To struggle to believe this person is being left routinely passing out and unconscious for hours?

[frequentlybaffuckled]

Put it all in to not drip feed.

They do apparently often have Bradycardia. They also clearly are disabled. They have been around medical care and hospitals a lot, and clearly have both health and general anxiety. They eat poorly and self care and MH are not good.
Visibly drained, pale, thin, unwell, low energy, unable to walk without aids.
I feel bad for questioning them at all.

Their life has fallen apart and it's clear general professionals around them aren't really doing a lot partly because the person makes it hard work.

I've been doing lots to get them out of the mess, into better situations and it's been working. Practicality wise we're almost over a huge life changing line.

I'm now hitting a wall both with my own pissed off suspicions that they may feel weak, wobbly and sleep a great deal but are capable of being woken by an alarm, rather than be, literally, as they claim, suddenly collapsing without warning, (always in a bed or chair, never in a public place or in front of friends) at any time, and being literally unconscious for hours.

And, with the fact that is now being used as a reason to not to turn up to important appointments or agreed times to do things for them that they have asked for, which messes up my life.

They are outraged at me proposing they still have to take responsibility and practical answers: IE Wont lend me a shed key so a delivery can happen regardless. But insistent they may be unconscious and expect the delivery driver to return as many times as it takes, and me to come to help, for them to get their goods. (made up example close to realities)
Or I arrive with someone and materials to do a hard five hour job (free) and they aren't there because 'They where unconscious' for the first three hours, so I'll 'have to do a little and come back another day.'
They are claiming this is their disability and I need to recognize I'm discriminating against them if I don't accept it and work around this not yet diagnosed awful condition. They rarely even say sorry. 'As it isn't their fault.'

They have said their conditions are complex and have mentioned neurological, complex, bradycardia, ELS, and it's been confirmed they have over 20 diagnoses. (I question how many might be non serious type)

Would Dr's really be leaving someone living alone, collapsing all over the place and literally unconscious for hours? (they are 'difficult' and the sort of person wards seem very keen not to keep)

Or am I being an ignorant rotten ablest bitch here and need to listen to them and believe and center them?

This!!

decide YOUR limits and stick to them. Thats all you can do without driving yourself into the ground or round the bend.

I am not sure if I am reading this correctly. Apologies if I have it wrong.

If you are asking if a disabled person can be left at home alone with a medical condition that causes extreme sleepiness, weakness or being in a state close to being unconcious then the answer is Yes.

If you are asking if that person could be missing medical care that overlooks some pretty obvious things then the answer is Yes.

Yes, they can be home alone. I wonder where you think that they would be or what would be provided?

A friend who waited 40 years to be diagnosed with a particular disease is in mind when I answer this. I worked with her until she had to give up work.

As if disabled people aren't routinely left to deal with some pretty awful things. Surely they'd do something! Is the cry of the naive.

I don't want to say who they are to me, but they matter, and no I'm not employed.

They are difficult but I've watched them falling down through life until basics like food, bath, roof are no longer givens. I didn't really question the the extremes of it the health before, it was just a thing to work round and I superficially accepted it as presented.

I've sorted a fair bit out, while wondering how can someone with key workers be where they are, and then has come this behavior around appointments that's threatening to put them right back to more misery, and the fact they are behaving the way they are has made me question is this physical health that they can do nothing about but wont make things easier, and they've been ignored, or is it actually a different situation and why they are being allowed to drown by the people who ought to have been doing what I recently have been doing?

I can believe the way they describe their illness. You need to be clear how you will help , and what you need, eg house and shed keys. If they ask for something too onerous just say you don't have the time.

Extreme-sleepiness, or a state close to being unconscious isn't actual unconsciousness though. Ops friend states they are unconscious. Are people left at home in actual states of unconsciousness for hours on end? Apologies if I sound pedantic I'm autistic so extreme sleepiness or a sate close being unconscious is not how I interpret someone being unconscious, I interpret it as literally being unconscious. Maybe others have more casual definitions of it?

I agree with you, I just struggle to think they wouldn't be dragging them into hospital to investigate if they actually where entirely unconscious for long periods regularly, if only to cover their backs with the coroner if the person was later found dead.

@BluebellBeth I've asked for definition, originally assuming they might be using dramatic license, and they're saying totally unconscious unable to defend themselves or know if something was done to them, or be woken by alarm, phone call, or banging on the door.

Unconsciousness is measured on the Glasgow coma scale.

See here for examples and how to assess.
https://www.glasgowcomascale.org/

sleep is a level of unconsciousness but it’s not what most people mean when they say unconscious.

many things (medically) can cause unconsciousness including seizures.

I don't think that the OP is medically trained and the disabled person is trying to explain it to them.

They may not know themselves the correct term and may be saying what it feels like for them. It could be a state that feels like being paralysed or unable to move or they can't hear or respond.

I think unless the actual disabled person explains here (and we can ask them questions) then we won't know exactly what is happening

Unconcious may be the closest term for their state that they know about and that non medics they meet understand and a short hand term when they don't want to use long descriptions.

