AIBU to still regret getting a 2:1 instead of a first?

[onedayillmoveon]

It’s been 10 years since I graduated from university and I still can’t shake off the regret that I got a 2:1 and not a first. I know that a 2:1 is perfectly fine for the vast majority of jobs and nothing to be ashamed of, my more and more people have gotten firsts for the past 20 years or so. When I graduated in 2016, about 33% of humanities graduates from my uni got firsts. I just felt so stupid, incapable, inadequate….. I know people say that grades and numbers can’t define us, but I sort of did let it.

I still can’t shake off this horrible regret that I didn’t get one. I got a high first in my second year and was so pleased, I genuinely loved my subject and had applied myself. In my final year (which largely determines degree class where I went), I became quite depressed and stressed. I could never focus and never really adequately prepared for my exams. I just can’t stop wishing that I had pulled myself together in some way.

Some of you, if you read this far, might think, “well if you have a decent job, nobody gives a damn what degree you got”, and yes, fair. Yet there are certain supposedly ‘elite’ jobs where a first is strongly preferred, and I think not getting one ruined my chances of those.

Anyway, if anyone else has ever felt the same way, or knows someone who does, and wants to share ideas or experiences, maybe that will be helpful.

And here we are again, I did actually clarify that immediately. But I didn’t just mean at Cambridge. Ones cohort moves from school to universities and on into professional life. If I look at the people around me my age in a comparable graduate bracket - red bricks, Oxbridge - I’m still in the middle I’d say.

I don’t think that saying this is so outrageous that it breaks the internet.

It’s not and I’m waiting for @Withoutwings to clarify.

That's a brilliant point to make. Thankfully it's not just mum bias, he is indeed all of those things very lovely & laid-back. Everyone who meets him likes him. I'll pass on the advice about interview, thank you 👏👍.

I got a 2:2 and don’t work in the field my degree is in. Just doing a degree is a great thing. I did it over Covid and it was HARD. I was predicted a first in first year but life took a nose dive. You still did it and should be proud!

I was amazed at the number you quoted. When I got my 1st, 7% of UK grads got one. For that to have shifted to above a quarter rather seems to have devalued them.

In your year 26% of people overall got a 1st, so most did not. It is a classic example of something you cannot change, and thus should let go.

I think this is indicative of something else going on with you, because really, so what if you got a 1st or a 2:1 after 10 years? That part of your journey is done with. I think you need to do some work on embracing the present, or thinking about the future. The past is dead weight.

YANBU - I would also be devastated if I'd have only got a 2:1.

"so what if you got a 1st or 1 2:1? Who checks?"

My current employer only accepts people with a 1st.

Must be a right laugh working there.

10 years after the fact? I work in a highly competitive industry, I'd be looking at what you did with the 10 years, not your university degree.

@onedayillmoveon I say this with kindness and compassion, as many feel similar to yourself

Why are you doing this to yourself?

This is not about the grade. It is likely about your belief that you are defined by academic achievements, success etc. What about getting a 2:1 vs a 1st defines you? What part of you "is" the grade? Its a delusion (not a literal psychotic one).

The fact is you achieved what you could at that moment in time. There were a whole raft of causes and conditions that led to you getting a 2:1. It couldnt have been any other way, or it would have been.

Remember we are all heading to illness, aging, decay, and death. No matter who you are, nothing matters. Because we are all on the same path.

Accept that you got a 2:1. Acknowledge it as it is, rather than endlessly kicking yourself. Bring kindness to yourself, you are a human being.

WM

I got a 2.2 in 1993 and regretted it! I just missed a 2.1 but probably did deserve a 2.2 (a Desmond as we called it then). I didn’t work very hard, so I only have myself to blame. If you’ve done well since then really, it’s not something to worry about.

Firsts are more common now I think because many degree courses need 3 As whereas in the 90s it was def not the case (due to fewer applicants) so calibre of students was different. I think about 6 got a first on my course out of about 80. Def not many, and quite a few 2.2s.

Then he's the golden ticket - although humility is a popular trait atm - so maybe don't tell him that too much!😂

I know what you mean.

I regret not studying and getting just 2 O levels but I've done OK so I don't think about it until people ask me about my qualifications and then I tell them.

Long time ago now but I failed my part 1s and was offered to do a year again and retry.
No way! I wanted to get on with life.
Did my third year and graduated with a pass degree.
No great achievement but I had other things to offer and have had fulfilling work, good friends and a happy life.
A 2:1 would have been a result of my dreams.
I've never used my chemistry degree but It does not define me. What matters is your ability to use it as a springboard and let your current abilities and achievements talk for you

Ultimately no one can talk you out of having regrets. And if you genuinely believe that a 1:1 would have given you a better job or career springboard then that’s a legitimate reason for disappointment.

