AIBU not to lend my sister money for weight loss injections?

[ListenToHer]

My sister has been overweight on and off for about 15 years. She has had times where she eats healthily, exercises and loses weight but then gives up and puts it all back on and more.

She would like to try weight loss injections which I was supportive of when she mentioned, but she has asked if I can lend her some money for them. Looking online this seems to be about £100-£300 per month. She says she could afford about £50 per month but no more.

My husband and I have always said we wouldn’t lend money to anyone again after it causing problems previously and we’d rather not lend her this. My husband thinks she should either save up for a while so she can pay for it or go back to healthy eating and exercise. I also worry that if she has to stay on it for life that we’ll be stuck paying.

AIBU not to help her?

eta, to anyone who has used it, are you staying on it for life? If so, is that a lowere dose so therefore would cost on the lower side?

There will be plenty of reasons why when that loan ends, more expenses will creep up which will send her in to the same position. I just wouldn’t risk a monthly commitment to this. I wouldn’t mind a one off, but maintenance is a lot. And WLIs are known to go up in price. DH is on them and because he’s committed to taking them now we swallow the increases. Your sister will also want to do that, but will find a way to play on your heartstrings when she can’t afford beyond what you’re giving her.

Your husband is right. Your sister can lose weight the free way, save up, or get a loan from an organisation she will have to pay back.

She’s already got a loan out for something she couldn’t afford. Now she wants to add another on top. No OP. For both your sakes.

Then she needs to do healthy eating and exercise until the loan is paid off, maybe offer her an annual gym pass for a birthday/Christmas present for her to use for the first year and she uses her £50 each month to pay for the second year

I'm on them and it's been worth every penny, but yeah, I've spent thousands

As PP have said, it needn't cost £300 a month forever - or ever if you're lucky.

As well as options like the new tablets, or the chance you can stay long term on a lower, cheaper dose of Mounjaro, it's also worth bearing in mind some pharmacies are now happy for you to get more doses out of each pen so they last longer and each dose works out cheaper.

And - the patents are expiring - 2028 for Wegovy and 2032 for Mounjaro, after which the cost should come down significantly.

If you lend/give her the money for, eg, the pills now, there's a good chance you'll be gifting her a couple years more good health than she could otherwise afford.

But ultimately, there's absolutely no onus on you to do that if you don't want to.

She won’t go to the gym at the moment as she is embarrassed about her size. It’s a vicious circle. Overeating and being overweight isn’t simple for a lot of people, there is a lot of emotions tied up in it with shame and guilt. A gym pass wouldn't be a sensitive gift for her at the moment.

She could do
some exercise without going to the gym. Walking is free, so are YouTube videos.

It’s very cheeky of her to expect someone else to commit to paying for injections for an unspecified amount of
time when she won’t even commit to doing some mild exercise.

I don’t think you should feel obliged to help her. If you want to, do, but be prepared for it to be a gift rather than a loan as I can’t see how she’d pay you back in the short term.

I wouldn’t lend money for this, if she can’t commit to a healthy lifestyle I wouldn’t trust she’d commit to paying back a debt either.

If you were to agree to pay for them, there would be other costs incurred as a result;

To get the best results, assuming she is currently with a BMI> 35, she would need to;

Maximise protein intake - costs of eating more lean meat, fish, seafood, etc, plus possibly going for collagen and creatine supplements.
Maximise nutrition/vitamins/minerals - costs of Magnesium, Calcium, Vitamin D +K2, multivitamin to cover B vits.
Increase fluid intake - decent insulated water bottle, possibly electrolyte solution if she tends towards feeling faint and getting dehydrated
Prioritise strength - gym membership/equipment, sports wear, supportive footwear
Decent scales for measuring bodyweight (and possibly food, depends upon whether she'll follow CICO)

And, if all goes well, an absolute shitload of money on new clothes, shoes, underwear, socks - literally everything she owns will need to be replaced at least twice in the next year and probably more again in the second one.

There is also the psychological factor affecting success chances - if she's paying her own money, there's an added incentive above that of somebody else paying for it.

She knows how to do it, the medication would maximise her chances of doing it again and maintaining it in the longer term, but none of that means you should pay for it, as she will not ever be able to repay it with all the additional costs incurred as a result.

If she is as large as it sounds in this post, then WLIs really won’t have as fast of an effect as she thinks. You don’t just magically stop eating. My DH leads a very busy life and it was hard to find the energy and will to exercise to actually start losing noticeable weight. It took just under a year with no real lifestyle change to get down to a weight that gave him enough energy for a lifestyle change. This isn’t a thing for a few months unless you are 100% in.

Just ignore @yourSUGAMAMA - she has no idea what your sister's long term requirements will be.

I took the jabs for 11 months with only one month at 7.5 before tapering down again. Then I microdosed for 6 months and now just take 2.5 for a few weeks if I feel I need it. I went from 15.5st down to 10st and haven't piled it back on. But everyone's different.

There's no need for that

I speak from my own experience which is why I gave the advice I did

You also have no idea about the long term.

I'm not pretending to.

3 little words
Dont Do It

Yes indeed
I can easily afford them now but back in the like of I’d wanted them would have been like when we wanted a big family
holiday to the US - early morning and evening agency cleaning for 6 months for me at £14 am hour around my full time day job
she can crack on make her own sacrifices - to be fair running around doing a couple
pf cleaning jobs around her normal day job and the weight will drop off anyway!!!

She can wait two years to pay off her loan and then afford to pay for herself. Loaning money caused problems last time and you would be enabling her to keep being in debt.

And neither am I. I am providing an opinion only.

So your husband is basically trying to nudge you into not helping your sister do something about her weight? Has he always been this controlling over your family?

I dunno, I am seeing red flags all over this man. She's your sister for crying out loud.

No way she could be on them for life after all the food noise can start again once you stop taking them

Gyms are full of all shapes and sizes and ages these days
they aren’t like 80s American movies any more!
nobody takes a scrap of notice of each other and fatness is so common now large bodies come and go unnoticed for most people I think.
YouTube workouts at home
nobody watching /judging there ?!

She WILL need the high dose and it WILL likely cost about £300 per month FOR LIFE

That sounds pretty confident to me.

Yes based on my own experience. Please do note that my opinion that it will cost whatever, is just that

I also advise later that it was just in my experience, if you'd bothered to read through the thread before coming at me

Easy - do the early morning and evening cleaning job around a full Time job like I mentioned in the post above a few days a week - I used to make about £380
extra a month
Bam - she can afford the high dose jab and does t need to go cap in hand to anyone !

YANBU. The Wegovy pills are about £60. Steer her in that direction instead of the injections.