AIBU to reconsider a long friendship over support for education tax?

[CoconutRumcake]

A close friend of over 15 years last night unashamedly said she supported the children’s education tax. To put this in context, she is godmother to my ds and has seen first hand what damage this has done to children and families as well as her own sister losing her job when the school closed. She had maybe drank too much and has apologised over text this morning, but I really can’t shake the feeling that I don’t want to be around her.
AIBU -try and move past it
YANBU -it’s run it’s time

Do you realise how ridiculous you sound?

Assuming that you are in the UK, then this is about fee paying education. Should those that can afford to send their children to a fee paying school have to pay more tax?

There are two views on having money - on being wealthy. One says, hey, I am incredibly fortunate. Sure, I worked for it, but so do others work hard and make sod all. Would the country benefit if I paid more in taxes, yes. Would I like to see my money going into welfare and schools and libraries and such? Yes. Tax me more, make it fairer. These people care about society as a whole and understand that money isn’t a signifier of anything in particular.

And there are those that see money as a symbol that they are better somehow. That they alone should have responsibility for what they spend their money on, and those without it are probably lazy and not worthy of support.

I know which group I prefer. Your friend sounds decent.

Do you always agree with your friends on everything? Sounds boring, I enjoy having discussions with friends about different ideas etc it can be done without falling out or having any negative feelings.
I assume by education tax you mean the vat on private schooling.

The government have added 20% tax to chidren’s education services, nothing to do with private schools themselves as they’ve always paid VAT or corporation tax etc if they make a profit. It’s a tax on the children, there’s a lot of ignorance around this and I don’t judge people in that as it might not affect their children or jobs, but like I say my friend (?!?) is a net tax payer therefore not the usual type to get sucked into this nonsense and is well aware of the policy.

This is what the government wanted you to think, and it's probably true both that Eton (and Eton parents?) can afford the VAT. However, there are many smaller private schools with much lower fees that are run as true charities offering an alternative type of education for various ideological/religious/other reasons. These schools were not allowed an exemption from the VAT even if their fees are lower than what the government pays per head for state education, which many people think is unfair. (Private healthcare for example is not subject to VAT and nobody seems to be shouting about that.) A lot of schools like this have had to close, disrupting children's education needlessly. A lot of parents scrimp and save to pay because state education doesn't work well for their children, and some of these had to pull their kids out of their school when the VAT came in because they couldn't stretch to it.

However, to the OP I think it would be sad to end a friendship over a single point of disagreement. Perhaps better just to tell her you're surprised that she sees it that way and you'd prefer not to talk about it any more.

How is the OP’s opinion ‘leftist’??? She is raging at her friend because she, the OP, wants tax breaks on private education…

I work in an independent SEND school that is a genuine charity and I agree with VAT on private schools.

I really have no idea what you are talking about any more. have you been drinking?

If I was to surround myself exclusively with people who have exact same opinions as me I'd be completely alone. People are entitled to their views.

Public schools don't have better quality of teaching than most of state schools. Children who go to public schools make connections to people who can open doors for them in the future and learn how to speak like an upper class person so that they fit in well in certain environments in the future which will also open doors for them eg in terms of employment. It's about privilege, not quality of education. Taxing this kind of schools doesn't deprive students of quality education, there are plenty of excellent state schools to choose from. If average middle class people didn't cosplay as upper class, they wouldn't be affected by the new rules and wouldn't have to uproot their children because their fees got 20% higher and it broke their bank. Real upper class people won't be affected by the increase as they have enough money to send 10 children to a public school. This privilege should be taxed. Maybe this is what your friend had in mind, not a personal attack on you and your family

But you dont pay VAT on profits OP?

You really need to get over your victim mentality. Have a look at what is happen in state school and SEND education for real world examples of what is happening.

There are children going without education because there are no suitable places for them and when they become adults utterly unequipped for the work place half the country want them denied benefits.

It’s also not politics of envy, it’s recognising that ALL children deserve the same opportunities, not just the very privileged 7%.

Not really, but there’s a broad consensus on what’s acceptable as with most friendship groups . Supporting taxing children’s education is definitely on the list of what f*ck is wrong with you, she’s put it down to the wine and has now apologised on the group chat… I’m getting the feeling she might of upset a few other mums last night.

Poor little rich people. 😂 I went to private school my whole life. I can’t afford it for my own children, but I bloody well think it shouldn’t be VAT exempt. If you can’t afford private school when there is a 20% uplift in fees, you could never really afford private school and have to accept you’re just one of the peasants like the rest of us. It’s a dumb thing to end a friendship over though.

I think YABVU.

You should be able to have a difference of opinion with a friend without breaking the friendship.

It is also possible to see that VAT can be bad for some individuals whilst simultaneously thinking it is the right thing to do longer term for the country. Almost any tax / benefit change can be negative for some whilst being good overall (or conversely positive for some whilst being negative overall).

I despair how people seem to have so little tolerance and ability to agree to disagree these days.

Lots of people support that tax. Sounds like your friends are just salty that your luxuries are more expensive than they used to be. Get over it.

Gosh, that's a rather sad thing to risk losing friends over. I really can't understand being that way.

"Children who go to public schools make connections to people who can open doors for them in the future and learn how to speak like an upper class person so that they fit in well in certain environments in the future which will also open doors for them eg in terms of employment. It's about privilege, not quality of education."
"If average middle class people didn't cosplay as upper class, they wouldn't be affected by the new rules"

Again this is the government's messaging from when the issue was being debated. It characterises only one type of private school and only one stereotype of people who send their children to private schools.
To me it is 50% offensive and 50% absolutely hilarious.

If you read the actual thread properly, it was my friend who supported taxing children’s education and closing down schools …not me. If you expect a response from me then please do me the courtesy of reading what I write.

What an earth are you talking about? No one pays VAT on profits? The fees private schools charge have historically been exempt from VAT for some very odd reasons, the Labour Party removed this exemption. They were very clear about the fact that they intended to do this in their manifesto and the country voted them in. They also intended to remove charitable status (which entities the schools to other benefits) but have not done this.

IS THIS WHAT YOU MEAN OR NOT?

My best mate and I disagree on this very issue and also religion. We just don’t talk about those things. People are allowed an opinion.

You posted this before right?!

Why's that?

Anyway I'll tell you again I wouldn't be friends with someone based on what taxes they do and don't support. I doubt most people like any taxes! Especially not on things they buy or use themselves.

But if they support that maybe they just don't agree with private schools in principle and think that ideally all children deserve a high quality education. Not just those with money.

It's a common view and doesn't mean they wish privately educated children harm, or would be disreputable or unpleasant?!

Yabu. It’s not like she said “I’m glad your family is suffering because of it”.

I’m glad of the VAT change on private schools. Plenty of people are. She’s allowed an opinion and it wasn’t a personal attack.

I’m getting the feeling she might of upset a few other mums last night.

I wouldn't ordinarily point this out, but considering this is a thread about how dire it would be to have to accept the state educational offerings - which most of the country has no choice about - the word you're looking for is have. As in, she might have upset a few other mums last night. You're welcome.

Her position is very reasonable (and the majority consensus in the UK) and you’re throwing your toys out the pram and acting like she’s said something terrible. She’s done nothing wrong. I hope all these replies make you realise you’re being a bad friend, poor woman. You should be the one apologising.

Honestly, is there not a single person in your friendship group that can see that raising a bit more money from private school fees, in order to support the 94% of children who attend state schools, might be something worth a try? Especially when any of the 6% of children affected are entitled to a free education anyway (it’s not like anyone is sending former private school kids to Afghanistan FFS).

If so you have very very odd friends.