to think some people do not deserve to have kids? the mean bastards

[greenladybird]

cannot understand they way some people treat thier own kids.

makes me feel sick.

I think not being a spineless wanker is one of the most important attributes a parent can have.

You know - in order to raise able, responsible adults who make positive contributions to society and lead happy, productive lives. Contrast that with my BIL (and to a lesser extent my dh - who luckily enough married me & I won't stand for any 'poor me' shit). He was raised by over indulgent, over involved (and yes both these are risk factors for mental illness, not just NPD) parent who continuously made excuses for his failings, bailed him out of every difficult (read learning experience) he's encountered and now, at the age of 33 he can't hold down a job for more than 4 months, is bankrupt, has never had a successful relationship, rents a room in a student house and is thousands of pounds in debt to PIL. What has his upbringing taught him? That bad things just happen to him - just bad luck - he has no responsibility for anything & no control over his life. People who are successful or happy are just luckier - nothing to do with hard work

I'm proud not to be a spineless wanker

I guess I just have a MILY then Bumblelion?!

FFS

I hate twaddle like that.

Oh good. I see I wasn't the only one.

.....shall we get some 'Proud not be be a spineless wanker' badges made up?

I think that means we a a MILY or if you add my mum in we are a NAMILY

Family
F - for the love of God be quite!

A- and another thing, young lady......

M- mum is always right

I - I said so...

L - lose your P.E kit again and there's gonna be BIG trouble

Y -Why? Cos I said so and I'm always right.

LOL at the wet lettuce leaf MB!

DH just returned with DS

thebecster: Were you a good boy for Daddy?
DS2: No I was a little sod. Daddy said I was little sod. And I was.
Mrbecster:

Well at least he won't murder us in our beds

... and the funmny thing is that I am agreeing with you - sometimes I do not give my children everything they want but I do try to remember them as individuals, all with their own quirks - and yes, I am also a single parent.

could we have them on those linen shopping bags we had for Mile for Maude - I liked those and quite fancy a "not a spineless wanker" one

PMSL cocolepew!

Can I have a 'Proud not to a spineless wanker sometimes. Consistency stinks!' please?

And Bumbelion - sorry but that was surround-sound full-on barforama. Don't spring that kind of thing on me unawares before I've taken my Gaviscon.

On a serious note... if the op thinks the PE girl's mother was a bitch what on earth does she think of the woman who was jailed last week for starving her 3 year old daughter to death? Now that's a bitch who doesn't deserve children.

Actually reading it back it does sound a bit out of place and I did say it was a bit twee - but I just thought I would add it as I am sure we all sometimes brush aside our little ones (mine are now not so little - youngest 6) and don't give them that little bit of time when they are asking for it (always seems to be at the most inopportune times).

snurk

If my mother hadn't buckled to my pressure to write me pe notes I might not be 2 stone overweight now.

I think it's crueller in the long run to lie for them.

Is it kinder to say yes to another chocolate bar - or is it kinder to say no?

I spoke to someone running parenting courses for the youth offending service - they teach the parents how to deal with their kids. She said one major similarity was that they all seem to think that to be a good parent you have to be liked by your children.

Remember, these are the parents whose children have gone badly off the rails. They have been given a parenting order.

Yes but Bumblelion we don't need to read boaktastic shit like that to see the error of our ways.

Rather than being liked, I think it is more important to be respected. Being liked will come as they get older (I hope).

For me, the most important thing happened recently. Because I am single mum to 3 and youngest has special needs, I always feel that it is my eldest that gets left out (normally through her own choice) - what the younger two would like to does not interest her.

A couple of weeks ago I came home from a late meeting and knocked on my eldest DD's bedroom door as always. I just then opened the door (as always) and as I walked into her room she was sobbing her heart out. Her first boyfriend (been with him for 9 months - lovely lad (not that I think so now)) had dumped her. For me, it was nice that she let me go into her bedroom, sit on her bed with her and she let me hug her and she cried to me and told me all about it. A friend of mine went through the same thing and every time she tried to go into her daughter's bedroom, her daughter shouted and screamed (whilst sobbing) to get out of her room and leave her alone. Having my DD let me into her room and talk to me, made me feel like she could open up to me. When she had said everything she could to me, she then asked me to phone her friend and her friend came round and offered her 'more' comfort (more than I could in the sense that they are the same age).

I seem to have got lost off this thread for some reason and am now warranting good/bad parenting rather than "deserving" children.

ahh colditz so that means that my ex is very very wrong then in telling me he will meet me again when having to deal with ourmy dd1 as a prohibation officer as its single parent families that breed criminal children according to him!!!

i think my ignoring her when she is whining for something is actually good for her now, as is my refusing to be a pack horse and carry her coat around everwhere we go. if she wants it she has to either put it on or carry it herself otherwise she can be cold!!

Me "DS1 can you put this (toilet duck) round the loo"
DS1 "ok"
On going in to the toilet to find toilet duck dripping off the loo seat
Me "for crying out loude DS1 it's not rocket science"
DS1 (age 11 IQ 148) "I know rocket science I can do

ME PERPLEXED LOOK

Bumble, your post reminded me of a friend of my mums who walked into her daughters bedroom to find her doing it doggy style with her boyfriend.
I bet she wished she'd knocked first

Oh my God. Not sure what I would do - my DD is only 15 years, 8 months!

Ah, not long then Bumble