Don’t put him on the birth certificate

[helpmeplease12345671]

I’m part of a single parent what’s app group and saw a soon to be mum was stating she was going to meet her ex as he wants to co parent. He was absent for a number of months but wants to play a part.

we know that guy is most likely not going to be involved in the life of that child long term etc.

Aibu for agreeing the birth certificate should keep him off it?

Of course he should be on the birth certificate. He’s the child’s father.

If he starts insisting on it she’s better off adding him then letting him take her to court. As if he goes to court for the bc he’ll want a child arrangements order too and that will be annoying

An absent father getting the right to veto any holiday the mum wants to take the child on and blocking her from moving the child school or gp if needed is a stress a single mum doenst meed

He is the father of course he should be on the birth certificate, no matter what the situation with the mum.

Apart from that time he walked out on her and ignored her….. then he washed his hands.

So someone who beats the mum should have parental rights?

Everyone should know who their parents are if it’s possible. Even if one is a dick.

If he really wants to be on the birth certificate then he can apply to the courts for this .

He can get himself added to the birth certificate, if he wants to.

Its a factual document. If the father is known, then he should be on the birth certificate.

No, he can’t.

it’s also a legal document and no it’s not factual. It gives parental rights.

They can do, by seeing the ones which show up.

also sperm donor children don’t. Adopted don’t.

What do you mean? He absolutely can get himself added to the birth certificate.

My dd knows who her father is. Him not being on the birth certificate doesn't change anything. It does however make day to day life for me much easier.

It isn't as easy as just adding him. He actually needs to attend the appointment to register the birth.

My sons dad got himself added through a court order so it is possible

Yes. He should 100% be named as the father. Because he is

I think from a legal perspective he should be named - he is after all the father - who she chose to go through a pregnancy with

that being said I think there needs to be a change in the law somehow that simply being on the birth certificate shouldn’t confer automatic parental rights.

but then again if she is expecting him to pay CMS then yes he should have parental rights

can’t have it both ways

Whatever she does she must not give the baby his surname. It will make her life and the childs life difficult for the next 18yrs.

It's possible but it isn't as easy as some people are suggesting.

If the father is likely to make the mother and child’s life miserable with petty demands about the child’s holidays, school, GP, etc., then no I wouldn’t put him on the birth certificate.

The child can still know him and see him if appropriate, but not having the father named on the birth certificate can give the mother and child protection from controlling behaviour.

But the child is unborn, unless I've misunderstood. He didn't walk out or ignore the child. How a person behaves around the time of conception doesn't affect their rights or ability to parent. Many a woman has gotten pregnant after a drunken one night stand with a stranger, arguably this makes them reckless and irresponsible but none of that matters because they are not parents. Likewise women who get pregnant when cheating. They are given a clean slate at parenting and fathers should too.

What are you talking about? Adopted children still have their birth registered with their birth mother and the birth father if known

An adoption certificate can replace this for legal purposes but the birth is still registered recording the biological parents and the child can access this record when they turn 18.

But he isn’t a sperm donor and his child isn’t adopted.

Adopted children’s birth certificates are the same as everyone else’s.

A woman who has used a sperm donor who is anonymous can’t put the fathered name. It’s not the same as choosing not to.

Yes, it's very easy to get the dad added to the birth certificate - court - done.

I wouldnt but him on the birth certificate but I'd be okay with him applying to the court.

If she wanted to go down this route she shouldn't have told him she was pregnant (obviously there is always the risk he sees her/ the child and puts 2&2 together), but that would have been the more logical path if this is what she wants. But she dif tell him, it didn't go the way she had hoped, and now she wants everything her way.

Contraceptive is also helpful in these situations!

@helpmeplease12345671 the only benefit to adding him is for the child’s sake, I’m guessing it says Father unknown otherwise?

Other than that, unless the parent is involved, then no. Then the single parent has full rights over how and where the child is raised without answering to anyone or seeking permission.