AIBU to post a note through neighbours door?

[sleeeeeeepy]

We have recently got some new next door neighbours who are a group of uni students. They seem nice enough in passing but we haven’t had much chance to properly speak to them.

Since they moved in 3 nights ago, they have been incredibly noisy in the middle of the night. As in, shouting outside in the garden, banging on the internal walls etc. Last night at 4am one of them did a blood curdling scream!

It’s partially an issue as its terraced houses, so it’s hard to know where a noise is coming from sometimes. Every night it’s woken me up I’ve panicked there’s someone in my house and had to get up to check to realise it’s coming from them!

It’s also just (obviously) very annoying!! We both work full time and I leave for work at 8am, so being disturbed sleeping has a massive impact on my day. I’m a bad sleeper at the best of times and really struggle to get back to sleep after being woken.

I’d like to stress this isn’t normal terraced houses neighbourly noise, it’s very very loud boys messing about and being very disturbing! We’ve had students next door before and not been disturbed like this.

I want to put a note through the door on the basis that they may not realise they’re disturbing us and therefore can’t try and be quieter. DH thinks that will aggregate them and be passive aggressive and that they’ll calm down after freshers.

I don’t mind if they’re noisy occasionally (on a weekend!) as obviously everyone is, but I really can’t cope with another night of no sleep like this.

AIBU to post a note through the door?

My idea was to say along the lines of:

Hi,

Sorry to be awkward but for the last few nights we’ve been woken up by you in the early hours of the morning. We both have to leave for work quite early so it’s really hard to lose out on sleep!

Is there any chance you would be able to try and keep it down overnight during the week? Totally understand you want to have people round but it’s very noisey when you’re all shouting inside as we don’t have the thickest walls!

Thanks,
Neighbours

I had this problem when I was 23-24. I was still in school and also working long hours. The girls that moved in below me said they were quiet. They were not. Screaming at 4am, thumping parties, etc.

At the screaming I stomped down and banged on the door in my red plaid pajamas and said “You need to shut the fuck up.” They looked terrified.

One night they had a party and around 2am I asked if they could turn it down. We had company and they had an early start the next day. They turned it down then back up shortly after.

The next day this girl came upstairs to say “Holly thinks you’re the one that called the police but I told her you’d never do that.” I laughed heartily and said “Oh yes, that was me.”

I think you should tell people nicely a couple of times first then after that, gloves off.

Even if it’s a private rental, most universities have a behaviour code that students are expected to comply with, both on and off campus. I’d speak to the students first, then if that doesn’t work a letter with a copy to the landlord and the university, if that still doesn’t work then environmental health. Please keep a log of the disturbances, as you may need this.

I lived next door to drug dealers for a decade. Noisy. Anti social. If I had sent them a note they would have laughed in my face. They would also have laughed in the face of police. I think a few students making some noise for 3 days isn't a police matter. You can hardly get police to come out in my area when you are a victim of crime

I'm at uni just now and there's no code for making noise away from the uni

I was curious to know because I have no idea what would actually get through to someone who is loud like that.

I think it makes your advice more valid.

Jesus imagine starting with this 🤣 way to make enemies of your next door neighbours, that will end well I’m sure!!

They’re students and probably have no idea how loud they are. Might even be their first time living alone.

There is no reason not to start with a polite note, point out that the sound is travelling at night especially and that you’re just asking them to be aware of their neighbours!

I think this is atrocious behavior. My dc are both students.

DS’s student house is an end of terrace. He is well aware that a family live next door and another family across the little road and has taken care not to create noise and problems. DD is in halls and is woken up at all hours by student noise.

I don’t think it’s ok just because they are students. It’s antisocial, selfish and immature.

In the case of the OP I’d call the landlord, now. Then I’d start calling every time I was woken up.

The police did and do handle complaints like this where I lived then and now. I know not every place is like that.

We had students move in next door in my last house. Worst year of my life.

