AIBU not to lend my sister money for weight loss injections?

[ListenToHer]

My sister has been overweight on and off for about 15 years. She has had times where she eats healthily, exercises and loses weight but then gives up and puts it all back on and more.

She would like to try weight loss injections which I was supportive of when she mentioned, but she has asked if I can lend her some money for them. Looking online this seems to be about £100-£300 per month. She says she could afford about £50 per month but no more.

My husband and I have always said we wouldn’t lend money to anyone again after it causing problems previously and we’d rather not lend her this. My husband thinks she should either save up for a while so she can pay for it or go back to healthy eating and exercise. I also worry that if she has to stay on it for life that we’ll be stuck paying.

AIBU not to help her?

eta, to anyone who has used it, are you staying on it for life? If so, is that a lowere dose so therefore would cost on the lower side?

I’ve lost 9 stone . Exactly half my body weight. I didn’t lose a thing on the lower doses. So bugger all of 4 weeks each of 2.5, 5, 7.5, So three months no result. Only at 10 did it really kick in. I stayed on 15 for 7 months and then came down to my not losing/not gaining maintenance dose of 7.5.
I will remain on it forever because of what it’s done for my health.

I think you'd be better to decide on a one-off gift of a fixed amount, with no expectation that you'll be getting back any of it. That way, it would be clean. If you believe that this would be of great benefit to your sister, then agree on a single amount to be your personal support of this, and don't expect to get it back. Speaking from a non-British perspective, I'd say be honest with her, about the limitations of financial support you can offer as a gift.

So shes expecting you to pay £250 'a month for an indefinite amount of time.

My friend went on these it was all good, until she stopped. I know they show great promise as axdrug not only for WL. However using then forcWL in my experiencecresuots in WL which stops asxsoon as the medication does. My friend who is obsese just had a gastric band fitted. She did so well on the WL injections until they stopped. As for lendibg the money no. My friend stopped them due to the cost and the weight piling back on she is so brave having the gastric band fitted. I'm not sure I could do it. To me WL injections are a lifelong thing. She will be asking for money all the time.

I am on them and whilst they are life changing, there is no way I would ever ask anyone else to pay/loan me the money. She needs to invest in herself.

my endocrinologist has told me it is a medication I will take for life. The plan is to titrate down to the lowest dose age that I feel I can manage on when the time is right (it is not yet) and maintain at that level. It has been two and a half years for me, and they are not a magic wand but they definitely are a great tool.

Op it reads like you want to pay and rhe issue is your husband doesn’t wish to.

id start her on rhe cheapest meds, so the pills. The wegovy tablet is more effective than the foundayo one, but the latter is easier to take.

rhere is no guessing what does she will need , or which med will work, and she may need rhe highest dose of the most expensive one. Once you’ve started down this road, what do you do, say sorry that doesn’t work, I won’t buy the next dose uo or the more expensive med?

and for many yes it’s life time, yes many of us can reduce our dose, I’m in 5mg of mounjaro, but some maintain on 10 or 15,

the reality is paying for it ourselves shows our determination to do this,your sister has none of that motivation, and the drugs don’t melt the fat off, you need to diet on them,

as said I wouldn’t do this, but I think you wish to.

I agree I actually saved money at first! My food bill reduced dramatically and I went right off alcohol too.

I agree with the motto of never lending money you can’t afford to lose.

She will have to make savings.

I don't lend money. I give it or don't give it.

Lending is complicated and just causes arguments and problems.

What about foundayo? It’s cheaper than Mounjaro.

as others have said do not pay for your sister as it’s long term. If she can afford £50 she can easily save another £50 at least on food she will not eat over a month. As a pp said use the monj link to compare costs and tell her to change providers when the cost gets higher after the initial special offer runs out.

I wouldn't lend money for this. If your sister has lost weight before, using the usual methods, she can surely do it again?

