AIBU to post a note through neighbours door?

[sleeeeeeepy]

We have recently got some new next door neighbours who are a group of uni students. They seem nice enough in passing but we haven’t had much chance to properly speak to them.

Since they moved in 3 nights ago, they have been incredibly noisy in the middle of the night. As in, shouting outside in the garden, banging on the internal walls etc. Last night at 4am one of them did a blood curdling scream!

It’s partially an issue as its terraced houses, so it’s hard to know where a noise is coming from sometimes. Every night it’s woken me up I’ve panicked there’s someone in my house and had to get up to check to realise it’s coming from them!

It’s also just (obviously) very annoying!! We both work full time and I leave for work at 8am, so being disturbed sleeping has a massive impact on my day. I’m a bad sleeper at the best of times and really struggle to get back to sleep after being woken.

I’d like to stress this isn’t normal terraced houses neighbourly noise, it’s very very loud boys messing about and being very disturbing! We’ve had students next door before and not been disturbed like this.

I want to put a note through the door on the basis that they may not realise they’re disturbing us and therefore can’t try and be quieter. DH thinks that will aggregate them and be passive aggressive and that they’ll calm down after freshers.

I don’t mind if they’re noisy occasionally (on a weekend!) as obviously everyone is, but I really can’t cope with another night of no sleep like this.

AIBU to post a note through the door?

My idea was to say along the lines of:

Hi,

Sorry to be awkward but for the last few nights we’ve been woken up by you in the early hours of the morning. We both have to leave for work quite early so it’s really hard to lose out on sleep!

Is there any chance you would be able to try and keep it down overnight during the week? Totally understand you want to have people round but it’s very noisey when you’re all shouting inside as we don’t have the thickest walls!

Thanks,
Neighbours

I think a friendly note is fine for the first instance. Most teenagers are decent people just often a bit thoughtless without having the life experience being older awards us. I cringe when I think back now to my uni days so how noisy we must have been sometimes.
You can always escalate it in terms of more direct note, knocking etc but a friendly note might just kerb the worst of it. I like @Cornucopia55one.

Sorry but this thread reminds me of this film, just take them a spliff round

Don't post the cringy apology note. Don't welcome them to the street. Don't post anything like the weird 'sufficient maturity' threatening one either.

Just a normal non-weird factual brief note. Hi. Just to let you know your noise has woken us in the night several times. Please keep it down overnight from now on.

If that doesn't work you can get tough!

Id send the letter you wrote removing the first line apology.

But id also go for what @Ellaelle approach. With the amount of drugs going on in students digs now a days a visit from the police at that time will scare the crap out of them.

Where I live it takes an hour for a call to 101 to get answered. Police really have better things to do than going to someones house at 4am asking them to keep noise down

Yeah you wouldn't demand that of a family or group of professional flatmates. 'Near silence'?! I don't think anyone can demand that of anyone when they're located in a separate building!

Yep, the best approach is to make friends with them imo. It's probably just the first few days after being back and they're excited and don't really realise the impact of their behaviour. A nice word or two should suffice to start off with. And also consider that at some point down the road you might want them to help you move a wardrobe or new fridge freezer into your house. Which will be accomplished a heck of a lot easier if you're friends rather than enemies.

They'll only scream with laughter because they are the golden, entitled children, who can do whatever they want to, and the more annoying they are to decent hard working people the funnier it is, and the more special they are,
Get an asbo on their spoiled little backsides, they need to learn to behave like normal decent human beings, or the next time they do a pathetic attention seeking scream phone 999, due to your concerns of a ossible violent assault, that might bring to their attention just how ridiculous and antisocial their behaviour is

I live in a road with loads of student houses. Agree that you shouldn't apologise, but definitely welcome them to the street, then explain the issue, then end with more welcoming noises. If there's a street WhatsApp group, invite them to that with the lure of free stuff being regularly given away etc etc. Classic shit sandwich stuff.

Most student houses calm down and are fine after the first week (although occasionally go out with a bang). Once every two or three years we sadly get one house full of absolutely tossers though.

Practical tip - to find the landlord or letting agent, look on your council's website for the HMO register. All big HMOs, and in some areas, all HMOs, will be on a public register if they're licensed, which should include that detail.

And most universities will have a community liaison or similar whose job it is to step in in situations like this, even with private landlords.

Why are you so bumbling and apologetic? They're the ones in the wrong. I'm not understanding the whole pleading tone.

That said, it is hard. Our next door neighbour is INCREDIBLY noisy. An alcoholic who doesn't work and who has a penchant for very, very loud dance music, and has Sonos speakers all around her house.

My partner has texted her many times to ask her to turn it down, as she never answers her door. She doesn't even have a doorbell. He gets told to fuck off every single time.

Be firm but don't use fancy language as a pp suggested or you WILL get laughed at and probably mocked on social media.

That letter sounds very jolly hockey sticks. If I was a teenager in a party house I’d probably read it, laugh and chuck it away, maybe quieten down for a few nights and then ramp it up again.
you need to be more assertive , student houses are renowned for being noisy, obviously not all students but many of them

You keep saying you don't want to be 'grumpy' I'd be fucking angry and telling them to shut the fuck up or bray on the walls at 6am every morning.

Bloody hell don't send this. Equally don't send the apologetic pleading one first proposed but this one above with the lecture and threats to report is unnecessary and will likely make them roll their eyes/laugh at you.

By all means if you ask them and they continue you could warn them you will have to report etc but there's no need to go in all guns blazing from the off.

They are being silly and thoughtless but it's probably their first year living in a house together and they are excited. Give them chance to correct the level of noise by speaking to them (or writing if they don't answer)

I think face to face at the weekend yourself would be a good option, then you can escalate up to your husband if required later on. Best to nip it in the bud early bu8t I expect they will settle down once they find their feet

That's the issue though, neighbours aren't an authority figure, you're individuals on an equal footing. Unless you think it's a great idea to speak like this to any neighbours, don't speak to the students like this either, you are not in authority over them and they will be unlikely to respond well, as indeed no one else would.

I disagree with some of the factual letters written here- yes they are technically adults but have we all forgotten what it feels like to be a uni student away from home with freedom for the first time? My house would have laughed at such a formal note.

I’d go and knock on and introduce myself- I think actual humans would have been harder to ignore than a letter- but also accept it’s probably going to be noisier for a bit and invest in a white noise machine. In the meantime make a note of dates and times they wake you up incase you need to escalate to the uni or a landlord.

What the hell? You’ve got serious issues! They’re just a bunch of kids. A chat or a note is fine before launching into asbos and cops!

How are people who go to uni spoiled and entitled ?

phoning 999 when you know something isn't a violent assault is utter time wasting behaviour. It takes away resources from people who really do need help

They moved in 3 nights ago. No council would take action at this stage

If I wanted to be passive-aggressive, I'd be VERY noisy getting ready in the morning. Ooops, grilling my bacon caused the smoke alarm to go off. Oh sorry.

Knock on their door and tell then that screaming, banging, and noise in the garden at 4am is unacceptable behaviour.

Do not write a note. Especially not a polite one, don’t be so wet.

Speak to them in person. Even if it is 4 in the morning.

Don’t ask them to be quiet. Tell them to be quiet.

If they want to live on a residential street with working locals then they need to act like it.

If that fails, contact the police, the university and if you can find out the landlord/lettings company- them too.

The police will do zero.

This is a bunch of students who have been in the flat 3 nights. Presumably their first time away from home. Just knock the door and ask them to keep the noise down. Then if they don't that's when you escalate it.

YABU to post a note

YANBU to knock on the door, introduce yourself and have a chat about it