AIBU not to lend my sister money for weight loss injections?

[ListenToHer]

My sister has been overweight on and off for about 15 years. She has had times where she eats healthily, exercises and loses weight but then gives up and puts it all back on and more.

She would like to try weight loss injections which I was supportive of when she mentioned, but she has asked if I can lend her some money for them. Looking online this seems to be about £100-£300 per month. She says she could afford about £50 per month but no more.

My husband and I have always said we wouldn’t lend money to anyone again after it causing problems previously and we’d rather not lend her this. My husband thinks she should either save up for a while so she can pay for it or go back to healthy eating and exercise. I also worry that if she has to stay on it for life that we’ll be stuck paying.

AIBU not to help her?

eta, to anyone who has used it, are you staying on it for life? If so, is that a lowere dose so therefore would cost on the lower side?

My husband and I are the family bank it seems. Or at least we were until we had enough and started to say no. Every request has a good rationale - a tax bill, car broken down irretrievably, private health treatment, etc. But nothing ever got paid back and the rest of the family fannied around working only a few days and sometimes hours per week doing the things they were passionate about, whilst we were breaking our backs working long hours to pay for them all.

Why should the OP give her sister her salary for half a day/a day’s work per month (whatever the amount works out as) when the sister could as others have suggested get off her arse and work some extra hours herself to pay for it?

I think if it were me and I could afford it (as you say you can), I’d gift her a set/fixed amount to cover the cost of the meds for 1 year. Lots of people don’t go up to the maximum dose and stay somewhere around 5mg or 7.5mg. A amount of £1000-£1500 would contribute significantly toward that. Make it clear you want to invest in her health and happiness and you’re not offering support beyond the first year but you want to help her to get started.

I’ve lost 4 stone in 18 months on Mounjaro. I’ve been a slower loser as I took short breaks for holidays etc but it has changed my life. I’ve overhauled my eating habits and exercise and I’m certainly going to try coming off the drug slowly and see how I get on. I have 1 more stone to lose but even now, the change in my life, my thinking, everything is wonderful. My BP is normal, I don’t ache any more and I actually like what I see when I look in the mirror.

If I could give that gift to someone I love, I’d do it in a heartbeat.

I get mounjaro for diabetes management from the NHS, has she been to a GP recently to check her blood sugars? That could qualify her for mounjaro on the NHS.

I agree I wouldn't lend money, but I would gift it if I could afford it as there's so many benefits of losing weight and your sister will be so much healthier if she does.

There's no knowing how she will react to it and what dose she will need. I stayed on 2.5 for a year and lost 5 stone so it all depends on what you do alongside it. It's a tool to help you keep it a calorie defecit not an instant fix, add exercise in and there's a possibility you can lose all in the lowest dose.

I've only ever got up to 3.75 and now after 6 stone loss I'm maintaining with the plan to go down again to 2.5 if I can.

Good luck on your decision but from my experience, it's life changing.

She may well not need the highest dose, it depends on the person but I've reached goal only on the lowest three doses of Wegovy - 0.25, 0.5 and 1mg. All of those are 100 a pen from my provider (SwiftDr). That also means that if you click count, you can stretch a 1mg pen for 2 months on 0.5mg or a 0.5 pen for 2 months on 0.25. That works out to 50 a month. So yes, actually, depending on your sister's response it is doable. I don't actually know anyone who has had to go higher than 1mg.

I am planning to maintain on 0.25 or 0.5 (I am just starting that now so working out what works) and that would be 50 a month ongoing.

It would be different if it was a one of payment but its not its a monthly bill how would you react if she asked you to pay her rent or her council tax

Are you rich and wouldn’t miss the money ? If so then I would do it for my sister for her health. I would gift it to her. When and if she gets into a better financial position she could increase her £50 contribution.

This will be a permanent and increasing commitment from you. I would simply say “no”.

Neither a borrower or lender be
you will be paying for ever and a day
she needs to pay for it herself your not a bank

It’s not always that black and white though. When you’re carrying lots of extra weight you the thought of going to the gym or whatever, and the actual effort of doing it can be quite overwhelming and off putting. I was a bit like that. I preferred to hide away and be in denial. Sometimes the inspiration and motivation kicks in further down the line once you have lost a bit of the weight. I am amazed at how much easier it is to walk up a hill weighing five stone less than I did, for example.
I started the WLI 15 months ago. I initially lost the first three stones quite quickly, because I change my eating habits, and then started a fitness campaign. The following two stones have been painfully slow to get off. But I’m now running three days a week, swimming, doing Pilates and lots of walking, so living a much healthier life.
But for WLI haven’t had the usual effect on me - I can eat and eat all day on them, even on the high doses. They don’t work the same for everyone. I have dropped from the top dose back to the bottom dose with no difference in appetite or food noise (both constantly there!). It’s not always a magic tool. And I certainly haven’t cut my shopping bills- I eat tons of fresh fruit and veg, which unfortunately costs a lot more than the chocolate and crisps did. But even though this last remaining stone will not shift, injections or not, I’m certainly living a much healthier lifestyle and hope I can keep at it. I enjoy the exercise now, and my slimmer, toned body. For me, WLI have been a good start/crutch to get me on the right path.. I don’t think they’ll be a lifetime thing for me. (not judging anyone who is staying on then because they work for them, I’m quite envious). They cost too much and don’t do enough to help me to justify it. But now I’m fighting from a lower weight rather than an obese one.

