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AIBU to reconsider a long friendship over support for education tax?

1000 replies

CoconutRumcake · 03/10/2026 10:46

A close friend of over 15 years last night unashamedly said she supported the children’s education tax. To put this in context, she is godmother to my ds and has seen first hand what damage this has done to children and families as well as her own sister losing her job when the school closed. She had maybe drank too much and has apologised over text this morning, but I really can’t shake the feeling that I don’t want to be around her.
AIBU -try and move past it
YANBU -it’s run it’s time

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
AnswerIsNo · 03/10/2026 16:12

ThatCosy · 03/10/2026 16:02

Do her a favour and stay well away from her.

My very close friend of 15 years, who I conveniently invented for this post, has been demoted by the upper echelons in less than 24 hours to "a pretty thick and spiteful type of person"

all because of a view vinos and a whatsapp group chat

believability ratio now at 1000 to 1 and dwindling

SerenaCat93 · 03/10/2026 16:13

CoconutRumcake · 03/10/2026 16:00

It a no point says it’s a tax on private schools, because it isn’t!! Jesus wept. The tax is on the children’s education.

It says tax is now payable on education services provided by private schools, private means non government funded and school is an institution where children are educated. So a tax on education provided to children by any non government funded organisation. A tax on children’s education.

Jesus Christ that is so many words for "tax on private education"! It's like banging your head against a brick wall I don't know why anyone is bothering.

There isn't a universal tax on childrens education. Almost all schools in the UK are free and you pay no tax for childrens attendance at all. It's incredible that someone who is so successful can be so thick.

If the tax only applies to fee paying schools, then it is not tax on childrens education. It is tax on private education. Which yes is for children but is also an optional luxury which is why it is now taxed like all the other optional luxuries you can buy if you want to.

If there was truly a blanket tax on childrens education we would all be paying it. But we're not. There's no way this isn't trolling at this point.

Wishihadanalgorithm · 03/10/2026 16:13

OP, it’s clear you feel very strongly about the VAT (I do too; I work in one of those terrible independent schools and send my DC there as well) and actually it may just be best to step away from the friend for longer.

Forget the people on here who want to get into a fight over the VAT with you; that’s all irrelevant to your initial question.

I Think your issue is you see your friend’s opinions as anathema to your own. You see her in a different way now and have been hurt by her beliefs.

Sometimes there isn’t any coming back from a hurt like this.

hedgeknight · 03/10/2026 16:15

We have a declining birth rate, state schools are closing but nobody ever starts threads on that.

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 03/10/2026 16:15

CoconutRumcake · 03/10/2026 10:58

No, what removal of ‘charitable tax breaks’ on private schools ? I’m talking about the 20% tax on paying for children’s non state education. You sound a bit like her last night.

Get real!,

Public schools are pseudo charities... Exactly why should the state support these??

RedTagAlan · 03/10/2026 16:15

CoconutRumcake · 03/10/2026 16:02

Not really, I think people who want to tax children’s education are at best easily manipulated and misguided and at worst motivated by malice and spite towards children. I don’t like people like that.

Is it not like milk. If I go to the shop and buy milk, it is 0%VAT. But if I were to go to a Michelin Star Restaurant and have a glass, I would have to pay 20% VAT.

Now, there is a choice. I can buy milk out the shop for DD. Or, I could choose only to take her to a Michelin Star Restaurant to buy her milk.

If I done the latter, I could technically claim that the Government are taxing children's milk. But that would be a daft claim to make.

Do you agree that would be a daft claim ?

BobbiBiscuits · 03/10/2026 16:15

SqueezieWeegie · 03/10/2026 16:12

Ah, all those poor kids from Eton down the mine at 5am to earn some pennies to pay their tax.

Boo hoo.

My grandad worked down the mines. My children go to private school.

Social mobility. Allowed under the Conservatives. Despised by socialists.

AnswerIsNo · 03/10/2026 16:17

RedTagAlan · 03/10/2026 16:15

Is it not like milk. If I go to the shop and buy milk, it is 0%VAT. But if I were to go to a Michelin Star Restaurant and have a glass, I would have to pay 20% VAT.

Now, there is a choice. I can buy milk out the shop for DD. Or, I could choose only to take her to a Michelin Star Restaurant to buy her milk.

If I done the latter, I could technically claim that the Government are taxing children's milk. But that would be a daft claim to make.

Do you agree that would be a daft claim ?

I think it would be daft to go a Michelin star restaurant to buy milk for your cornflakes

not to mention, Gordon Ramsay's probably sneezed in it

CoconutRumcake · 03/10/2026 16:18

Stopbeingsoridiculous · 03/10/2026 16:05

No — the evidence so far does not show a flood of private-school closures after VAT was introduced in January 2025. And yes, state-school funding has increased, although there is an important caveat about saying that a particular pound of VAT revenue has been directly transferred to schools.
What has actually happened to private schools?
The latest government figures are surprisingly clear:

Academic year

Private schools closing

Long-term average before the change

75 a year

2024/25

60

2025/26

67

closures since the tax change have actually been below the 20-year historical average. The government also says 106 new private schools opened in England during 2024/25.

