Teacher pulled my daughter's hair, do I take it further?

[RingsLikeTinnitis]

So yesterday my daughter (14 year old. In year 10 at school) came home and told me the PE teacher pulled her hair. It was a supply teacher and is covering short term because the usual teacher has had surgery. Apparently she was "using my daughter as an example" of why they needed to put their hair up for PE. She had said something along the lines of "what happens if someone goes like this?" And then fully yanked my daughter's hair. It wasn't a gentle pull, it hurt her and she was quite upset about it.

Anyway I was picking her up early at 10 this morning for an appointment so I spoke to someone about it at the same time. The person I spoke to was the safeguarding lead and already knew about the incident because my daughter had reported it to another teacher and a few of the other students had also said something to other teachers too. She said that she will be having a strong word with this supply teacher and my daughter should come straight to her if she has any more concerns/problems with her. She's probably going to be teaching for the next couple of weeks.

Do you think you'd be happy with the schools response to this?

Id want them to change the supply teacher tbh.. in my school we wouldn't have them back at all that's outrageous

Her hair was tied up, to the standards required by their regular teacher.

If you don't know what's wrong with an adult, in a position of care, pulling a child's hair then you may be beyond help.

Wrong though the pulling of your daughter's hair was, a school is inlikely to react positively to a parent intervening in what is an operational matter by asking for her contract to be terminated. The agency employing her might implement their disciplinary procedure. That in turn could have a negative impact on her ability to secure work in the future. Only you can judge if this is a risk worth taking in the circumstances you describe.

A less severe approach would be for you you to speak to the PE teacher yourself, which could be more effective than a colleague doing so. That way, you'd be able to judge whether she had acted out of character and was remorseful, which would be some consolation for DD and you. (I had a successful outcome with my DD when the PSHE teacher set a task which I thought was highly insensitive and spoke to her on the phone.)

If you think the school's response is inadequate, you can follow the school's complaints' procedure, which will be published online. The general approach is escalate to the head, the head has the incident investigated, and reports findings and any further action to the parent. If you are still not satisfied, next stop the governing body, then the MAT (assuming there is one), then the Department for Education. It's all very process-driven and takes months.

Another bloody little snowflake
Ah, I assume you're posting as some sort of parody of a frothing loon? You had me for a second!

"But often girls exaggerate."

This attitude is why girls and later, women, don't report assault.

Girls learn to internalize their feelings after being violated in some way and look inward to self-blame. This continues into adulthood.

No one should ever lay hands on our children to "teach them a lesson."

“Could be considered” and “would ever actually be prosecuted” are quite a way apart!

Not only is there more to assault than just putting hands on someone, but it’s never going to be in the public interest to prosecute this.

I’d make a formal complaint to the head,
following the school’s complaints process. The teacher has attacked a pupil in her care and needs to be disciplined. I’d also report to the LADO and Ofsted. I would not allow my child to attend this woman’s lessons as she is a risk to her. For all the teacher knew, your daughter could have had a neck issue and she’s just made it ten times worse. Teachers never lay hands on pupils, unless in a dire emergency. I’d consider getting a letter from a solicitor drafted too, just for good measure.

Heaven help us! One of the best over-reactions I have ever seen on Mumsnet. How about branding her with a scarlet A while we're at it, and having her flogged in assembly every day for a month.

Other than being assaulted? Are u suggesting only badly behaved children shouldnl be assaulted ? What would have the response had ot been the teacher on the other end of the hair pull? Would she have deserved it if she'd had a bad performance review?

One of the best over-reactions I have ever seen on Mumsnet.
First day?

Yes, pulling hair is absolutely fine. 🙄
Why don't you try that at work and see what happens? 😀

Would u accept this at work

So you wouldn't advocate for or act to protect your dc if they were assaulted by a teacher?

This thread honestly makes me feel like I'm in some sort of parallel world!

The reason we have LADOs is so adult who work with children can be properly reported and investigated if there's a suggestion they've hurt them. I don't think it's at all controversial to suggest a LADO referral when a child alleges a teacher has assaulted them, I'm very certain it will be part of the school's safeguarding policy to do this.

I cannot understand any adult suggesting children should be taught to accept being hurt by adults who should be looking after them!

Wow, I would be very annoyed. I think it’s worth raising with the safeguard lead and head of year and beyond if necessary - it’s not on for the teacher to do anything to cause pain to a student. I would be pushing for an some sort of internal investigation by the senior teachers and for the supply teacher to be reprimanded. They should at the very least apologise to your daughter in the next class and explain why it was wrong to do so.

If her hair was in a pony tail you'd still be able to pull it tho

That's bonkers logic. Its like saying a teacher is ok to nick a child's skin with a potatoe peeler to stop them cutting a finger off with a knife.

The safeguarding advise is clear you do not touch the pupils at all unless absolutely necessary. Even when they cry its just a brief touch to the back or arm to show you understand.

Why not just follow KCSIE? Why is everyone always so keen to ignore the legal obligations around children?

Its ok as if it was for real she'd be scalped.
Its ok to lift her skirt as it could have been a phone.
Just why??????

@RingsLikeTinnitis

please have a read

assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/5a819959ed915d74e6233224/Use_of_reasonable_force_advice_Reviewed_July_2015.pdf

Leave it.

Advocating for my DD includes a proportionate response to whatever has happened. Without proportion, everything becomes a crisis, and there's no recourse when there really is a crsis. In my response to OP, I've said clearly that I would want to talk to the PE teacher myself, so I could gain a better understanding of what had happened, based on having done so myself for my DD.

It's a massive escalation based on an incomplete account to go straight to LADO and Ofsted without understanding properly what happened and, possibly, following the school's complaints procedure. Reporting to the LADO and Ofsted woud be the thing to do if there is evidence of a history of this teacher being physically forceful with pupils. But this incident may be a one-off and the result of, for example, the teacher turning to look at the rest of the class and pulling the DD's hair harder than she intended to and feeling remorse afterwards.

So your dd was told off for failing to put her hair up properly for PE.The teacher demonstrated the reason why her hairstyle was unsafe and I very much doubt yanked it a fraction of how hard it would be yanked if it got caught round something.Your snowflake didnt like being told off and has gone crying to mummy with tall tales!
Do you want your DD injured op or do you want staff to keep them safe?
BTW you have no right to withdraw your child from PE. The school wont let you do this.

Summary, anyone can easily look it up.

Far from it.

Supply teaching is a rotten job.The children cheer when they know they have supply and act like absolute little shits. It is ver possible they wont be able to get another supply teacher and the school, will have to cancel PE classes.

"And then fully yanked my daughter's hair. It wasn't a gentle pull, it hurt her and she was quite upset about it."

Other children independently reported it as well.
The teacher was wrong and per guidelines should be reported.

PE teachers, like music teachers, have valid reasons to touch they work with. I am neither.