Swimming parties for little children are the absolute worst kind of party

[Tittie]

I love swimming, whether it’s swimming lengths alone, swimming with the kids, lazing in the pool on holiday. It’s my favourite exercise and I regularly hire the local small, WARM, private pools for family to play. HOWEVER. Swimming parties for younger children are the absolute worst and I think it’s so inconsiderate of parents to organise them. We have been invited to a Y1 age swimming party where parents must also be in the water. It’s so awful on multiple counts and I wish they’d be banned!

1. our leisure centre is freezing. The water is freezing. The air is freezing. You can’t get in and warm up with proper swimming or do lengths or anything because the kids just want to stand in the shallow bit and splash
2. I don’t want to hang out nearly naked with dads I don’t know
3. The leisure centre smells or urine and I don’t want verrucas
4. Many parents feel very uncomfortable standing around awkwardly in swimwear with parents they don’t know
5. Pressure to shave and sort bikini line, lest the other parents bitch about you (I’ve seen that happen)
6. Not all of us have spare adults to go in our place

These parents do swimming parties every year (even when their kid was 3!!) and they get family help so they don’t need to get in. They’re not even ‘making the memories’ with their kids. Party child mum is always beautifully made up, meanwhile we will all look sodden and bare faced, stinking of chlorine.

I have taken the eldest to a Y5(ish) party before, at a shallow pool. We didn’t have to get in, we watched carefully and had nice chats. Marvellous.

Thanks for coming to my ted talk and if you’re thinking of doing this for your kids, don’t. There are hundreds of other possibilities that children and grown ups alike will love. Drop offs preferred 😂

No thanks! 🤣

Of all the hideous things about pool parties I have never thought of shaving anywhere beforehand 🤣

You are not wrong OP, absolutely hate the idea.
We did get invites to a couple of these - one, my DH went in (and I think it was mostly Dad's that did it). The other one, DD was old enough and a strong enough swimmer to go in without a parent. Phew!

Ohhhh...I've been to a couple of these hideous parties. I know exactly what you mean about having to be half naked in front of other parents - I didn't love having to parade around in my cossie either in front of the other mums, let alone the dads! (Even though, like you, I love swimming and pools generally).
However I do like to wear makeup (it's my "armour" and helps with confidence) so I just decided to keep it on, pull my hair up into a high ponytail and tried not to get too splashed....plus I was 10 years younger then and had better legs ha. Hopefully that was the last of those parties you'll have to go to OP! 🙏🏼

why not choose another idea? Guessing because the child wants a swim party, and it's great people do different things?

Why not choose a nicer pool? I can't tell you 😂
Maybe it's price, maybe the public one is closer, who knows

Why not wait a few years until we don’t have to get in?
Probably for that very reason. To make sure parents MUST be in the water, and don't confuse parties with free childcare?

I have to admit, for every party I organised for my kids, I checked with 2 mums of their best friends if said best friends were available that day before booking, I never wasted time thinking if other parents would like or not.

then it's a weird thing to say

t used to make me laugh, because Dad's who I had never seen would be dragged away from their Saturday lie ins

why would you even care if some random dad is taking their kid to a party or not? It's an odd thing to take so personally?

I turned down a similar swimming party invitation many years ago when one of my DC was young.

1. I’m not confident in the water as I can barely swim a width.
2. I was worried about the safety of so many young children in the water.
3. I have a skin condition which is aggravated by chlorine in the pool.

The mother of the party child was irritated when I politely said that we were busy that day. Choose a different type of party and we’d happily be there!

I completely agree with you but there's also no way I would say yes to this sort of party. If my DH wanted to take them in then fine. But there is literally no chance I would do this.

I wouldn’t go. And I don’t go to parties that sound dreadful. We have a similar situation where my DC friend is having a party that my kid doesn’t like (and I dread) so we declined the invite and since they are close we organised for the 2 kids to hang out on a different day where we can also give the gift.

Absolutely this. No way would I be doing this, even if my children begged me.

Just decline the invite. It is dreadful. We got only invited to swimming parties after kids were 8 and they were allowed on their own.

It’s an invitation not a summons. Just don’t go

If you go then the parents will
think everyone is ok about it or even enjoys it so do it again next year. You need to make your mark and say no to save you and everyone else this almighty horror. That’s not sarcasm, it sounds fecking grim.

YANBU
It must surely be a ballache to organise for age ranges when higher ratios and non-swimmers need to be factored in. DS2 wanted one and I always said not until 9, when everyone is 8+ and had swimming lessons at school (it never happened anyway)

I say this as someone with no issue with swimming and splashing around, but OP is right, it is much colder when you're just bobbing around aimlessly rather than moving.

Fortunately we dodged this bullet. I did take my DCs to a couple for an older family member, and that was understandable as the core group of children were a sensible age range. My two hit Covid restrictions at 6-8 and 9-10 around the prime party zone, and that meant that they shifted into smaller group activities from 2022 and the larger party culture had gone from their peers then.

This is madness. Our local leisure centre only recommends them for kids age 8 and up because they don’t need parents in with them. I would not subject parents to standing around in their swim wear 😳

I'd absolutely not go, how cringe!! I would politely decline and treat my child to a different day out or activity so they don't feel they've missed out

I was once asked by a school mum to be one of maybe 2-3 parents who got in the water at her DDs party on the basis I’m a good/regular swimmer. More fool me for agreeing. They had one of those inflatable courses set up and I spent about an hour helping kids on it, fishing out kids who had fallen off it, panicking that someone was under it. All the other parents were stood about drinking tea and chatting whilst I was desperately hoping nobody drowned and wondering if it’s OK to have physical contact with small kids I didn’t really know dressed in their swim suits.

Yuck this sounds awful. But I hate public pools anyway. Most of them are smelly, germ infested, clumps of hair on the floor, others peoples plasters stuck to your feet, outside dirt walked all over the floor urine soaked filth houses.

Number 1 and 3 are a consequence of the contracting out of leisure services.

I guess you dont have to go? Year 1 is ridiculous though!

As the parent of a y1 child I couldn't think of anything worse. My son hasn't even been swimming yet, I was too self conscious when he was a baby and he hated water so I would be really reluctant to go to a swimming party personally, although I wouldn't make my kid miss out, I would probably send with dad so other parents didn't see me in a swimming costume.

Yeah it’d be a hard no from me too, would decide on my behalf of my children that they would not be going 😅

"I am very sorry bit already have plans that weekend, i hope little Jonny has a great party" - that is all

My sister took my daughter in my place when she got invited. I had a newborn so a good excuse

Only a few needed to volunteer to go in!! I hope they got special parent sized goodie bags as thanks!