to leave ten year old twins in a cafe while I swim?

[justkeepswimminginalake]

I’m a single parent to ten year old twins and I was hoping to start open water swimming again. There’s a swimming lake near me which has an onsite cafe and I was thinking about leaving the boys in the cafe by themselves while I swim. We’ve been to the cafe a few times and it’s fairly chilled, mostly swimmers (and their friends/families), young families and old people. It’s also next door to the reception area for the swimming lakes so if they feel uncomfortable there’s somewhere else they can go.

Would I be unreasonable to order them breakfast and a drink and leave them there for half an hour while I swim. They’re generally pretty sensible and I’d pack Yotos with headphones, and some games and books for them to entertain themselves. There’s no one else who can take them.

I'd say totally fine, but I'm not in the UK.

Maybe try it once and see how it goes?

And yes, with the travel time, taking them for breakfast sounds easier than leaving them at home.

That’s ridiculous.We had better all stay at home in safe rooms then as they are everywhere.

Whatd their swimming like? Can they come swimming too?

Me either. At 9/10 we were getting bus to school ( public not school bus) . I'm holidays going to library alone and also in the cafe where wasted all out money on a coke float.

And we wonder why young adults have hideous anxiety and people complain they can't do anything. For kids who go to my local local grammar, they have to walk or cycle a mile to the station, taken a train 10 miles and then walk or cycle another mile on the other side. And they could have been 11 and a day in age aka only 2 days beyond 10. I see no reason why they couldn't sit in a cafe for 30 minutes.

They are ten YEARS old!!! Not ten months.

It's the nutters who never teach their children any independence is who's children will ironically be at more risk when they're older as they won't have any experience. You can't just " learn" independence at 16 or 18, you need experience built slowly. And if your 10yo can't be left for 30 mins in a cafe, you're failing at that.

Totally bizarre comments. Maybe it’s another Scotland England thing. I’ve noticed that certain geographical areas seem to be much more cautious than others. I’m in a big city in Scotland and i think 10 is a totally normal age for a kid to be in a café with another kid. If you look in most Costas on a Saturday afternoon, there will be preteens drinking Frappuccinos together! I think it would be fine to leave your kids for half an hour

I’ve been wavering on an Apple Watch for years, so this could be the sign I need to get one. I was planning on giving them a custom ring tone, but if I had an Apple watch that would be ideal. Thanks for the idea.

I’d just leave them at home. My 10 year old has been walking herself home from school for a full year and staying home for an hour alone to wait for me to get home from work.

Even leaving them in the cafe would be fine. But I’d leave them home since you’ll only get funny looks from other people

You'll probably get a lot of "nos" on here but as someone who was roaming around the village I grew up in (along with every other child my age) from the age of 8, I would say they are certainly old enough to be left alone in a cafe. I also remember latch key kids from an even younger age. Yeah sure things could happen, just like always but the risk if minimal especially as they have each other and they might learn how to handle things just like we did back in the day.

Times change though - I suggest you wait a year and then they'll be at secondary school and you can leave them at home then and everyone will be fine with it because they'll be in secondary school age and presumably could be seeing themselves to school.

Edit: I think it's absolutely fine but you might have to deal with others who think not.

Sounds fine to me.

I think the issue is that a cafe feels like giving them to someone else (who hasn't consented) to look after rather than leaving them to fend for themselves briefly while you swim. It probably depends a bit on the cafe though. I can see both sides. If you go ahead, maybe have someone who knows where they are and what the plan is who they could also call if there was a problem. Two sensible boys hanging out togther waiting for you to finish an activity is very reasonable on the face of it, it's just the cafe that throws it. A big faceless community centre or leisure centre would be an easy yes.

For a shorter period of time, yes. And just generally, if there was a choking or heart attack incident 🙄someone could call an ambulance.

We are talking about 10-year-old children, who are vulnerable.

Some of these responses are wild. My just turned 11 year old is home alone whilst I'm at work 2 days a week. She can bake/cook basic foods. Shes been walking to and from school since year 5. Shes been to the park unaccompanied, the cinema, shopping centre and a cafe. If we don't slowly allow our children to build up some independence how are they going to manage as they get older. Shes just started at secondary school where she is getting the bus etc... and getting herself to and from school.
I would personally say its fine.

Some of the replies are baffling. Honestly, I thought you were being OTT for thinking they needed Yoto Players and games!! Just some food/ money and a book to read each or some wordsearches! This time next year they’ll be at secondary, very normal thing to do at their ages

FFS its absolutely fine

Yes I was starting secondary school 2 days after my 11th birth. Ironically I could walk there whereas needed a bus ( which I caught myself) to go to primary

Exactly. No wonder so many kids are in MH crisis if their parents give them no self reliance and put the fear of God in them that sexual predators will snatch them out of public places.

You know your own children, would they sit sensibly or start messing around?

How close are they to 11?

At 11 they will most likely be making their way to secondary school by themselves

Depends on the twins. The outraged reaction is one of the reasons our young people are so stressed and anxious. If they are mature and sensible go for it.

I think the minimum age for swimming is 13 at the lake. One might want to come if I asked, the other would probably put his Oodie on at the very thought of getting in a lake in Britain in autumn.

Not when they are together in a public place like a cafe.

Take time off when they’re at school and go then?