Aibu feeling uneasy about men taking little girls to the toilet in the womens toilet?

[Fasdmama]

I've seen this a few times and I dont know what is the right thing to do.
So the other week we were at the cinema. I took my daughter to the toilet and as I was waiting for her a man came out of a cubicle with a little girl and went to wash her hands.
It got me thinking.
I feel uncomfortable a man in the womens toilet. I understand how you'd potentially feel uncomfortable taking a daughter into the mens toilets.
And the only other option in this situation was the disabled toilet but morally thats wrong.

I dont know what I feel is right in this situation so wanted to know other people's opinions.
So yabu: its right for a man to take girl into female toilets
Yanbu: he should take her somewhere else...but where?

Another one who thinks men walk around with their cocks out.

If you are the only person in the ladies and a man walks in, feel free to make him welcome. That’s your choice. But plenty of women don’t want him there.

By your logic, men make the mess but women have to deal with the consequences. I suppose we should be used to it by now.

If more men had to take their daughters into the men’s toilets, perhaps they might be a bit more mindful of the state they leave it in

No - what people have said is if the men's toilets are in such an unacceptable state that dads have to choose between either taking their daughter's in there or as an occasional treat they take them into a ladies toilets (if they are cleaner) that logic dictates they take DDs to the clean toilets.
Gingerly opening the door and announcing your presence and reason should be a given.
"Hi sorry a dad coming in with my daughter, the mens is filthy so I'm bringing my daughter in here, happy to wait until you come out" that sort of thing. I can't believe grown women would have a problem with it.

sorry you are rewriting what most people are saying - some people might have said that. Some might even do that

the vast majority haven’t mentioned trying the male loos first and checking their quality. They believe that as a right the sex of the child dictates what toilet they go into. This is becuase of cleanliness and the risk of seeing a male appendage and the risk of them being hurt a

Plenty would. Religious reasons, trauma or just not wanting them in there.

There was a woman on one of these type of threads a few years ago who said she wouldn’t be able to stay if a man came in and it would trigger her PTSD following a very serious assault.

All the ‘logic’ in the world won’t stop someone becoming distressed because a man thinks he has the right to enter a single space

A lot of people have assumed I've said something different to what I have said.
I would say 90% of women wash their hands in the toilets and probably 90% of men don't.
DH feels very uncomfortable going into ladies toilets, but will do so for the comfort of a 3yo. He knocks, announces himself, explains his reasons before entering. He goes into the cubicle, leaves the cubicle to help her wash her hands. He apologises for being in there.
If it's to use the baby changing facilities he is a bit more confident with it as it's that or nothing (and he has changed them on the gents floor).

Gosh your DH sounds like a dose . He could do this exact thing in the men’s without needing to apologise to anybody

Sure and they would feel just as uncomfortable if they were at the bus stop and there was a man there, or walk into any other space where there is just a man there. But one would assume at a bus stop if the man is there with his toddler that they would feel less threatened.
People's triggers are their triggers. Nobody should invade other people's single sex spaces without a decent reason. Taking a small child is absolutely a good reason. Otherwise why would women take boys into the ladies?! Surely if it's females only then little boys shouldn't be allowed in there? Little girls have more of a right to be in there.

You'd really make a 3yo use a dirty toilet?

doesn’t everyone use toilet paper to wipe toilets clean? I was taught when I was younger to lay toilet paper over the seat if needed.

If it's that dirty your dh should hold your dd over it. It is what parents do.

Tell your dh to use some common sense and stay out of women's toilets!

What dirty toilet are you talking about ? I’ve managed with my boys bringing them to public toilets for years. Women’s public loos are often manky . Would i dream of ever walking into the men’s with my boys ? Hell no

It's such a shame then that it's been deleted!

'DH feels very uncomfortable going into ladies toilets, but will do so for the comfort of a 3yo. He knocks, announces himself, explains his reasons before entering'

And so he should feel 'uncomfortable'.

Tell him to use the men's as he is a man. It is the sex of the adult that dictates which one to use, not the toddler. Isn't the penny dropping at all?

I'm not engaging with someone who says things like you'd worry about my husband looking after our kids, but reports when you get called out. Grow up.

One of the arguments for allowing men to bring their kids into ladies toilets is that the men’s are disgusting. So therefore if all toilets are unisex, they’d all be disgusting as men would be using all of them.

As we've established, you are welcome to use whichever toilet you like.

Ah yes the well known antibacterial product known as toilet paper. Hope bleach and church chalices don't hear about it. I can hear the silver shaking.

Men shouldn't go in the ladies, I realise it must be uncomfortable to realise your dh has been pissing women off by doing so just educate him now? Still time to change his ways.

Because women’s toilets are super clean and have absolutely no bacteria or viruses or anything lurking around . Eh yeh . If a dad is that paro he should bring bleach with him

Don't forget the carry potty when you go out love.

God, I'd be absolutely mortified if I'd ever heard my dh had tapped on the door of women's loos announced a man was here and entered even with a dc. Just no.

Did you mean to text your dh that? Good idea well done.

But when women take their little boys into the women's room the women are in the correct room for their sex. Same as when a man takes a little girl into the men's room. A small child of the opposite sex isn't "invading" a single sex space like an adult does.

Oh yes let's educate these hapless men.

For starters wash your hands post toileting. That's it Dads! That's all that is needed but yes maybe a pack of bleach and handgel plus goggles maybe for the post apocalyptic men's rooms may help, lest they have to go bothering women..