That doesn’t mean VAT hasn’t hurt individual schools. Some schools that were already financially marginal have closed, and there is legitimate disagreement about whether VAT was the final straw in particular cases. But the national numbers don’t support the claim that VAT has produced a widespread collapse of the sector.
There has, however, been a noticeable reduction in pupils. The Independent Schools Council’s comparable sample showed about 13,500 fewer pupils (-2.4%) between January 2024 and January 2025, with particularly large falls in new-entry years such as Reception, Year 3 and Year 7.

How much money has it raised?
The original Treasury/OBR estimate was:
£460m in 2024/25 → £1.505bn in 2025/26 → £1.725bn a year by 2029/30.
By November 2025 the OBR had actually revised the expected receipts slightly upwards, by about £40m a year on average, with early tax receipts supporting the original assumptions about pupil movements.
There’s also a subtle point about the “20% VAT”. Schools can reclaim VAT on many of their costs, so the Treasury estimates the effective VAT liability at about 15% of fee income, not 20%. It originally expected average fees to rise by around 10%, although individual schools have responded very differently.
Has that money actually benefited state schools?
Yes in the broad public-finance sense, but you can’t trace the VAT receipts directly to a particular school’s budget.
VAT goes into general government revenues rather than into a ring-fenced “state schools VAT fund”. The government says the revenue is being used to support public services including state education.
And state-school funding has increased substantially:
2024/25: £61.6bn
2025/26: £65.3bn
2026/27: £67.0bn
So that’s a £5.4bn increase in the core schools budget over two years. The government explicitly links the removal of private-school tax exemptions to helping finance public services and state education, but it wouldn’t be accurate to say that the entire £3.7bn or £1.7bn increases came from private-school VAT.

There is also a cost on the other side of the ledger. The Treasury estimates that eventually about 35,000 additional children will attend state schools because of the policy, costing around £270m a year. Against projected VAT receipts of roughly £1.7bn, that still leaves a substantial net contribution to the Exchequer.

So, as of October 2026, the emerging picture is quite different from some of the predictions when the policy was announced: private schools haven’t closed en masse, pupil numbers have fallen modestly, and the tax appears to be raising roughly the amount anticipated.

Sorry OP. You can’t argue with the facts!
It was a worthwhile tax that caused little damage to the sector and has raised significant revenue to fund both state education and public services. I call that a win win … don’t let facts get in the way of your righteous indignation though. !

Well chatgpt, it’s certainly not win win for the children, parents and faculty staff affected I can vouch for that. I guess the real question is, is 1 billion a year worth it for the cost to children.

OP posts:
RedTagAlan · 03/10/2026 16:19

AnswerIsNo · 03/10/2026 16:17

I think it would be daft to go a Michelin star restaurant to buy milk for your cornflakes

not to mention, Gordon Ramsay's probably sneezed in it

Would it be a daft claim to make ?

CoconutRumcake · 03/10/2026 16:20

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 03/10/2026 16:15

Get real!,

Public schools are pseudo charities... Exactly why should the state support these??

?

OP posts:
fuckeditupbadly · 03/10/2026 16:21

CandidHedgehog · 03/10/2026 15:30

Of course I know that it’s the parents who choose the luxury of private education who pay the 20% VAT.

I fully support the government removing the tax exemption that previously meant they didn’t.

Nobody is taxing children’s education - every single child has the right to free education at a state school. If parents choose not have their child use that right, they can pay tax on the services they choose to purchase from a private business.

Excellent. Go tell that to the thousands of kids being denied an adequate provision by the state to meet their needs. I work at a PS that is mainstream but increasingly taking students who cannot cope in 1000+ comps but thrive in our small, flexible setting. Most of our parents are completely ordinary people, a million miles from Eton. And this policy has affected them dire tly, whilst doing precisely nothing to improve state.

RampantIvy · 03/10/2026 16:22

CoconutRumcake · 03/10/2026 14:58

Well it’s not a particularly complex issue, tax children’s education vs don’t tax it.

@CoconutRumcake It isn't children's education tax. It is a tax on private education. Why do you persist in repeating this over and over again?

I'm struggling to believe that you are a high income earner when you can't even understand the basics of education, not know the difference between have and of, not be able to read and understand beyond the first line of the link you have posted several times and get the name of the researchers quoted in an earlier post.

Your single track, rigid way of thinking and complete inability to listen to any other points of view make me wonder if you have some kind of neurodiversity going on.

nearlylovemyusername · 03/10/2026 16:22

OP, I assume your DC are affected by this policy?

I'm with you, I'd drop contacts. Your friend was masking and wine made this mask slip. You now know her views.

Btw, where are 6500 new teachers? The policy has been in place for two years

HPFA · 03/10/2026 16:22

CrispySquid · 03/10/2026 11:31

Have you posted this same thing before? I swear I’ve read an almost identical thread posted a couple of months ago on AIBU

I remember one too.