Parties till 5am on weeknights and weekends, several friends moving in but not being giving keys so door knocking all night, so incredibly filthy we got mice refugees...

Complained to the university, the landlords, everyone. Nothing helped, with the sole exception being a very large husband that made them a little more willing to turn the noise down at 2.30am on a Tuesday.

Perfectly nice kids, individually. Just totally different lifestyle and completely oblivious to how hellish it was trying to have a 'working parents with small kids' life next door to them.

I wouldn't send this

Bright and breezy and friendly is the way to go, in the first instance

Don't go barging in and alienating them

Focus on what you'd like to happen eg "please be quiet between 11pm and 7pm"

Report to landlord if it continues

Yes. Write the note a man would write, without all the exclamation marks.

That’s disappointing. My old university had (and still has - I’ve just checked) codes of conduct that apply to behaviour both on and off campus.

Yes I'm definitely on the OP's side.

I actually didn't see so much wrong with her note.

I would respond far more considerately to a polite ("pleading" - though I'm not sure it really went that far) and civil note than one that was overbearing or assertive. I never understand on MN why people feel politeness and subtlety are bound to fail.

I was talking about the 'sufficient maturity' note.
The OP's note is much too fawning. The one Cornucopia55 suggests is the best IMO.

I know you were.

But I am just saying I don't think OP's was as bad as people are making out. I have made plenty of requests in that style that have been successful.

I'm a student landlord, and find the vast majority of them are nice kids, they can just be a bit thoughtless at times.

A friendly reminder that not all their neighbours are students usually does the trick. On the rare occasion that doesn't work, see if their uni advertises anything about anti social behaviour in private rentals. Ours will send the Uni funded PCSO's round for a word.

I've only had to go that far once, when one little darling asked me if I was aware that "Wednesday night is student night?". Despite me pointing out that means cheap drinks in the Union not terrorising an entire street, he didn't keep it down. Apparently his face was a picture when uniformed officers turned up at the house. FAAFO kiddo.

That's just a waste of officers. Totally.

For goodness sale, you are far too soft. They won’t take you seriously. Bang loudly and hard on their door at 7am. Wake them up. Let them know this level of noise is unacceptable.

give them ONE chance to keep it down then go straight to the landlord.

all this flannel,about wanting to stay of good terms, don’t be a drip, they will be gone again next June.

check with the council to see if the house is registered as an HMO, too.

Same, me and my mates were wee dicks back in the day.

Talking to them face to face is always the best option. Our first flat was in a student area and the first lot we had, we had a quick word and then they apologised and were fine. Actually I would say they were lovely neighbours. Second lot, we tried the nicey nicey route and it didn’t work so we engaged in prolonged tactical warfare and that eventually worked when we sleep deprived them during mid terms. Hopefully yours with be like the first ones OP.

Yes, it is. It’s also easier for them to just ignore a than a nice neighbour in person making a reasonable request.

I disagree. Threatening them without even having the courtesy to ask them nicely (not apologetically) will make them understandably defensive and right away you have poor relations with your neighbours. As a PP said, give them a chance.

Haha love this. Having been a student in a residential area and also worked at a university I can contest the fact that they're mostly nice but thoughtless. When I moved into my 2nd year house the neighbours were thrilled it was 3, rather quiet girls moving in after the years previous. Even more so when we would take them round baked goods we had made. They repaid us by always putting out bins in and out and helping with the gardening. They were an older couple and just lovely.

Absolutely agree about contacting the uni (after speaking to the students first). They do like to keep on good terms with local residents and will hopefully work with you to quash any anti social behaviour if it escalates.

I would develop a sudden interest in death metal especially on a weekend when they fancy a lie in .

If anyone is interested they were much quieter last night (without me doing anything!) I’m hoping this means it was just freshers wildness and they’ll calm down now, but I’m ready to go round and say something if needed

Fingers crossed, @sleeeeeeepy !