To think DP should make a decision?

[Lookinhin]

My DP is 40 in a fortnight. He still hasn’t made a decision about how he wants to celebrate and it’s driving me wild.

I know he doesn’t want a party or a meal. I’ve asked a couple of times if he wants us to do something on the day, or if he wants to go out with his friends. He still doesn’t know.

I know I am being unreasonable, but it’s two weeks away! I’ve got deposits paid for friends’ 40ths next year. AIBU about how laid back he’s being?

Just say that then, no need to be spiky - I asked a question you could have just replied like a normal person and said: "He does want a cake." Obtuse.

You gave an either or option: If he isn’t doing anything else on his birthday then it will be on his birthday. If he is going out with his friends then it won’t be.

Even if he isn't doing stuff on his birthday then it also doesn't have to be on his birthday.

It’s obvious that a person wouldn’t make a cake for someone who doesn’t want one.

Your second paragraph is quite literally what I posted about. He doesn’t know what he wants to do yet so I still don’t know what I’m doing.

It's also obvious that you should just make your own plans, don't base them around him. He's been given ample opportunity to decide, he's not a child, just do your own thing.

Not in the least, for heaven’s sake!
Just sounds unusual to join someone for 💕 darts at his place with just the two of you, as his very special birthday celebration!
To me it’s more typically a relaxed (and preferably a bit chaotic) team exercise in a boozer, but what do I know of modern romance?
(Before you snap back, I am well aware that dartboards are common in garages, bedrooms, and other domestic locations. As a Martin Amis devotee* I would hardly dismiss it. But that is very much not the point)

*What was I thinking though…Amis’s ‘London Fields’ might well be your inspiration!
“Was the young John Keats a lover of the darts?”

Load of shite. It was just snobbery.

Oh man, you are such hard work. Pfft.

Your bad opinion of me is neither here nor there of course, but I do hope you will soften a little and allow all the sensible advice in your thread to sink in and resolve the original question (which you did after all present as a three-pipe problem.

I don’t care if you’re snobbish about darts, there’s no need to pretend that it was anything other than mockery of a working class pastime.

None of the advice helps because my DP remains undecided. I have just asked him again so we’ll see if there is any update.

And there’s not. Still hasn’t decided.

I think you are being slightly unreasonable on your main point but my god do I feel for you having to deal with people making up stuff to try and make you doubt your relationship, which you presumably know better than people on here.

It's the mumsent disease of trying to create drama for entertainment.

It is. Luckily I’m secure in my relationship so it doesn’t bother me, but it is mad how quickly a lighthearted thread about how frustrating his lack of planning becomes people insisting I should leave him because he doesn’t care.