You can't "drag" someone to the hospital against their will. So unless this person lacks capacity, there is nothing anyone can do. They do have the right to make a bad decision, and a lot of bad decisions. You ask "why they are being allowed to drown by the people who ought to have been doing what I recently have been doing?" - likely for the same reason. The person has capacity to refuse all and every help from the professionals involved and prefer you to provide this help. It means that the "key workers" cannot do anything beyond what this person allows them to do.
No, it doesn't mean that you have to do it. You can also make a decision about your level of involvement.

Yes he could be left alone with those conditions. He could also thrive off attention and/or be a lazy sod so exaggerate his symptoms. Disabled people can lie and exaggerate just like non-disabled people can. The way he has such high expectations of you running around after him makes me question his genuineness.

We don’t ’drag people into hospital’ or take over their lives for priorities which aren’t theirs. Capacity and choice are legal / human rights concepts for a reason. To protect a person’s agency and dignity.

Whilst the persons choices might not make sense to you, their life is theirs to live. Maybe they are exhausted by limited burst interventions that don’t fix the burdens they live with?

Doubting someone’s illness because they don’t comply with your wishes IS the height of ableism.

Check out Self Neglect policies to understand more

Both things can be true. They can be seriously disabled. They can also be a serious arsehole.

The only decision you have to make is how much of either you’re willing and able to cope with.

Would Dr's really be leaving someone living alone, collapsing all over the place and literally unconscious for hours? (they are 'difficult' and the sort of person wards seem very keen not to keep).

Yes.

OP, not sure who you are looking after, but it's ok to take steps back if it's become too much for you or you feel taken advantage of.

No doctor would drag anyone anywhere, why do you think this?

Many patients struggle to advocate for themselves, many GPs struggle to hear what's being expressed.

Are people not allowed to say anything which is remotely questioning, sceptical or critical about anyone who belongs to any minority?

That attitude got multiple people into a lot of bother with the Jason Arday fiasco.

I would say the OP has couched her concerns in very tentative language.

It's been helpful to ask others, if only not to get 'you're obviously being a complete patsy' or 'of course this is a normal situation for lots of conditions -YABU'.

I want the professionals involved to properly support this person, and have been shocked at just how little they've done and how badly what they have done has ended up being for this person.

It's ended up easier to just go and do all the things they've talked about but not done, but I think I may have experienced why they don't seem to be bothering.
Once they get to the waters edge, they don't feel like drinking, (but don't see why the water isn't just still there later)

It isn't that the person doesn't want these things, they desperately do. It's that they are often effectively flaky when it comes to turning up to sign, receive, prevent disaster, etc regardless of if it's a horrible condition ruling their life, MH, or just not having their act together.

Medically they are very much asking for constant referrals etc, definitely not a case of refusing to go, more failing to fit into appointment systems and bewildered entitlement that someone as ill as them should be seen regardless. (It has been repeatedly explained)

@Anyahyacinth My 'choices' they are not complying with, are failing to turn up when we've agreed to be there, to get what they insist they want.
The whole point is we've got past the 'burst interventions' and to the threshold of what they understandably feel is preventing a fuller life.

In my defense I will say the priorities we've worked for are very much their chosen ones.
They just are expecting them to be achieved around what works for them on a daily basis, which means they for instance would expect a landlord to not let out a flat to someone else if they didn't turn up to the appointment as they where unwell, but they will not have cancelled, as they will have been unconscious and therefore unable to.
Me trying to set things up so they will be there whatever, is unreasonable, saying you will loose this flat, when 'it should be being held for them' is me being horrible.

I feel as though I ask this a lot on these sort of threads but are you running out of steam, OP? It is quite all right to say that you are. People who are very unwell (in various ways) will sometimes lean on you more and more because they burn through their other help. There’s a reason that we sometimes talk about “caring for the carer”.

It is very difficult to help someone who won’t help themselves. Realistically, healthcare professionals will set up appointments and do their best to mitigate some problems BUT they are not magic. And, once they have discharged a difficult patient who won’t help themselves, they aren’t dwelling on them - they’ve moved on to the next patient.

You should not be shocked. They often discharge people from hospitals into clearly unsuitable conditions, and sometimes without a diagnosis, even after treatment. They are overwhelmed, the hospitals and bollocked for 'bed-blocking' by the managers - that is why there is a drive to use tablet form antibiotics (not intravenous) for the elderly, even if iv is better - to discharge them asap, i.e.to kick them out. Recently a wheelchair elderly person with IV-only antibiotics option was bullied out of hospital and told to return for drip connections, once a day, for 5 days, under the guise of 'you will get further infections in hospital', such is this pressure on doctors to discharge.

Possibly because as a disabled person my door's been put in by police for less despite no one questing if I was lucid.

But tbh I didn't mean literally dragged, this is a person who wants help.

Ref Collapsed unconscious

Does this person have a council falls alarm, which is monitored 24x7x365 ?
Or private alarm

Does this person have a carer / service dog that can sense when illness will occur ?

There are lots of aids available

So actually, unconscious?

is there a substance abuse issue?

No doesn't want any of them as alarms would interferes with autonomy, couldn't afford, walk, or be responsible for a dog.