AIBU to feel annoyed about school authorising wedding absences when they make such a noise about attendance when children are ill?

[Crunchyautumnleaf]

My kids secondary school are pretty hot on attendance- lots of messaging around the importance of high attendance, lots of making the kids feel really like they should stay of they go to the first aid room feeling ill. Phone calls whenever a child is off sick.

So I am just really tired confused to learn from friends that the school does seem to always authorise 3 days off to attend a wedding in this country! 2 friends were successful for actual weddings (even though one was only a few hours away) and one person I know just made up a wedding (inc a little AI created invite!) and got the time authorised

I am not one to lie so won't be trying the same, but it does really rankle when there is so much messaging making people feel guilty about genuine illness

Does anybody really feel guilty about genuine illness? If you are ill, you are ill etc. etc.

Neither I nor my kids have ever felt guilty for being genuinely ill, it’s not like it was our fault 🤷🏻‍♀️.
i think a family wedding is a perfectly good reason to be granted an authorised absence.

I get your point but would probably draw the opposite conclusion....

Yes attendance is important but kids should be allowed time off for weddings and genuine illness without feeling guilty.

My kids' school has loads of kids either full of cold or off ill at the moment, and they've had yet another assembly about attendance and that they should try not to be off. I think this is the wrong message to send - yes go in if you have a sniffle, but if you're streaming with cold or feel terrible then you should be at home resting (and not spreading it). I have said this to my kids!

Surely this just incentivises people to have term time weddings (real or fabricated). If I wanted school age family at a wedding I wouldn't have it mid week in term time

English education has lost the plot of all of this.

We don’t have any of this nonsense on Scotland. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

If They’re ill, keep them off.

It’s a close wedding then keep them off for the day.

Yes I am struggling to see why 3 days would be granted as the default when it's only a few hours away

So what if it does? The vast majority of children aren’t going to be multiple weddings a year, so is 3 days off really going to cause any harm?

Why does it affect you though?

You’re unreasonable for thinking you have a clue what people have written on their absence request form. Schools are for education not investigating whether someone really has a wedding or not. And the school have to consider individual circumstances.

Because I dislike how it incentivises lying.
And because I hate the way the children are really got at if they go to the first aid room saying they feel ill. They are given a huge lecture and it just seems like totally the wrong priorities.

No one is going to have a cheaper term time wedding expressly hoping their guests will take their child out of school.

The children being able to attend will be purely incidental.

Why does it matter if time off is authorised or not? If they're ill, or there's a wedding to attend they'll be off school authorised or not. It doesn't actually matter does it?

They were literally showing us it and laughing at the invite they had made

I doubt it is the schools-they're just following orders. Never met a teacher who wants ill kids in the class.

Someone I know was refused a day off after their uncles wedding (wedding on a Sunday, wanted the Monday off). They were always going to take the day off anyway. In the end, the whole school closed down because of a bit of snow 🙃

Some things don't make sense

When my child went to her granddad's funeral it wasn't near us and we had to stay over for 2 nights so needed 3 days off school. First time I've ever needed authorisation off school by the way. Good attendance, good relationship with school. But they're only authorise 1 day. I think that's pretty poor considering the circumstances

Not sure how it incentivises lying? They could just lie about something else that is approved if they took the wedding option away. Our school allows absences for ‘religious or cultural occasions’ and I would argue a family wedding would fall into one or both of those categories.

That's down to your friend's dishonesty though. It's F all to do with the school. If it wasn't a wedding she'd lie about something else. Yore annoyed with the wrong person here.

I have never known this to be the case. Our LA is the actual wedding day only (even if it’s an over seas wedding) and family weddings only. And still at the heads discretion.

Ours is absolutely manic about getting kids in to school no matter how ill they are. If I send mine in with so much as a headache, 40 minutes later, I get a call to come collect her because her head hurts. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I do resign to go getting her, but I wish they’d just send her back to class and tell her to drink some water. I’ve tried to say no a few times and they weren’t pleased.

It didn't close down because of a "bit of snow". That's not how it works.
If it wasn't a necessary closure eg limited transport, dangerous conditions, then the school would have been fined.

I’d be pleased that the HT is authorising Weddings and travel time. There are plenty that don’t.
regarding the lying Mum, I’d imagine she feels she has to lie in order to avoid a penalty notice or prosecution. Bit silly to go round bragging about it though.

I can’t imagine anyone plans a mid-week term time wedding just to get kids excused from school.

But if they are fine with weddings then why not holidays? I don't see why one is automatically more justifiable than the other