AIBU to reconsider a long friendship over support for education tax?

[CoconutRumcake]

A close friend of over 15 years last night unashamedly said she supported the children’s education tax. To put this in context, she is godmother to my ds and has seen first hand what damage this has done to children and families as well as her own sister losing her job when the school closed. She had maybe drank too much and has apologised over text this morning, but I really can’t shake the feeling that I don’t want to be around her.
AIBU -try and move past it
YANBU -it’s run it’s time

There was 468, 300 teachers when Labour got into power, after their super urgent education tax implanted half way through the academic year we now have 466, 400 teachers. A reduction in 1900 teachers.

As well as recruiting 6500 teachers, Labour also claimed it would fund housing , free school breakfasts and head teacher training. Quite a lot from less than 1 billion and considering the education budget is 69 billion. Maybe they miscalculated but I wouldn’t go so far as to say they misled people selling them an idea that a small group of tax dodging children are to blame for poor state schools. Surely a government wouldn’t do that ? And surely people are a bit smarter than that?

The court dismissed that legal challenge

https://www.judiciary.uk/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/BYL.MediaSummary.nf-1.pdf

Are you joking? It absolutely is the top X% of earners who can even think about sending their children to private school. The idea that living in a smaller house, go without luxuries or holidays is a tough sacrifice some people have to make to be able to send their children to private school is utterly tone deaf! The rest of us literally live like that year after year! There's no downsizing or cutting down on luxuries and holidays. There's covering the essential bills and praying nothing breaks. Week after week and year after year.

Forgive me if my heart doesn't bleed for those suffering with cutbacks to afford private school.

And how’s your friend?

The service you’re providing is posters get to take chunks out of you and your dc. And they’re happy about dc being moved and schools closed.

Nothing to do with improving state.

I prefer education tax, it makes people understand what they support. I can fully understand why it makes people uncomfortable attempting to justify it and would prefer to call it something else.

FFS children don’t pay tax, how can they be tax dodgers ? And was that 1900 reduction in teachers in state or private schools ?

But it's inaccurate, why would you use an inaccurate phrase?

I recommend everyone on this thread fills this in to see how they really compare versus the rest of the UK. Eye opening.

https://ifs.org.uk/tools_and_resources/where_do_you_fit_in

We all know why you prefer ‘education tax’. It suits your narrative, nothing more. It’s VAT. We all pay it on goods and services. Why are private schools any different ?

Do you have enough spare money after paying mortgage and bills to go on holiday, get a takeaway or eat out every once in a while, put your children in any extracurricular activities, have two cars in your household? Do you live in a nice-ish area or a rougher one? Obviously I don't expect you to answer these questions here, but these are some of the choices parents make in order to fund private school fees when they believe their children need it. It's not always about having a higher income.

Actually posters who keep trying to emphasise the rich vs poor divide in this issue are coming across as tone deaf to me. It just isn't the whole story and it continues to be repeated.

Its a fallacy that all private schools pay more. Increasingly, they pay less, especially when you factor in Saturday school, boarding duties, far more extra curricular demands. Plus a lot have come out of TPS. They may have a better staff/pupil ratio so higher staff costs that way. Again, you cannot generalise. A charity is a very specific legal term, its not about what random members of the public think a charity looks like.

It’s totally fine, I understand your life might not be easy but a group of children in boaters are not the reason.

Try your household income in this calculator and come back and tell me the %

https://ifs.org.uk/tools_and_resources/where_do_you_fit_in

I know they did but that doesn't mean those schools don't exist! It just means that they have to apply the VAT even though they're not profit-making.

It is, in the main, about having a higher-than-average income. Families on the median income do not generally have the capacity to spend more than half of that income on one child's eduction.

That's not to say that many people don't make significant cutbacks and sacrifices to send their children to private schools - they do. But in the main, those people's starting point is much more comfortable than the majority.

Mortgages, rent and the cost of food have gone up by more than 20% in recent years.

Haven't you posted this before?
it's not a tax on education
You are being very unreasonable

We don’t pay it on rent, dental, buriels etc and we didn’t pay it on education or vocational training until recently, hell we don’t pay it outside of the ages of 5 and 18 now. So I guess it’s a good question, why are private schools any different? My guess would be Labour dogma.

Let's say fees are 25k. Let's say two parents on professional salaries of 45k. So net household income of maybe 60k. Yes thats above average but hardly hugely wealthy and indicative of a professional or skilled job but not a rarified one. If those parents have one child and choose not to live in SE, they could absorb those fees with careful planning but not suddenly whacking 20% on top. That's the demographic thats been hit by this.

The point I’m making is that for example your family and my family might earn the same money. But have different priorities on how we spend our income. I might shop at Aldi. You shop at Waitrose. You might have two expensive leased cars on your drive. I might have a banger. You have two holidays abroad a year. I just have a weekend in Blackpool. You might live in a three bed detached in a nice area. I might live in a tiny two bedroom flat somewhere. My spare money goes on private education because that’s my priority (all hypothetical of course as my DCs are grown now). So it’s not always about the privilege of money.

Do you understand that being able to going without/go on less holidays is in itself, a privileged position to be in?

To own a house at all is a privilege. Too small or not.

That's just a choice. We've made that choice. We choose to stay in a 3 bed terrace with 2 kids sharing a room, and budget holidays or camping because we value the extras private school can offer. But we are fully aware that's our choice.

Its no where near comparable to, say, a COL essential sacrifice of heating or food.

Being able to afford private education, with or without prioritising other luxuries, is ALWAYS a privilege. The only time it's not, is 100% scholarship/bursary. Which are incredibly rare nowadays.

And people have made gradual adjustments over several years to absorb that. This happened all in one hit with hit a great deal of warning. Mid year too. That alone was v poor planning x

Tone deaf ? Really ?

🙈nooooo. How did that happen?! I pride myself on my spelling. Mortified……