AIBU to feel annoyed about school authorising wedding absences when they make such a noise about attendance when children are ill?

[Crunchyautumnleaf]

My kids secondary school are pretty hot on attendance- lots of messaging around the importance of high attendance, lots of making the kids feel really like they should stay of they go to the first aid room feeling ill. Phone calls whenever a child is off sick.

So I am just really tired confused to learn from friends that the school does seem to always authorise 3 days off to attend a wedding in this country! 2 friends were successful for actual weddings (even though one was only a few hours away) and one person I know just made up a wedding (inc a little AI created invite!) and got the time authorised

I am not one to lie so won't be trying the same, but it does really rankle when there is so much messaging making people feel guilty about genuine illness

Just do what you want with your kids within reason and probably not exceeding absence of 10 days a year?

what difference does it make if it’s authorised? I authorise my kids absence, not a teacher I don’t even know 🤷🏻‍♀️

Teachers don't authorise absences.

None of this nonsense in Scotland!

But you're complaining that schools are authorising these absences? So why is the convenience (or lack of) relevant?

England have scored higher than Scotland in the PISA scores. There are probably other factors at play, especially with reading and Maths though.

M dc school don't authorise days off for weddings. They only authorise them for funerals for very close relatives. My dc great grandparents who they saw at least twice a week, usually more apparently didn't count as very close relatives.

guess lots of weddings from a certain set are days long now a days not like it used to be just a Saturday

struggling to see why you are so bothered and how it effects you , they are your kids ar the end of the day , if they are bad they are bad if others want to keep there’s off for weddings or holidays etc then it doesn’t effect anyone else’s kids does it

Yanbu. I just don’t think it’s fair. Why should weddings be authorised but just fancying a holiday that doesn’t cost an arm and a leg is not? They need to have a more consistent/equitable policy. And I can see why people who’ve been pressurised over genuine sickness absence would be annoyed at a child having absence for a wedding authorised.

Exactly. And at least a holiday abroad has all kinds of educational benefits on top of providing great family time
I don't think it's ok for a school to push out lots of strict messaging about attendance and then authorise more than a single day for a wedding.

*affects

Why I am bothered is that mine have on quite a number of occasions been made to feel really bad about missing school due to illness. Or have been talked into going back to class when they feel dreadful because there education is so important.

And also because we would love to take the children abroad but we can't afford the cost of a school holiday break

I got a threatening letter saying I could be liable for £1000 fine from the local educational welfare office for DC2’s poor attendance. DC2 was ill. I kept the school, including the head of year, informed daily. Because it was end of September and DC2 had 7
or 8 days off, their attendance % fell to something like 80%. Was 100% the previous year and all subsequent years.

thanks for the spell check , fortunately I’m not a slave to the system and me and my daughter have just came back from a lovely 10 days in Thailand ,,, you are the parent not the school , they don’t care if your child is bad they only care about how it looks on the school if people want to go on holidays , weddings , trips it’s up to them not the school

They are your kids. Do what you want.

To add. I couldn't give a rats arse if my child's absence is authorised or not. If they don't attend school for weddings, funerals, holidays or sickness, the school can say what they like. I'm in Scotland though, however I'm sick to death of being told what can and can't be done with my own kids.

The wedding is a red herring here.

School pestering pupils and parents for illness based absence is riddicculous and bullying.

I'd rather not set priority between wedding and holidays, just have a personal allowance of X days off per year and act/support if someone is taking too much.

The government should wind their neck in about all occasional absences, whether they are for illness, weddings or holidays. You are being unreasonable for directing your annoyance at fellow parents, not the idiotic MPs who have their kids in private schools, pocket a tonne of our money, and aren’t forced to choose between having a holiday during term time or no holiday at all. If 2 weeks off school over the course of 12 years can ruin a child’s entire future, that’s a problem with the system, not the time off. Stay in your lane and take your kids out of school for a little sneaky break at some point. It will do you all the world of good! Now my daughter is out of the school system, I regret not taking her out more often for quality time together. She can upgrade her qualifications at any point in her life but we will never get that time back.

It unfortunately depends on the school. We didn’t get authorisation for a family wedding. I personally consider it to be an exceptional circumstance, but there we go. I hate the way schools treat absences for illness though. The kids who aren’t too badly affected by an illness go in and give it to the kids who get a high temperature etc. every time they’re ill. And instead of thinking that high levels of illness could be solved with better in-school hygiene policies etc., they just assume people are lying about how sick they are. And they don’t even go easy on the kids that they know have chronic issues.