My sister, my bed, her ONS

[Laptopfangirl]

I rent a flat in central London. I was away this weekend with work, and my sister asked if she could stay as she wanted to go out with some London friends. Fine. Not the first time.

I got back late last night and basically went straight to bed. This morning I woke up to discover a used condom in my bathroom bin. She brought a man back! She is single, so I can only assume it was a ONS. I have no issue with her having one night stands at all, but for God's sake clean up the mess! The bedsheets haven't been changed, the bin wasn't emptied. There were tissues in there as well which I presumed were just for makeup and regular cleaning but now God knows what else crosses my mind.

And to make it even worse I think (but can't be sure) that the condom was actually mine! Which would have meant them going through my bedside drawer (which also contains cash and God help me my vibrator!!).

I know my sister will consider it harmless but she brought a strange man back to my flat, shagged him, didn't clear up the mess and had me sleep in the same sheets!

Clearly AINBU to be slightly pissed off at this. But what level of anger is reasonable? A text jokingly calling her cheeky, or volcanic fury, or something in between?

@Laptopfangirl
Don't ever let her stay over again
She's knowingly extracting the urine
If you're in Central London especially
She can book a cheap hotel room somewhere can't she??

You knew your sister was coming and you left your vibrator where she might see it ...?

Anyway. Showing some anger is perfectly valid. Nothing wrong with telling her pretty sternly that when you say she can use your flat you mean her, not some randoms (of either sex, shagging her or not) you've never met.

Do you know exactly how much money was there? Any missing? Checked your jewellery box? If any valuables have walked I'd definitely be heading more for "volcanic".

My level of anger at her complete inconsideration and using my home in that way would mean rescinding the invitation and never allowing her to use it again.

My vibrator was in my bedside drawer where it lives.

Nothing is missing that I can see.

I'd message her with an open question - what happened on Saturday then? See if she spills the beans. If she does, then you have to express how that kind of disrespect has made you feel. I'm sure she'll cringe at herself and apologise as most of us would!

If it's the 1st time then you can't go off the handle but you can whack a boundary straight down so it nips it in the bud.

I agree with this. I wouldn't find it funny and I would be angry with her. That's your safe haven and she's brought some random into it without knowing how trustworthy he is. She didn't even change the sheets!

Really grim.
Has she really so little self respect as to leave your bed used like that?
Bloody hell, grim.

I think I’d be messaging her and asking if someone else was in the flat with her on Saturday night, see what she comes back with.

ps, I think this is a totally normal thing to discuss with friends or mumsnetters before launching an angry tirade at your sister.
and most people I know have pubes, albeit well trimmed!

OP, please forgive me as I know this has nothing to do with your story but every time I see your thread title I think of The Thief, His Wife and the Canoe!

Urgh. She really should have washed the sheets. I’d message her and say I’m pissed off and she better not do it again.

I’d feel the same if she’s spilled something on your sheets FWIW - I couldn’t care less that she had a ONS but surely she realises you’d rather not sleep in the bed after so then the logical conclusion is that she thinks you should change the sheets and not her.

Where are you getting "urine" from?

Oh vom! That almost feels worse!

She didn’t say she was having friends over. She said she was going OUT with friends.

I like this. See what she says. Then tell her your rules. Or key back!

Means taking the piss. Taking advantage.

I've just hurt my face raising my eyebrow so high. She might have used your vibrator being offered as a better option?

Okay...

Yanbu. A stranger in your house. I wouldn't allow her ever to stay in your house without you there again. Also she needs to change your sheets

And unless explicitly told otherwise I'd imagine she could have some of them back to the flat. Which she did.

tell her you set up a camera in the room and the footage is rather interesting, that should wind her up and make her think twice

Am I the only one wondering how closely you were inspecting a used condom to realise it was yours?

But yanbu, having sex in your bed and not changing the sheets is awful. I'd definitely not be letting her stay again.

This
🤮

Presumably it was the empty packet that alerted OP to the same brand …..

There is not much you can do about it, and there isn't any point in making a fuss. All you can reasonably do is not allow her to stay again, don't mention why , but if she complains about not being able to stay tell her why.

I've never seen it put that way. I thought there was some lurid element of the story I was missing 🤣🤣🤣

Similar thing happened to me but (thankfully) a thorough clean-up took place. It really damaged the trust and relationship between us though, because I didn’t find out the truth directly from her. Well she actually straight up lied to me. Something else happened too, which made the situation worse - Think neglect of a previously agreed responsibility to accommodate the unwelcome shagging in my bed.

I would have been incandescent to find physical evidence of a strange man excreting bodily fluids within my home to be honest. The thought of it was bad enough.