But now you need to move on. It’s likely that you’re not particularly happy where you are now in terms of job or you wouldn’t be looking back with regret. Maybe a complete career change? As someone who narrowly missed a first you’re obviously extremely capable. Not too late to go and show the world what your capable of rather than moping about some exams from ten years ago.

I felt a bit bad about getting a 2:2 (too much play, not enough work) but then my dad told me that’s what he’d got as well. I now consider it a family tradition to be upheld at all costs.

In the end, it will be your experience and the confidence you exude that will get you the job. Nobody looks at grades. Where you went and what you studied matters more. Lots of people just put down BA or BSc or whatever. It might matter if you are a doctor, I don't know, but certainly not an issue in finance.

It sounds like you were always a high flier and put a lot of store by people being impressed by that. Maybe you are coming to terms with your new career path being more ‘mundane’ than you pictured for yourself? Teachers have a lot of responsibility and are really important public servants but it is a less elite career than becoming a barrister.

I think it’s normal to think fleetingly, what if, but if you are happy in your life it doesn’t
and shouldn’t prey on your mind.

I got a first from a Russel Group Uni and it might have helped my confidence getting my first job but beyond that it was work experience that secured subsequent posts. I haven’t flown particularly high (but never really wanted to) partially down to the fact I am not super confident about my abilities and partly down to being a bit lazy!

How old are you @amigafan2003 ?

I got the highest 2:1 in my year. Missed a first by only a few marks.

It was annoying, but I haven't dwelt on it. I got a first in my Masters which was more important for my career, and that made me feel better about it, but I see you did too.

I had two physics teachers at school. One got a First but was a hopeless teacher. The other got a Third but was truly gifted at teaching. I know someone who bombed their degree and had to resit because they got pneumonia during finals and were hospitalised. Life isn't smooth and you can't say "if I do X then Y is guaranteed".

Your degree is only a tiny part of your talents and journey.

Thinking about my contemporaries, friends with 2:1s and 2:2s have more impressive and lucrative career paths than me. Degree classification really isn’t the be all and end all, I think a lot more comes down to personality and drive.

Yabu.

I got a 2:2. I FAFO at uni - did no work, had too much fun and that was my result. Absolutely does not reflect my smarts and did hold me back when it came to my teaching career - I couldn’t do the degree at the teaching uni I wanted as they wanted 2:1s.

ultimately I had to work harder but I don’t see a grade I got at 20 a measure of my intelligence for life. I was young and too interested in the uni drama, very much living for the moment 😂. I know I’m clever and I’m now considered one of the best and most knowledgable teachers in my school.

tldr - get over it ❤️

I can understand your disappointment if it feels as if you have been inappropriately 'graded' for life. But try not to let your undergrad grade define you. It wouldn't to many recruiters now that you have a distinction for masters and 'double' professional training, I think, in law and as a teacher. What happened to your original interest in an academic career? Perhaps, after a few years' teaching, you might identify an under researched issue at the interface of law and education policy and then be an ideal candidate for a PhD investigating this? I'm saying this as an ex university lecturer who ran admissions for some of the PhDs. We offered places to several whose success at masters level showed what they had been capable of all along, when no longer constrained by whatever situation had affected undergrad. It sounds as if you have acquired a fantastic breadth and depth of education & you will be well placed to help children deal with under performance. I've seen many people with a solid educational background like yours make interesting sideways moves over a long career. You've only just started.

Yeah…. this.

My dad was an academic and taught at a good, red brick university for 35+ years, and he used to say employers preferred a 2:1 as it showed you’d had a social life 🤣
This was 25+ years ago though when Firsts were very rare, I don’t know how it is now.

I got a good 2:1 in 2005 and one of my lecturers said I was possibly on for a First during my final year, so I understand the disappointment a little bit.

It really isn’t anything to dwell on though, like anything else it’s a platform to the next stage in life.

One of my undergraduate cohorts got a third (not the Brightest tool in the box so that was a decent result). Rich girl, public school. She went on to train as a Barrister due to, what she acknowledged, Daddy’s contacts 🤷‍♀️ I got a 2:1 after an enjoyable balanced 3 years. I did work hard, but also played plenty. The two of my cohort who got 1st were obsessed with their academic work. This was 40 years ago though when first class degree were not in the least common. In those days, the broad opinion was that many of those who obtained them had OCD or were neurodivergent. I reached the top in my chosen career and when recruiting (to a clinical role), I paid extra attention to applicants with a first in order to avoid employing someone who wouldn’t work well with patients.

Of course if things have changed and, as you suggest, 1st have become much more common, this may no longer be the case.