Presumably the OP initiates discussion about VAT on school fees in order to smoke out friends who disagree with her who she then cuts off

ElfAndSafetyBored · 03/10/2026 16:23

if Google is to be believed, then OP is right about the not for profit bit.

So, my thoughts for what they are worth:

  • I don’t think it benefits anyone to have any good schools close as where do those children then go? If they take up places at over subscribed state schools then that is a shame, when their parents can afford to pay privately. It’s a bit like it’s good when those who can pay for private health care, do, as it leaves the NHS for the rest of us.
  • Also surely this affects the less wealthy who send their kids to private school more, which is a shame as it means private schools will be even more elitist and produce children (boys) even more up their own arseholes. I can do without them in my work environment if I am honest.
  • I can’t afford to send my child to private school, though he would benefit from smaller class sizes, greater expectations - I won’t say nicer facilities because his brand new school is a fabulous building, though I can imagine this might be true for other state kids. I don’t mind others sending their though.
  • So does removing this ‘loophole’ really generate enough money to make it worth it? Generally I would be happier to see corporations taxed more. The Googles, the Apples, the other big companies that make billions. If we need more taxes, they should be first with their hands in their pockets.
  • There should be no crap schools.
  • State schools should drill higher expectations into all children (I’m sure some do).
  • State schools should make children skilled in giving presentations and talking publicly.
  • I don’t think single sex schools are good for boys. This is irrelevant to this thread but I can’t help myself from saying it.
RampantIvy · 03/10/2026 16:23

CoconutRumcake · 03/10/2026 15:52

Okay, but ‘Education and vocational training tax of those aged between 5 and 18’ is a bit of a mouthful

And it isn't true. Read through the link you have posted.

CoconutRumcake · 03/10/2026 16:23

Wishihadanalgorithm · 03/10/2026 16:13

OP, it’s clear you feel very strongly about the VAT (I do too; I work in one of those terrible independent schools and send my DC there as well) and actually it may just be best to step away from the friend for longer.

Forget the people on here who want to get into a fight over the VAT with you; that’s all irrelevant to your initial question.

I Think your issue is you see your friend’s opinions as anathema to your own. You see her in a different way now and have been hurt by her beliefs.

Sometimes there isn’t any coming back from a hurt like this.

Exactly right. I don’t think, even if I wanted to, I can actually forget she supports such a wicked policy that has hurt my children. I think I’ll just step away from the friendship, it’s one think being ignorant if the damage this us causing but entirely another to see what people supposedly close to her have gone through because if it.

OP posts:
ElfAndSafetyBored · 03/10/2026 16:24

I do think I’d advise your friend to cut back contact with you though, OP. I know people here haven’t agreed with you, but you don’t seem overly pleasant.

Pineneedlesincarpet · 03/10/2026 16:25

bababamama · 03/10/2026 10:58

It’s not an education tax, it’s the removal of a tax break from pseudo charities that didn’t actually benefit the public (which is the definition of a charity!) Eton is definitely not a charity because 50% of the relevant age population cannot benefit by their own rules to start with!

Its not a tax break. Education isn't usually taxed. It just is in the UK now.

CoconutRumcake · 03/10/2026 16:25

RampantIvy · 03/10/2026 16:23

And it isn't true. Read through the link you have posted.

The education and vocational training tax applied to those aged between 5 and 18 link? Hmm ok, I’ll give another read 😀

OP posts:
AnswerIsNo · 03/10/2026 16:25

BobbiBiscuits · 03/10/2026 16:15

My grandad worked down the mines. My children go to private school.

Social mobility. Allowed under the Conservatives. Despised by socialists.

Edited

Allowed under the Conservatives. Despised by socialists.

Have you any evidence, other than anecdata/opinion, to support that claim?

nearlylovemyusername · 03/10/2026 16:26

Pineneedlesincarpet · 03/10/2026 16:25

Its not a tax break. Education isn't usually taxed. It just is in the UK now.

UK is the only country in the world which taxes education.

Pineneedlesincarpet · 03/10/2026 16:27

RampantIvy · 03/10/2026 16:22

@CoconutRumcake It isn't children's education tax. It is a tax on private education. Why do you persist in repeating this over and over again?

I'm struggling to believe that you are a high income earner when you can't even understand the basics of education, not know the difference between have and of, not be able to read and understand beyond the first line of the link you have posted several times and get the name of the researchers quoted in an earlier post.

Your single track, rigid way of thinking and complete inability to listen to any other points of view make me wonder if you have some kind of neurodiversity going on.

But the education is being given to children? Its a children's education tax. There's no VAT currently on adult providers of private education, being universities. Yet....

Pineneedlesincarpet · 03/10/2026 16:28

nearlylovemyusername · 03/10/2026 16:26

UK is the only country in the world which taxes education.

Thats because we live in a socialist paradise....

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