.

Actually posters who keep trying to emphasise the rich vs poor divide in this issue are coming across as tone deaf to me. It just isn't the whole story and it continues to be repeated.

No not at the moment, and a lot of people don't, which was my point.

I have a child with an EHCP who is in a state school. I work part time in a low paying but flexible job around the hours she can manage in school. Just being able to go to school full time is a huge privilege to me, so forgive me if I have no sympathy for the parents who are pissing and moaning about the cost of something they are privileged enough to be able to choose in the first place.

EasternStandard · 03/10/2026 20:08

CoconutRumcake · 03/10/2026 20:02

We don’t pay it on rent, dental, buriels etc and we didn’t pay it on education or vocational training until recently, hell we don’t pay it outside of the ages of 5 and 18 now. So I guess it’s a good question, why are private schools any different? My guess would be Labour dogma.

Edited

Votes and spite. Where’s the improvement for state? But really your thread does the opposite of your intention because it’s such a handy kicking post.

JassyRadlett · 03/10/2026 20:10

CoconutRumcake · 03/10/2026 20:07

Yeah it’s true, even before the tax it was tough. We’re big earners but definitely had a smaller house, ten year old car etc to pay for it. It’s also a constant source of worry that you’d have to pull them out of school in the event of redundancy. We did have quite a few bursaries at our school, one of dds friends dad was a taxi driver and wife worked at Waitrose but I’d imagine that option is gone now at most schools

Oh gosh I'm not invisible to you! I thought my posts were somehow hidden.

CoconutRumcake · 03/10/2026 20:11

ThreadGuardDog · 03/10/2026 19:54

FFS children don’t pay tax, how can they be tax dodgers ? And was that 1900 reduction in teachers in state or private schools ?

Exactly, they’re not to blame for anything. Teachers in full time education across the board.

OP posts:
Whistonia · 03/10/2026 20:14

Worrall20 · 03/10/2026 14:19

It is not a race to the bottom. What about SEN kids that the state have failed therefore ordinary working people paid to send their kids to private? Also no money has been saved. Just a peevish move by a peevish Government with no aspiration. The very rich will not be affected by an extra 20%. So no not entitled at all.

What about the ordinary working people who can’t afford to send SEN children to private school.

CoconutRumcake · 03/10/2026 20:14

EasternStandard · 03/10/2026 20:08

Votes and spite. Where’s the improvement for state? But really your thread does the opposite of your intention because it’s such a handy kicking post.

I know, but I quite enjoy reading people tieing themselves in knots attempting defend the policy without saying why they really support it. Even though we all know.

OP posts:
CoconutRumcake · 03/10/2026 20:15

Whistonia · 03/10/2026 20:14

What about the ordinary working people who can’t afford to send SEN children to private school.

Hopefully enough can to reduce pressure on the state option for people in this position.

OP posts:
randomchap · 03/10/2026 20:15

Interestingnamesuggestion · 03/10/2026 19:58

I know they did but that doesn't mean those schools don't exist! It just means that they have to apply the VAT even though they're not profit-making.

I just thought it was useful for the discussion. Bringing up the legal challenge but not it's conclusion seems somewhat dishonest. Like you were trying to imply the challenge was ongoing

Worrall20 · 03/10/2026 20:15

randomchap · 03/10/2026 18:45

The difference between the bonds after the Truss mini-budget and now is that the Truss debacle effected the bond market for the UK, the current issue is affecting multiple countries

But I expect you know that and are just trying to push a false narrative

Really! Because if I remember rightly the bond market recovered after the Truss mini budget! The current issue is affecting multiple countries, eg inflation and oil pressures, over supply of debt, global bond sell off. However the budget is also raising concerns over rising national debt and strained public finances typically Labour policies.

So if you know this why would you say I am pushing a false narrative.

JassyRadlett · 03/10/2026 20:16

CoconutRumcake · 03/10/2026 20:14

I know, but I quite enjoy reading people tieing themselves in knots attempting defend the policy without saying why they really support it. Even though we all know.

I really am so excited to learn what taxes you think don't create losers as well as winners.

randomchap · 03/10/2026 20:16

Worrall20 · 03/10/2026 20:15

Really! Because if I remember rightly the bond market recovered after the Truss mini budget! The current issue is affecting multiple countries, eg inflation and oil pressures, over supply of debt, global bond sell off. However the budget is also raising concerns over rising national debt and strained public finances typically Labour policies.

So if you know this why would you say I am pushing a false narrative.

You don't remember rightly, the truss budget caused the UK bond market issues at the time

CoconutRumcake · 03/10/2026 20:17

ThreadGuardDog · 03/10/2026 20:07

Then your guess would be wrong.

Care to offer your guess? Why education and vocational training is only taxable between 5 and 18?

OP posts:
Interestingnamesuggestion · 03/10/2026 20:17

randomchap · 03/10/2026 20:15

I just thought it was useful for the discussion. Bringing up the legal challenge but not it's conclusion seems somewhat dishonest. Like you were trying to imply the challenge was ongoing

No I was simply trying to inform posters who could not seem to believe such a school might exist. I remembered the legal challenge and it seemed like the quickest way to highlight a group of these schools.

CoconutRumcake · 03/10/2026 20:19

randomchap · 03/10/2026 20:16

You don't remember rightly, the truss budget caused the UK bond market issues at the time

Gilt yields are way higher now than even the peak of Truss, they’re at a 30 year high.

OP posts:
ThreadGuardDog · 03/10/2026 20:19

CoconutRumcake · 03/10/2026 20:17

Care to offer your guess? Why education and vocational training is only taxable between 5 and 18?

Because mainstream education is available between 5 and 18. And it’s free. Once again, private education is a choice. It’s a service for which you pay, and as such subject to VAT.

AgnesMcDoo · 03/10/2026 20:21

What education tax is this?

Theres no education tax.

ThreadGuardDog · 03/10/2026 20:21

CoconutRumcake · 03/10/2026 20:19

Gilt yields are way higher now than even the peak of Truss, they’re at a 30 year high.

And this is relevant how ?

ThreadGuardDog · 03/10/2026 20:23

CoconutRumcake · 03/10/2026 20:15

Hopefully enough can to reduce pressure on the state option for people in this position.

This makes no sense.

AgnesMcDoo · 03/10/2026 20:25

CoconutRumcake · 03/10/2026 19:53

I prefer education tax, it makes people understand what they support. I can fully understand why it makes people uncomfortable attempting to justify it and would prefer to call it something else.

You can call it whatever you like but making stuff up doesn’t make it true.

Arlanymor · 03/10/2026 20:27

ThreadGuardDog · 03/10/2026 20:21

And this is relevant how ?

Only to people have gilt.

But no guilt… being able to afford something 94% of the population cannot afford and still bitching about it,

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