AIBU to find pronoun introductions patronising?

[superlint]

I was in a meeting this morning and a woman introduced herself saying ‘Hi, my name is Maureen and my pronouns are she/her'

I genuinely haven’t heard anyone say this for years. As she was clearly a biological female and had a female name it sounded both patronising and virtue signalling. We all knew she was a woman within a second of seeing her.

I have never not immediately been able to tell someone’s sex and quite frankly in a meeting you use people's names not pronouns so it’s totally unnecessary.

AIBU to think pronoun announcements sound ridiculous.

If men are unsafe, in men’s spaces, because of the actions of other men, why would that be women’s problem to solve?

Go and tackle the men making other men unsafe.

How do you know what I’ve done? So maybe you can answer, what benefit will letting men into female spaces have for women? How will that keep women safer? How will allowing men into women’s prisons, refuges, hospital wards and changing rooms keep women safer?

I could ask the same. Why aren’t you focused on tackling cis men - who we both know are the actual big problem in terms of violence against women etc - instead of targeting a tiny minority group?

If it’s not cruelty, it’s cowardice. Your ambition is so small.

I am focused tacking ALL men

why are you focusing on men in the construction industry? Why not all men? Why do you hate builders and brickies so much?

seriously, why haven’t you? If TIM are so “unsafe” in male spaces why aren’t stonewall and other trans allies campaigning for men to be kind? There are huge campaigns against VAWG but for some reason men just aren’t listening. It’s like when women say they don’t want men in their spaces but the men just don’t listen. Maybe we should do compulsory hearing tests for every man. What do you think?

@Rollingpinofdoom edit to say this is a response to your post.

I think that turning your attention onto a vulnerable minority because ‘men aren’t listening’ or because solving men’s violence against women is hard work is utter cowardice.

Whereas berating women on line is just so brave!

You personally as well as many other gender critical posters have berated me - a woman - on here loads of times.

Thing is @Canadanianwe aren’t focused on a minority. We want ALL men out of women’s spaces. No man has the right to be there, however the identify.

So off you pop then. You do that, and we’ll concentrate on dealing with protecting women and girls single sex spaces. You seem very focussed on dealing with make violence so this way, everybody gets a job and we all win.

Hyperbolic ad hominem bollocks because you can’t think of a single genuine reason to let men intrude into women’s spaces other than ‘be kind’ AKA be kind to men and fuck women.

I’ve only been asked for my pronouns once and I replied, “I’m female.” I only refer to my sex (I’m not playing along with the idea that it’s allocated at random and we can decide later).

I have colleagues who use “hu” as a pronoun for their students. Short form for “human”.

I don’t think they view it as a “choice”. They (I’m guessing here) consider it simply recognizing what IS and helping other people recognize it too. Not agreeing or disagreeing, just saying.

That must get phenomenally confusing if there's somebody called Hugh present or whom you regularly work/associate with - not to mention very unnerving for poor Hugh himself.

She’s a twat.

Now I know for sure you are taking the piss! Thanks for the laugh. 🤣

I think this is one thing that is conveniently ignored and dismissed by the people advocating for every person being asked or expected to tell everybody their pronouns all the time.

For the vast majority of us English speakers who only ever use pronouns as has been standard for a very long time - he for a male, she for a female, they for an unknown or generic person e.g. 'the customer' - being asked for your pronouns is akin to being asked what sex you are, which is taken as a pointed attempt to insult.

Most women would be grossly offended by somebody facing and looking at them (it's different if it's just an ambiguous name on an email) asking if they're a man; and the majority of men wouldn't want it to be thought that they're a woman. Not that there's anything remotely wrong with being a man or a woman, but the two look distinctly different. There's nothing at all wrong with being a child, but most people over 25 wouldn't want to be asked if they are one.

As far as deliberately giving offence goes, it's not that dissimilar from seeing a woman lovingly breastfeeding a baby and asking her if she's that baby's mother; or being told proudly by a committed long-time married male friend or associate that his wife is pregnant, and asking him if they know who the father is.

So much of this is inevitably going to upset and concern many, many people (it looks suspiciously like it's by design) - but as they aren't the ones being centred and considered remotely important in this, and as long as the tiny minority get their beliefs and fantasies made the entire focus of everybody's attention, apparently that's the sole thing that matters.

Surely nobody genuinely believes that asking an obvious woman or man to state their obvious pronouns is anything other than a vehicle for a handful of people to centre the attention on themselves and say "Well, unlike you, I am different and special!"? Like that boring person who once briefly met the king at a charity event or garden party, and then every single conversation they ever start begins "Have YOU ever met the king?!"

This absolute bollocks makes my toes curl. I have never misgendered anyone, however much they want me to. You are what you are and it's never necessary to annouce it.

I never have and never will refer to perverts in dresses as she/her, or attention-seeking "non-binarys" as they/them.

I'm sure there are still plenty of simpering handmaidens out there willing to make them feel "included", so they will have to be content with that until sanity is restored.

Because cis men are not the ones trying to get it accepted that they have the right to be in spaces set aside for female privacy, fairness and safety. Eg prisons, rape crisis groups, female sport, female changing rooms, female toilets, female positions on boards, and so on.

How mortified would you be when addressing someone like me? I don't have any gender identity. I have a sex, but no sense of gender, never have had, don't want one.

So if the way you speak to or about me is based on a sense of my non existent gender identity, you are imposing something alien and insulting. Very offensive and dehumanising of you (sex is a basic human characteristic, the English language recognises that).

So I hope that imagining me to have a gender would leave you very very mortified. How dare you!

If someone’s pronouns needed updating every few days, and one were expected to play along, I think I’d have to be either restrained by force, or at the very least muted, in any meeting which opened with such a declaration.
No flipping way will I submit to this culture.

Since pronouns have always related to sex, and everyone has a sex whether or not they have supplemented that with a gender identity, sticking with the obvious is the best option.

'Maureen' may have been trying to indicate support for an absent child or loved one with a gender identity, but it was not appropriate to try to coerce other people to join in, any more than it would be to coerce them to join in prayers.

Safer?? Are you suggesting that saying, "He needs to update the spreadsheet" instead of "She needs to update the spreadsheet" puts someone in danger?

It could be Australia.