AIBU to find pronoun introductions patronising?

[superlint]

I was in a meeting this morning and a woman introduced herself saying ‘Hi, my name is Maureen and my pronouns are she/her'

I genuinely haven’t heard anyone say this for years. As she was clearly a biological female and had a female name it sounded both patronising and virtue signalling. We all knew she was a woman within a second of seeing her.

I have never not immediately been able to tell someone’s sex and quite frankly in a meeting you use people's names not pronouns so it’s totally unnecessary.

AIBU to think pronoun announcements sound ridiculous.

"Tracey's made a really good point".

How is it actively useful in a meeting, if Alex is male and says he’s Alex, he’s still male.
And if Alex is female and says she’s Alex she’s still female.

One can use our eyes….

It’s not hard

It doesn't matter if someone's got a unisex name and you don't know if they're male or female though.

At one time a colleague and I both had email correspondence with an Alex. I assumed Alex was male and my colleague assumed Alex was female. In reality it didn't matter. Our business could be conducted without knowing that. We never found out either way.

They misgendered themselves.
Nobody else has to collude with their delusion or whatever fantasy is going on their heads.

I assumed it was satirical.

☝

Have you considered that it’s not about you? Have you considered that it might help someone who is trans or non binary feel more welcome, or that cis people sharing their pronouns makes it safer for trans people to share their pronouns because it doesn’t automatically ask mean they’re trans if everyone is doing the same?

But no, you think it’s abit annoying.

@mumsnet is it possible to keep transphobic threads in the sex and gender forum, so people who want to use Mumsnet without reading transphobia don’t have to keep bumping into it on AIBU?

How is this thread transphobic? 'Maureen' was/is female isn't she hence the ridiculousness of her telling everyone she likes to be known as a female.
Even typing that sounds insane 😂

"Thank goodness you made that clear, Maureen. I could have sworn you were a he/him."

No still wouldn’t use her or she in front of a person that was present.
It would be unnatural to do so.

You’d say actually “I agree with Tracey’s point xyz"
You’d also say I agree with YOU Tracey and have eye contact.
Or “I agree with YOuR point Tracey.

People don’t use pronouns about people when they are there. It's bad form and rude.

Who’s she, the cat's mother!

Sorry, but wth is a type B sexual implement?

"Makes a good point" acknowledges the validity of Tracey's point and is not incorrect.

We have a "she/they" at my work. Happy to be called they, must never be called her.

I'm generally pretty supportive and will call people whatever they like, but that one did get a small internal eye roll.

They always do.

This is what I hear too, with an underlying "I'm an HR nightmare and often take mental health sick days"

I don't tend to talk much to They/them people either, they are normally exhausting.

Oh, and it DOES cost me to lie.

Humans don't like lying, it makes us uncomfortable.

Insisting that a handful of people get to feel good at the expense of everyone else isn't inclusive, it's wildly EXclusive.

It's tempting to press further - "Which one is the subject pronoun? Which is the object pronoun? What's your preferred possessive adjective?" 😀

Yes, indeed. Similarly, it would help with understanding and consideration to know if meeting attendees don't share the same native language as everybody else, and the language that the meeting is being conducted in; or indeed if they have hearing, speech or any other communication-related disabilities or difficulties.

That would be much more useful than knowing what pronouns individuals like to make people use when talking to others about them in the third person.

I don't think this is transphobia, I think this is a question of inclusion Vs exclusion. If a post breaks the talk guidelines, please report it via the 3 dots.
Imo using pronouns has a negative effect on some, who are likely to just stay quiet or get anxious, and a positive effect on some who want the affirmation. Personally I just steer clear, I'd rather be fully inclusive of all than only inclusive of those who have the confidence to ask for it. And I do get that it might encourage those who are not out yet to feel like they could be, but for me that doesn't outweigh the negatives enough for me to participate.

So this person can be "she" but not "her"? Which means her gender changes depending on the linguistic case you use to refer to her? What a load of absolute nonsense.

@superlint I haven't worked out how to do links on here but if you search on YouTube for 'Erin, cat, pronouns' I guarantee it will make your day! (It's very short.)

I've luckily never really come across pronouning in any place I've worked in (amazing really, given I work in culture/media/non-profit type arena) but every organisation I've ever worked for has been laser-focused on revenue, saving money and ensuring all time and resources are used wisely and responsibly.

What possible fiscal benefit is there to spending so much employee time on the pronoun ritual? If I was a shareholder I would be wondering why every meeting is taken up with 5 minutes of she/her-ing - the salary cost adds up over several meetings a week/month/year. Do your jobs and go home and tell your mum what your pronouns are.

Surely the correct pronouns in this situation are you/your?

Yes, I have.

Have you considered I just want to live my best life and not have to play pretend dumb at work?

We're also not required to repeat the catechisms of any other belief system on pain of HR hell, so why this one?