AIBU to find pronoun introductions patronising?

[superlint]

I was in a meeting this morning and a woman introduced herself saying ‘Hi, my name is Maureen and my pronouns are she/her'

I genuinely haven’t heard anyone say this for years. As she was clearly a biological female and had a female name it sounded both patronising and virtue signalling. We all knew she was a woman within a second of seeing her.

I have never not immediately been able to tell someone’s sex and quite frankly in a meeting you use people's names not pronouns so it’s totally unnecessary.

AIBU to think pronoun announcements sound ridiculous.

I don’t do it but it doesn’t bother me that others do.

Didn’t anyone tell you that using pronouns when speaking about a person in front of them, rather than their name, is bloody rude.

I won't draw attention to my femaleness as part of a group intro in the workplace, my name is enough. When I see people signing their emails of like this, I know they don't support single sex spaces so it makes me wary around them.

Thankfully you believe it could be, these days.

Five years ago, no chance.

Nature is healing.

I don’t have preferred pronouns though, your opinion of me and how you speak about me when I’m not there is absolutely none of my business. I’d like it if you didn’t call me an arrogant twat or hard faced bitch though, but I’m not going to explicitly ask that you don’t. My workplace and the law asks that you don’t call me “the one with the big tits” or “the one in accounts with a flat arse”, and I agree with that.

But I genuinely couldn’t care less if you called me he/they/it/whatsherface/that one off Mumsnet if it helped you communicate your meaning more clearly.

And what if I’m trans but not out yet. Should I lie about my preferred pronouns when explicitly asked? That feels like an awful position to put someone in.

Really?

If i am asked I call me 'me/I'

Why not tell people you haven't heard from in a long time your favourite colour or preferred drink? There might be hurt and pain caused if you make someone a coffee but these days they prefer tea. They might not take sugar for health reasons and you asking if they take sugar could be triggering.

People who suffer hurt and pain from 'misgendering' have clearly never experieced real pain or suffering. It goes to show the level of narcassism. If it is really no big deal to announce your pronouns then getting misgendered at worst should be a mild inconvenience. The fact it causes hurt and pain is exactly why people are sick of pandering to this crap.

I roll my eyes at the mere thought of someone saying that out loud, I also bin cv's that come in with pronouns too. Snowflakes the whole lot of them. Attention seeking performative bullshit.

As an FYI DebbieSavage makes these types of posts regularly (if you look at their post history). Their thing is to be contrarian and non-serious on threads

😂😂😂

You’re right OP, I find it so unnecessary and patronising, and yes, a form of virtue signalling 🥱

‘Hi, people I haven’t seen since last week, I’m still a human female
with the vagina I was born with’

I would much prefer we reverted to a very old custom of putting our titles rather than our pronouns.

It's far more use to know Jane is Dr Doe, Mary is Professor Smith, Alex is Mr Jones and Sam is Ms Wilson than anyone's neo pronouns.

Nah, mortified is a huge stretch. Would I feel like dying from embarrassment if I misgendered someone? Naah, I'd be completely unfazed. I’m never virtue signalling and normalising using pronouns either.

I wonder how some people get through the day if this annoys them so much they need to start a mumsnet thread about it.

Someone else stating their pronouns does not bother me at all. And I don’t feel coerced to going along with anything, regardless of my own personal feelings about gender/sex. If I didn’t want to state my pronouns then I just…simply wouldn’t? it doesn’t sound like this was a company wide policy, just one individual.

There are some circumstances where it is actively useful, such as if someone has a gender neutral name (Alex or Chris for example) or if someone uses they/them or may present as a different gender.

You don’t need to marry these people, or even be friends with them but we all have to work with people who live their lives with different values to our own and for the sake of a respectful working environment I’m happy to use the pronouns people want me to when I’m talking to or about them. That does not impact me at all. Why does it impact you?

😂 👌

I just write on force and say to people that I do not comply with that nonsense ideology

I don’t go to work to affirm other people’s lifestyles, identities, fantasies, relationship status, blow smoke up your arse or any other irrelevancies. I am polite, professional and collegiate and want to just get on with my job.

I will use inaccurate pronouns if to do otherwise would get me sacked, but I wish people would just get proper help and not rely on work colleagues to suspend their belief in material reality.

But, whether they like it or not, it absolutely does single out people who like to use pronouns that differ from their sex. When an obvious woman introduces herself as 'she/her', then an obvious man says 'he/him', of course people will notice when somebody claims pronouns that clearly don't 'traditionally' go with what everybody would naturally assume for you. You've already deliberately singled yourself out by going down that route.

It's a bit like hiring a room in a busy community centre for an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, but then getting everybody from the keep-fit club, the knitting group, the local history society, the Quakers meeting and the youth group to all come and sit in a massive circle in your room, to inform everybody present that they are not an alcoholic.

"As Tracey just said xyz, I agree with Tracey, Tracey makes a really good point"
Or "As Tracey just said xyz, I agree with her, she makes a really good point".

2nd way, not rude at all. And how we use pronouns in meetings or in front of the person we are talking about.

The irony of your first sentence being followed by a long post engaging with the thread is 👌

I think I am going to go for "it"

Oh fgs 🙄

Every few days? You are really taking the piss aren't you.

I'm at work to work, to drive forward our company aims and objectives, and yes, to make money. I want to expend mental capacity working, not walking on eggshells and worrying if I'm going to be tripped up by pronoun people and reported to HR.