OP it sounds like your sister is feeling quite negative about herself at the moment and looking at the WLI in desperation and as a last resort. She’s probably thinking she is broken somehow and nothing else is working. I full understand that she isn’t ready to go to the gym. The thing is that weight loss happens when you look at your nutrition and the gym/fitness is secondary to it. I was in her shoes at the beginning of this year and feeling quite deflated. Someone recommended this lady’s podcast and for me it has been life changing. It’s a weight loss podcast but it talks so much about confidence, mindset and the feelings of shame and guilt. It’s all wrapped up into one and it can really impact your life. If she is happy to listen to free advice, I would highly recommend starting this podcast from the beginning. The advice is amazing. It won’t send her to the gym when she is not ready, it starts with taking a ten minute walk. It’s about building habits. Even with WLI you need to build the habits to maintain the weight and healthy lifestyle. She can use this advice as a starting point, no need to to sign up for this lady’s coaching, just listen to the podcast and start taking small steps. I lost 2 stone from March just using the advice on here. Good luck to your sister, it’s a tough way to live with the guilt and the shame.

https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-kellie-fennell-podcast/id1546072609

So she can use your home gym but choses not to. Not motivated to change at all then

The gym is not the key to weightloss it has to come from the diet. I maintain my weightloss on the 5mg Mounjaro which does necessitate some work from my end but is much much easier than going alone. I never went over 10mg so everyone’s different in that regard. It’s such a shame that the prices had to go up so dramatically. In her position I would explore the tablets and start saving. Perhaps a one off gift from you would set her on her way.

I'd absolutely lend my sister money regularly if I was really well off. Especially if it was something for health. But to be honest, if I was very well off and she needed £300 a month she'd get it regardless of what she needed it for (I'd probably draw the line at crack).

It would be different if I was just OK financially and had better uses for the money. You say you can afford it, but you don't say how easily.

WLIs are incredible, life changing drugs. I hope she manages to get them.

In fact ignore the word lend. I mean give.

I wouldn't. Either she saves up or looses weight the normal way.

If you and your husband have agreed no lending then it’s no lending. Paying for someone else’s medication is a big deal. But more importantly it sounds like as a couple you’ve been burnt before. Yanbu to say no (and sister is pretty cheeky to even ask).

Sounds very interesting is there a particular episode you found helpful?

I can only imagine the comments if it was OP posting about her DH wanting to pay for his Dsis WLI. This is family money in the region of £2000-3000 per year. If OP was rich enough not to notice that leaving the account, or could pay it from solo savings then I think she would have mentioned it in her first post.
That money could be used towards pensions, children’s savings or even a pretty decent holiday. She can try the cheaper tablets instead and/or earning some additional income.
I have seen the impact that WLI have had on a couple of severely overweight members of my wider family. I can absolutely see that they work - in the short term - but it also requires a lot of commitment to do it healthily so the small amount of food you do eat should be protein and vegetables and it’s good to commit to an exercise regime as you become more mobile to try and reduce excess skin from the weight loss.

I probably wouldn’t unless I was very wealthy and wouldn’t miss the money at all- in which case gift it rather than loan it.

She can save up and start in around 18months time? Assuming she can cover the full cost once her loan is repaid? It’s not good to be constantly paying off a loan and I wouldn’t want to support another one.
You could kick it down the road - agree to re visit it in a year. At which point she will have saved something towards it herself so you won’t need to be committed for as much/as long.

Firstly has she tried any other weight loss tablets such as orlistat? Orlistat would be within her budget if she gets the generic ones rather than alli?

She has a real cheek asking you to pay 5/6 of the cost and then saying she can start paying it back in 2 years time.

It's not your responsibility to help her lose weight.

It would be a gift not a loan. If you are happy with this or paying for an annual subscription go ahead. But don't expect to see the money come back. What is your limit per annum £1000? £3000? Unlimited?

They are all linked and cover different aspects of weight loss. I’d start from episode one and progress from there.

Ffs…