AIBU to post a note through neighbours door?

[sleeeeeeepy]

We have recently got some new next door neighbours who are a group of uni students. They seem nice enough in passing but we haven’t had much chance to properly speak to them.

Since they moved in 3 nights ago, they have been incredibly noisy in the middle of the night. As in, shouting outside in the garden, banging on the internal walls etc. Last night at 4am one of them did a blood curdling scream!

It’s partially an issue as its terraced houses, so it’s hard to know where a noise is coming from sometimes. Every night it’s woken me up I’ve panicked there’s someone in my house and had to get up to check to realise it’s coming from them!

It’s also just (obviously) very annoying!! We both work full time and I leave for work at 8am, so being disturbed sleeping has a massive impact on my day. I’m a bad sleeper at the best of times and really struggle to get back to sleep after being woken.

I’d like to stress this isn’t normal terraced houses neighbourly noise, it’s very very loud boys messing about and being very disturbing! We’ve had students next door before and not been disturbed like this.

I want to put a note through the door on the basis that they may not realise they’re disturbing us and therefore can’t try and be quieter. DH thinks that will aggregate them and be passive aggressive and that they’ll calm down after freshers.

I don’t mind if they’re noisy occasionally (on a weekend!) as obviously everyone is, but I really can’t cope with another night of no sleep like this.

AIBU to post a note through the door?

My idea was to say along the lines of:

Hi,

Sorry to be awkward but for the last few nights we’ve been woken up by you in the early hours of the morning. We both have to leave for work quite early so it’s really hard to lose out on sleep!

Is there any chance you would be able to try and keep it down overnight during the week? Totally understand you want to have people round but it’s very noisey when you’re all shouting inside as we don’t have the thickest walls!

Thanks,
Neighbours

Can’t you just go and knock on the door and talk to them? A letter is passive aggressive.

Your note is far too nice, especially the second paragraph.

I did try and knock yesterday after work but no answer, the only time we seem to be home at the same time is when they’re banging at 4am! I feel like me half awake and annoyed going round is worse 🤣

If that’s the case then maybe add “welcome” and say you did try knocking to chat but no one was home… look forward to meeting at some point etc

otherwise is it likely you’d all be home at the weekend?

Your note is far too apologetic and nice. It needs to just be factual. Be respectful of neighbours and keep the noise down as people need to sleep and work.

agree with this, I'd also change the opening. I would not start with 'sorry to be awkward', because that immediately says you are going to say something you assume they won't like. go straight in with for the last few nights.

I suspect they are just excited to all be together after the long summer break. If they only moved in 3 days ago, I assume lectures will be starting on Monday, and it is likely things will calm down a bit at that point. Give them a chance!
Try and catch one of them over the weekend to have a friendly chat.
If that doesn't work, then try the letter.
If that doesn't work, do you know either the letting agency or the landlord?

Don't start your letter with an apology.

Dear neighbours

You are causing significant noise nuisance in a residential area which is unacceptable. As adults you are supposed to have sufficient maturity and responsibility to function in society without causing distress and upset to your neighbours. If you cannot do this I will be making formal complaints to your University, your Landlord and the Council. It's quite reasonable to have a bit of noise for special occasions and weekend celebrations but on week nights everyone is expected to keep noise to minimum between 11pm and 6am.

Regards
(Your name and address)

Do not write your note anonymously. If it needs saying then don't hide it.

No. That note is far too pleading. You shouldn't be begging them to act responsibly, and shouldn't be apologising for asking, they'll just walk right over you. Try knocking again later in the evening, or write a much more assertive (but polite) note. (Edited to add that Kindly's example above is much better).

Do you know what uni they're attending? If a discussion doesn't work then maybe talk to the uni, though not sure if they'll do anything.

If all attempts fail then put your speakers against the adjoining bedroom wall when you get up and blast a bit of Barry Manilow until you leave for work. They'll soon get the message (joking of course).

Agree better to speak in person - keep knocking.

Your note is far too apologetic. Please keep noise down at night, the walls are thin, youre waking us up.

I would probably wait another week to see if things settle. It could be the kids are very excited about the new environment and haven’t yet settled.

I'd be banging on the walls at 4vin the morning. None of this letter shite!

The whole point of Uni is preparing for the next step. There is no excuse to disturb neighbours at all. They are adults and should be expected to behave as such. Occasional noise is inevitable- but this lot sound entitled and inconsiderate.
That said - I agree that speaking to them in person would be best - not a note.
Maybe a kind of ‘Hi - how are you settling in? …we are used to having student neighbours….not sure whether you’ve realised how thin the walls are but you have actually woken us up several times - which didn’t happen last year…..
Do you know the landlord? Should be easy to find out….

Definitely keep trying to knock on their door and speak to them in person. A note will get you off on totally the wrong footing! Also just to add, we lived in a terraced house once and our neighbour did horrendous intermittent blood curdling screams - turns out she had night terrors! She was really mortified when I eventually saw her (on an unrelated issue) and said she’d been trying to combat it for years and was really embarrassed.

We had noisy students opposite us. This is how it panned out.

A group of us neighbours got together because we were being disturbed at all hours.

We wrote a really nice letter welcoming them to the area and asking them politely to keep it down at night because we had small kids, had to work etc.

The noise continued so one of the blokes in the street went to ask them to keep it down polite.

The noise continues so the same bloke went round and told them very directly to keep it down or we would report them to their landlord.

The noise continued. We took it in turns to go and ring their doorbell and knock loudly on their door repeatedly at 7am on the mornings after they'd made noise. (vindictive, spiteful but ultimately very satisfying).

The noise continued to the extent that one night we filmed them blaring music, shouting and finally launching a microwave from an upstairs window into the street.
We sent the film to their landlord.

The noise stopped.

I think it's fine. You might want to add that you have tried to go round and talk to them but they haven't caught them in

Prob have being sleeping during the daytime

I actually thought the note was well-written.

I think students are more likely to respond to that (ie; a nice op) than a grumpy old fart style note.

Don’t apologise. They’re adults and they’re being unreasonable, nip it in the bud.

You see this is where different perspectives come in. Thinking back to my student days, I reckon we'd have pinned that to the fridge and rocked with laughter over the bit about sufficient maturity.

Your version is too apologetic, but the other one someone wrote about sufficient maturity would’ve had me thinking you were a massive twat.

Speak to them in person, then contact the Landlord and the University

Don't word it like that, you sound apologetic. Be assertive.

Completely agree. We’d have pissed ourselves and ignored any such letter.

Come and talk to us and we’d have been respectful.

Deal with it right away. I've had 5 DCs at uni in the last decade so have seen how quite a few student houses play out. One of my DC spent last year in a flat where this sort of thing, 4am disturbances, went on all year, making it very difficult for her to get to her daily early lectures. Your note should not be apologetic - don't grovel. Eg:
"Hi - welcome to the road! Tried to knock to talk to you directly but no reply. We've been woken by noise in the middle of the night - shouting, banging on walls, a scream at 4am. We appreciate you're settling in to a new term, but this is disturbing people's sleep and making it hard for us to get to work. This is a residential area and standard practice is no noisy activity 11pm - 7am. Please can you keep quiet between these times?
By the way, if you ever need help, eg a parcel taking in or advice on the area, we'd be glad to do what we can.
Cheers,
Sue, Billy and the kids "

If it continues, contact the landlord or agent. It may well be with an agency that deals with lots of student houses. You could call round a few and ask if it's one of theirs.

This.