Aibu feeling uneasy about men taking little girls to the toilet in the womens toilet?

[Fasdmama]

I've seen this a few times and I dont know what is the right thing to do.
So the other week we were at the cinema. I took my daughter to the toilet and as I was waiting for her a man came out of a cubicle with a little girl and went to wash her hands.
It got me thinking.
I feel uncomfortable a man in the womens toilet. I understand how you'd potentially feel uncomfortable taking a daughter into the mens toilets.
And the only other option in this situation was the disabled toilet but morally thats wrong.

I dont know what I feel is right in this situation so wanted to know other people's opinions.
So yabu: its right for a man to take girl into female toilets
Yanbu: he should take her somewhere else...but where?

Doing the best by kids is using the correct toilets for the adult who is caring for a dc.
Come on this stuff should be obvious.

In your view, would a man who allowed his daughter to wet herself (or caused her health problems by forcing her to hold it in) be more or less “gormless” than a man who uses his agency, checks the women’s toilets are empty, announces he’s there with his daughter, apologises and then goes into a cubicle with her to help her toilet and leaves one minute later?

Presuming, of course, that the men’s toilets are unusable.

The correct way is fathers being allowed to take an active role. They won't get well maintained and clean toilets and baby changing facilities if there isn't the demand for it because the mother is always the default. I can't believe you would take a toddler to use the cubicle in the mens when it's dirty. How awful.

My argument is solely on the condition that the men's toilets aren't in a fit enough state, and DH has walked in with DD and it was in poor enough state that he has, on occasion, felt he should take our 3yo to the ladies.

DH doesn't choose to be in the ladies if he can help it. He's changed our children as babies on the floor of the gents because he didn't want to invade women's spaces by using the only baby changing facilities. Which I told him is absolutely ridiculous so he now changes nappies wherever is available. Thankfully the women he's come across have enough brain cells to work out only the ladies has a baby change and therefore if you have a baby you would use the baby change facilities. To be honest he's always received very supportive reactions, as often fathers do for the bare minimum.

I do not care about gender critics in this argument . I am not talking about trans people this is a different thing and my stance on trans people has nothing to do with this nor was it mentioned ? . A toddler is not an excuse to go to the women’s . If a little girl should not be in the men’s with her dad then little boys should not be either .

He should use a cubicle in the men's. No need for anyone to wet themselves. Why are the men's unusable in your example?

I don't want a man announcing his arrival in the ladies. He shouldn't be in there at all.

Little boys are just as vulnerable in this situation should therefore no children ever go to the men’s toilet

'DH doesn't choose to be in the ladies if he can help it.'

Tell him he can help it by not doing it. Tell him to do better.

Little girls sit to wee, little boys usually stand. Why you can't grasp the difference from a hygiene perspective is astounding. And of course boys have the same genitals as men.
Little boys can and do wee outside with their dads. This isn't so much the case with little girls.

Men don't need to use toddlers as a shield, they will rape school girls in broad daylight.

It's no different to most swimming pool changing rooms which are unisex but are all locked cubicles. It's absolutely the same unless women are weeing in the sinks?!

'It's no different to most swimming pool changing rooms which are unisex'

It is completely different. Unisex are for everyone, ladies are not. Hope that helps, do tell your dh.

When my DD was younger DH always took her into the men's room and said there was never any issue doing so. He would have felt awkward trying to go into the women's with women and girls in there.

Little boys sit to poo . You are clutching at straws . “Astounding “ my eye . My little boy does not have the same bodies as women yet goes to the swimming pool women’s changing room and isn’t remotely traumatised

A lot of men’s toilets do not have toilet seats, for one thing.

What? To you doing better is having a toddler in the toilets which are filthy?! You are very strange.
Thankfully DH has common sense and does what is best for the children. It's the natural instinct for a parent.

It’s not the natural instinct it’s the epitome of ignorance and entitlement is what it is

They are vulnerable because they can’t go to the toilet by themselves, not because they might have to use the men’s.

Little boys can use the urinals. Little girls can’t. Hope that helps.

So you would take a young girl to sit on a filthy toilet purely because you are worried a man might see you washing your hands 😂

Nothing about your view is obvious it me. The only thing that is obvious to me, is that some people are compassionate and can exercise flexibility and have the ability to cope with life events they encounter that don't exactly align with how they feel things should be done. And some people are so rigid and entrenched in their own narrow mindset they are incapable of accepting that not everyone thinks and feels exactly as they do. That they would rather a young child soil themselves whilst they exercised their perceived right to challenge the father from entering the sacred female space. When all he wants to do is take his daughter to the bloody toilet.

Ok so men can bring boys into the women’s to poo then? Is that ok with you

I am hearing it all now

so far I have heard men’s loos have no toilet seats

the men all get their bits out and wave them around to everyone

they purposely pee all over the floor and all over the toilet so no one can sit down.

what are we teaching our kids? The males in my family don’t do that at home. Is this a secret life that boys are taught when away from home?

I am honestly gobsmacked!

I think if a little girl should not be expected to neither should a little boy . If people are fine with men of little girls coming in then all men should be allowed in with any child

If the womens are filthy (as they often are) should adult women scope out the mens to see if it’s cleaner before proceeding with their toddlers

Well that was his decision - currently we don't live in a dictatorship. The individual is allowed to make decisions for themselves.

So any man can just use the female changing room regardless because that is their individual decision?

What is he ignorant of and what entitlement is he exercising?

Presumably women have a stronger bladder than a 3yo? As an adult I would just find somewhere else because I can hold my wee.