to leave ten year old twins in a cafe while I swim?

[justkeepswimminginalake]

I’m a single parent to ten year old twins and I was hoping to start open water swimming again. There’s a swimming lake near me which has an onsite cafe and I was thinking about leaving the boys in the cafe by themselves while I swim. We’ve been to the cafe a few times and it’s fairly chilled, mostly swimmers (and their friends/families), young families and old people. It’s also next door to the reception area for the swimming lakes so if they feel uncomfortable there’s somewhere else they can go.

Would I be unreasonable to order them breakfast and a drink and leave them there for half an hour while I swim. They’re generally pretty sensible and I’d pack Yotos with headphones, and some games and books for them to entertain themselves. There’s no one else who can take them.

Why not?

There are kids just turned 11 who make their way across London on multiple forms of transport every morning. What do you think happens inside the M25?

I will be in a London cafe tmw & Saturday, I will do a headcount of unaccompanied preteens & report back.

Sounds absolutely fine to me, OP. I'm a bit baffled by some of the responses you've had.

My DD did this ar Costa, ( although was year 7 at the time simply because that's when it first opened) Made sure she sat in the window with her hot chocolate with marshmallows in so the other schoolkids could see she was in there lol

@justkeepswimminginalake maybe you could just hire a child minder for an hour or so whilst you want to swim?

@Photobotmy dc travel to secondary school alone & did from spring yr 6. I don’t understand why it’s either or? plenty of people will be comfortable with their 11 travelling to school but not leaving a 10 yr old in a cafe when swimming.

It wouldn’t be “weird” for the twins it would be devastating
the mother is unhinged to even be considering this

This is when I thank fuck I live in London and parents are sensible and we all allow our 10-11yrs old to gain independence. Walking to the shops for milk, trip to the cafe with a friend, Superdrug for some nail varnish. It all helps foster young adults that can cope in the world.

Those of you who are against ever letting your pre teens out of your sight - surely you’ve seen and heard the news about anxious young adults totally unable to cope with the world and thought….how do I avoid that..

I was asking what the poster thought was so uniquely dangerous about London.

And one of the things that definitely won't happen in a cafe is being hit by a car.

I find some of the replies on this thread bizarre, mine were staying at home in the summer holidays at this age whilst I went to work. They went swimming at our local leisure centre alone from 8yo. Staying in a cafe, I wouldn’t think twice

That’s pretty disturbing that you are a teacher

Unhinged.

Has this word lost all meaning on MN? It would appear so.

I think it’s totally fine, where I live DC go to the library themselves ( mine is 7). Staff are clear they are not responsible for your kid but if they behave appropriately they can stay.

It would be devastating whether they were in the cafe or elsewhere when she drowned though 🤷‍♀️

@Timeforachange26 did you miss the also bit?

But there are plenty of dc in McDonalds, Subways, Greggs etc during the week, particularly on a Friday. Why would it only be a weekend thing?! Does this not happen where you live?

I didn’t claim I could tell a 10 or 11 yr old apart, I don’t see either age group clogging up the cafes.

Yes, strange that some people are absolutely against two 10 year old sitting in a café together but would be okay with them navigating busy roads together.

Strange reaction that you’d send condolences for children preparing for high school being allowed to build independence. Small low risk adventures like this teach so much.. responsibility, appropriate social skills, handling money… and yes, are the starting point for building skills around keeping safe.

Because I recognise local uniforms?! 😆😆

Probably just as (un)likely for a 10 year old to be hit by a car while sitting in a cafe as it is for them to choke on their food 🤣🤣🤣

Why would 10 year olds go to a cafe in their school uniform?

10 year old go into town shopping on a weekend and plan all week what they are going to wear and its never ever their school uniform

Because you think the OP is being unreasonable

My kids don't have anxiety. I didn't let them visit cafes alone when they were 10.

My condolences that it’s a rite of passage to go to Costa, they are crap!

You can prepare for high school without going to Costa…

You know your children and whether they are sensible enough.
Tbh I think this is perfectly reasonable. They are more likely to sit quietly and stay safe in the cafe for 20mins than at home together for an hour or longer. I imagine they'll sit playing games or whatever. And they can look out for each other?

Jesus Christ, some of the responses! Definitely go for it OP!! Your kids will be absolutely fine. I was leaving my then 10 year old alone for half an hour (or more) with no phone. At 10 and a half I was leaving them home with a much younger sibling to mind. Enjoy swimming!!