Granddaughter’s rage over graduation plans.

[ProfessoressaSazzasez]

A few weeks ago OH (80, frail) & I met up with his daughter-in-law & grandkids to give GK#1 a 21st birthday gift & congratulate her on her law degree. I know she was disappointed to “only” have got a 2:1 but it’s from a very famous university & bloody good.

They have had their struggles: their Dad (my stepson) went AWOL from parenthood ten years ago, they were illegally evicted & homeless.
We are very proud of them.

GK invited us to her graduation (on a Friday), we talked about planning the trip & what she wanted us to wear for the photos, & DiL getting a day of work, GK#2 taking the day off school to be there.
OH & I both understood we were being asked to book the accommodation for the 5 of us & travel together.

So I booked us a flat for 2 nights - Thursday & Friday - & forwarded the confirmation asking when we could go up on the Thursday so I could book train tickets.

No reply.

Left a voicemail in case they’d missed the email.

Emailed again.

Got a scolding reply from GK#1 telling me it’s HER big day and she’s shocked, SHOCKED I booked accommodation (after we both understood we were being asked to, & checking with her whether she’d need it too) & complaining her mum is finding it hard to get time off from work (which I do not think I can be blamed for).

So I have no idea what’s going on.

i replied that of course it’s her big day & up to her who she has there, that she might forgive me if I misunderstood what she wanted, & pointed out that it’s too late to cancel the booking, but she’s welcome to use the accommodation if she wants.

I said if she wanted her granddad there she should let us know.

It’s a trek for us to get there, & not cheap: OH is blind & i cant drive, so the earlier we can book train tickets the better.

Silence since then.

What to do?

Am I unreasonable to feel rather hurt by this?

Glad it's all worked out and your OH had such a lovely time.

So glad it all worked out Op.

It sounds a lovely day.

No worries @ProfessoressaSazzasez 😁

Actually I suppose all I really wondered was if it had been addressed or simply ignored - I'm pleased it was addressed and that there was an apology - something like that can be very unsettling if it comes out of the blue as this did. I'm so happy that it's behind you all and that a happy day all round was the final outcome. 👏

The OP is clearly happy with whatever resolution or accommodations the family reached. She absolutely does not owe MN more details.

@AdeleRochester Definitely no mention whatsoever of 'owing MN more details' in my post or the post I quoted.

by all that entitled and unhinged carry-on, she has all the trimmings of becoming a great lawyer, criminal defence, no doubt

That's such a sweet post, genuinely

I am so pleased that all turned out well. It sounds like it was a very special day for your OH and it is wonderful that you were able to watch proceedings. Like you, I would have accepted the apology and been pleased that previous good relations were restored. You sound like a very caring step grandmother.

There’s definitely no more to this story…

I’ve silently followed this thread OP, delighted for you with this outcome, and I too like a PP have thoroughly enjoyed your writing style; if you don’t already, you should do more!

Thank you for the update. I’m glad you all had a lovely time and I was touched by your OH’s opportunity to enjoy some special seats! You sound bloody brilliant and as someone who grew up without grandparents, I’m so pleased your DGDs have you in their corner.

So pleased to hear this OP.

Aren't you glad you kept your cool and didn't follow all the advice to tell her she was a brat and refuse to go!

I'm glad it was such a lovely day - and a fitting end to her journey there.

I agree. You seem like a very nice balanced person who doesn’t want any drama. Hope you all had a lovely time ❤️

Aww, how lovely, thanks for the happy update. 💖The world and esp mn would be a much more pleasant place if we were a bit more YOU professor. Xx👑

So glad it all worked out ok in the end, OP, and that your DH was able to be there.

He must have been so proud.

I think that if she became a barrister she might take losing hard.

So pleased for you all, OP❤️

I'm so pleased for you and OH and relieved it worked out. I was a bit worried waiting for the update. Sounds like a good day!

(Glad you got an apology though.)

So were we!

Really pleased this worked out - you've been the model grandparent during all of this, understanding that this young lady has had a lot to contend with, giving her grace and not getting drawn into a stand off and not making it about you or taking offence - massive heart emoji (which doesn't seem to be an option for me to put!)

I’m over the moon for you and your OH OP. I love a happy ending and maybe this is a mild learning point for SGD!

So glad you got that all straightened out without drama or this ridiculous cutting off nonsense!

Mistakes happen, misunderstandings happen, sensible people sort them out.

Thanks for the lovely update! Glad the day was fab. Sometimes we all need to have shorter memories and move on a bit quicker. Well done for not turning it into a big drama.
I like to think I'm a better organised and more gracious person than I was at 21 and I'm sure your GD will think the same.

@ProfessoressaSazzasez lovely to hear a happy ending. And also, lovely to hear a forgiving, understanding, reasonable granny who just wants the best for her family

Oh OP you sound so lovely!! I’m so happy it’s resolved and you all had a lovely day. You sound so generous, in both means and spirit, and your GK is very lucky to have such a supportive, expansive, accommodating GP! X

Aren't you pleasant. I will never be the sort of grandmother you clearly are. No wonder so many young people struggle with abandonment if they're called names and cut out the minute they make a mistake.

I'm so pleased it all worked out in the end @ProfessoressaSazzasez .