No, you said “she will need the high dose for life” as if it was a fact.

Now you’re saying you’re just speaking from your own experience.

these don’t match up.

if so, what you should have said was “I believe I will need the high dose for life based on my experience, so your sister MIGHT be the same”.

NOT “she will need”

If she cannot afford them then she cannot have them, she cannot assume someone else will pay for them. 50stg per month that she can afford to pay you back would get her a good gym membership and/or get her into a slimming club and give her a focus going forward instead.

Thanks everyone. We have decided to pay off her loan as a gift and that will free up the money she needs to pay for the weight loss treatment herself.

I spent a lot of time overnight reading information on each drug and also a lot of first hand accounts of how life changing it’s been for people for their health and confidence. I’d love it if they could do that for my DS, and by paying off the loan, she gets to feel in control and it’s her money she’s using for the medication, which will hopefully keep her focused on losing. We also feel more comfortable with it being a gift instead of a loan.

Wegovy is cheaper than mounjaro. I’m on the maximum dose and it’s £180 every 4 weeks. However I definitely save that on food and booze (hardly drink at all now), so I’m no worse off.

I hope she appreciates it and that she doesn’t come back for another ‘gift’ in the future

That was a smart idea. Well done.

If you can afford it and want to do it and will be prepared to lose it , ask her to start saving for the first few doses herself and lend it to her after she has managed to take it and start to lose weight . It is a commitment and when she starts paying back she will still have to buy her own and she will need new clothes . If she can’t save the £50 for 4 months then she isn’t going to find it when you are lending the rest to her.

I can’t comment on what you should do or not do for your sister, but I can say that many people, including me, intend to stay on the GLP1 injections long term, as losing the weight is only half the battle, so any financial plan needs to take that possibility into account.

Would be interested to know if she actually does get the treatment.

Nope. If she wants it that much she can earn and save for it herself. The additional effort she puts in will also stand her in good stead for keeping the weight off afterwards.

Good plan. That’s a kind thing to do ❤️

In my opinion she will need the high dose

Especially if she has really struggled with weight loss and has a high amount to lose

Hth xx

I think that is a lovely thing to do for her and much better than lending her the money for the WLI.

I initially planned to take MJ for a year but as I approach 2 years, I am still on the jabs, although I switched to Wegovy around March/April as it is cheaper. In the few months I have been transitioning I haven't really lost weight although it has slowed on MJ after 18 months. I will shortly be moving up to 7.2mg the highest dose which is around £250 and not much cheaper than high dose MJ. This is my final push to see if I can loose the last 1 - 1.5 stones. I hope to be much closer by the end of the year and would really love to be in the healthy BMI range (my goal). I have lost 4.5 stones and it has been life changing for me. I am so much healthier, move better, feel better etc. I know people are saying your sister could change her eating habits and go to the gym but if it were that easy, no one would be obese. I used to loose 10lb and put on 12lb and over the years my weight gradually went up.

I don't plan to stay on WLI for life and I will taper off when the time comes to stop and do it gradually. Hopefully I will be able to stick to maintenance calories. People generally though respond differently, with some struggling to eat hardly anything. This has not been my experience except right at the beginning and when moving up a dose. At present I am eating normal portions, having a few snacks (not many) and a few glasses of wine each week and as a result am only maintaining my current loss (going up or down the same 3lb). I have a good few days but then have a few glasses of wine at the weekend or a cake and it must be balancing out my week as maintenance calories. I am hoping the switch to high dose will kickstart my losses. When the jabs work they really are incredible for people who struggle to loose as they just remove the food noise and the desire to snack and make you feel fuller with less food. it makes it possible for me to stick to a calorie deficit long term (although I need to track as have always found it easy to go slightly over). Anyone can diet for a few weeks but when you have a lot to loose it feels impossible on your own. I have basically been tracking and eating in a calorie deficit (or more lately trying to) for 23 months. Without the jabs I would have long since given up.

What a lovely gift.

She’ll definitely be getting it. I will hopefully be able to come back at some point with an update that it’s working for her. 🤞