Neighbour calls at 8:30 am on Saturday to tell me she is stressed?

[Kate011]

And by neighbour I mean lady in my building two floors above me. Who says hi and stops to make small talk/chat with me sometimes.

I answer phone call at 8:30 am because I think it’s an emergency.

she starts telling me how she’s under a lot of stress right now because she lost her keys?

I ask if she wants me to let her in building, she says no, she’s in her flat, she had spare key to her flat and someone let her in building.

and asks me if Tesco does copies? (Tesco is like 3 minutes away by bus) And where she can get replacement?

I tell her council does replacements as it’s a council building. she then asks how to contact council to get replacement.

She knows I rent privately in this building from private landlord so don’t have contact with council and been living here much, much less than she did? So how would I know?

she lived in building 16 years, how does she not know how to contact the council about lost keys?

and what does she expect me to do?

Or was she expecting me to offer one of our keys while she waits for council key replacement??

She keeps ranting and complaining about how she’s so annoyed.

She has a close couple friend living in the building. They always hang out together.

why not call and tell them this?

she also has a daughter and two 18 year old grandkids who she says are super close to her living nearby.

she told me she has so many friends. Why contact me this early out of all people??

sometime ago I remember she knocked on January 1st on my door asking if my daughter can help connect her to/figure out her problem with her tv. I barely knew her then.

another time she kept complaining how she has no heating nearly all winter and doesn’t know how to complain to the council repair team. And asked if I knew how to. When she asked I suggested she ask her daughter for help she said “oh I don’t want to bother people, they have their own lives and problems” .

but calling at 8:30 on Saturday is bit ridiculous no?

Idk she said her daughter had kids at 13

Rubbish. you believe her?

It’s not impossible. Also why lie about something like this.

Following on from my earlier post, some examples based on what you have written:
Your neighbour who was cross about the parcel ‘I always take in her parcels I just wasn’t home this time’ - this is her expectation, you collect her parcels. She relies on it and now you let her down. A favour becomes a responsibility.
My mums friend called and asked for me to translate a document for her -‘I always do favours for her’ - exactly, this is her expectation. Again, she now feels let down. And rather than just say you can’t, you offer up a solution that will mean she will have to ask someone who will likely tell her where to go. Just don’t suggest a solution, not your circus…etc. ).
Then there is this current neighbour, you have given her lifts before, she felt comfortable enough to ask you for a dodgy loan and you did not make clear her request was unreasonable as many people,would. Im honestly not surprised she feels she can now phone you 8:30 to sort out this new problem for her. I think there are actions you can take not to encourage others.

I'm not up at 830
And OP says she is 45
Neighbour is a cheeky f er

Let me shake your hairy paw!

Then do something sbout it!

I much prefer texting
I can reply in my own time
I find phoning someone imposing
As i don't know how long the call may last
And i might get stuck on the phone call for ages whilst they witter on

She can’t be that young, given you said she had 18 year old grandchildren

45

we are same age

She sounds like she has cognitive deficiencies.

I think it’s strange yes.
But I would be concerned for her if she is elderly. Maybe it does constitute an emergency to her.

You sound younger and on top of life.

I think there’s no reason to be so outraged by it though OP.

Just deal with it kindly in the manner you think best. Eg Quickly Google the council housing dept number and give it to her.

If you can’t help her, then you have every right to say….. I’m really sorry but I cant help you out with day to day council matters.

This
Why should OP spend her day off spoon feeding an adult woman

Op isn't customer service

Why should OP waste her Saturday searching online for the neighbour

She can learn self reliance and do it her chuffing self

I guess she wants me to go without keys instead?

Yep, you don't matter. This is a straight "no, I can't help you" with no further explanation or apology. Do you have a spyhole on your frontdoor? Always check to see if it's her!
You do sound like you attract these CFers - all these people asking you for favours then turning nasty when you say no. It must destroy your faith in human nature. I do hope you haven't lent her/her friends any money as I doubt you'd ever see it again. And as for she doesn't want to bother others as they have busy lives etc. I do hope you came right back at her with "so do I!!" You can't let people like this get away with disrespectful presumptions. Spell it out.
In your position I'd honestly consider moving. There is something about blocks of flats that makes some of the residents think you're all one big happy family just because you share a stairway. Be less available, have a tougher demeanour, block if necessary.

I can’t believe she asked you for thousands of pounds for people you’ve never heard of! I read a thread about someone asking for money for friends in Colombia, was that her? I would block or at least mute this neighbour definitely. I think you need to work on being very “busy” and uncontactable most of the time, then when someone asks a favour you can take ages to reply and tell them no, you’re too busy

That is just too much and exploiting your kindness.

She has family in the building. She needs to take this to them if she can’t or just won’t deal with things herself.

At 8.30 am - I don't even talk my husband and kids at that time

Then block your husband and childrens' numbers if they have a habit of calling you.

If you are 45 you should have learned how not to be a push over.
Some of your behaviour is encouraging other people to behave like this.

If they overstep the mark, what do you do?
Do you make it clear they are overstepping the mark?

I feel worried for you if all you have in your life today is spending hours and hours on social media complaining rather than meeting friends, being with family or just doing something else to take your mind off this women.

Honestly it's not wrth this headspace.

Learn how to create boundaries and be assertive- without being rude.

I think you have a very kind demeaner and lots of people have taken advantage of you. I envisage you have a pleasant face with a smile. As you have found there are a lot of people in this world who a total takers and misers. Please see them as the faulty grabbers that they are but keep your own lovely caring face to the rest of us.

I live in a tower block with sooo many people but we have quite a good sense of community.

Wouldn't be getting mugged off but if another person needed to vent I'd listen or help with a solution I would try help within my means and if I can't I can listen and point them in the right direction. I guess it's all personal choice. :)

I agree with you @DuskyRoses and I think you actually sound quite vulnerable @Kate011 You need to be a lot more careful about having anything at all to do with the type of people you describe. It would be better if you could make a fresh start somewhere else preferably where nobody knows you.I realise that is much easier said than done. 💐

Thank you.