to leave ten year old twins in a cafe while I swim?

[justkeepswimminginalake]

I’m a single parent to ten year old twins and I was hoping to start open water swimming again. There’s a swimming lake near me which has an onsite cafe and I was thinking about leaving the boys in the cafe by themselves while I swim. We’ve been to the cafe a few times and it’s fairly chilled, mostly swimmers (and their friends/families), young families and old people. It’s also next door to the reception area for the swimming lakes so if they feel uncomfortable there’s somewhere else they can go.

Would I be unreasonable to order them breakfast and a drink and leave them there for half an hour while I swim. They’re generally pretty sensible and I’d pack Yotos with headphones, and some games and books for them to entertain themselves. There’s no one else who can take them.

Actually my older kids used to go swimming themselves at this age with lots of other kids their age at the local swimming pool.

but they can text the op and she can get out of the water, I can't see there is much difference

even my cheap amazon watch can be used for swimming and receiving text message which ping in the water

My mum used to leave me in the library for 45 minutes while she did the food shop. From about age 10. The supermarket and library were at opposite sides of the carpark (Wilmslow, if anyone knows it!)

I say she left me, I used to ask to go so I could read all the Sweet Valley High books while she shopped! Also well before the days of moblies.

Swimming and a cafe feels slightly different but if your kids are responsible and well behaved it might be ok. Swimming seems riskier than shopping in Sainsburys but I guess you never know.

Because if a real risk or parents copying each other I wonder? Besides what's the difference from a Sept born 10 year old in year 5 or an August born year 6 at 10. My brother born 2nd September was 10 before starting year 5. I'd left year 6 and was still 10 ( 31st Aug)

Yes, there’s risk averse, then there’s MN risk averse, which is another level entirely, where 10 year olds can’t be left alone in a cafe in case they choke, or their mother drowns, or it might actually be illegal!

I’m just going to throw a wild guess out there that the OP works. I’m also guessing you don’t!

This thread has a lot of anxious parents on it and has left me with my jaw hitting the floor. A normal 10 year old does not need supervision minute-to-minute. It would be perfectly OK to leave them in the café or watching from any other waiting area. Many Year 6 kids walk home from school alone and go to shops on their own, and I'm sure a few with the funds go to cafés too. My kids have all gone for walks on their own or with friends at that age, gone to the shops, been left home alone. It helps to build independence and confidence.

OP, go for your swim and stop worrying about it. And Mumsnet will give you a weird impression of what the consensus of most people would be. I love Mumsnet for its relationship advice etc, but you do tend to get a disproportionate amount of anxious parenting responses on here.

It isn’t the norm for 10 yr olds to be in cafes alone though, all you need to do is sit in one & you will notice this.

I did this with my nieces aged 7 and 10 when I went to Pilates. The cafe and the studio rooms are next to each other. They had drinks, snacks and their books and it was for an hour. I know the studio space well, I signed a waiver at reception and also got permission from their parents. There was no problem. If it was just one child, probably not, but I think with the two kids it should be okay. They sound as if they are sensible enough.

I have never seen a village of 10-year-olds sitting alone in a cafe. Not once.

Absolutely this.

The over reactions on this thread… about cafe staff having to provide childcare… are utterly unhinged.

They are year six. Ten years old. If you haven’t brought your ten year up to be able to sit and behave in a cafe for 30 mins then they are going to have big problems when they go to high school.

Completely agree’

How would you know if kids are 10 or 11 though

OP is talking about her twins so they wouldn’t be alone

“However, NSPCC local campaigns manager Gail Sayles told Yahoo UK: “Typically many parents start letting their children walk to school independently around nine to 11 years old.”
She also emphasised that “one size doesn’t fit all” and it is important to take into consideration the route your child will take, including busy roads and how long it will take them.”

Fear not, it seems many dc are allowed. to travel to school alone so need to worry about a generation of hermits!

@Timeforachange26I can generally tell, being a teacher helps, years of practice! Also the uniforms often give it away & many schools have different “badges” on their uniform to denote a year group.

I think it sounds a lovely arrangement OP for both you and your boys. If they're sensible and well behaved then I don't see any issues with this.

I am massively protective but I actually think if you think it’s fine then yes it’s absolutely fine. If you know they won’t fight and are happy just to stare a tablets then yes I totally would!

It really is. It’s a rite of passage where I live for year six kids to be allowed to walk to Costa, meet friends for a hot chocolate and walk home.

Some of the replies on this are so strange. Of course it's fine. Honestly think my sensible 7 year old would be fine too (but I wouldn't do it because I know other people wouldn't think it was acceptable).

@BlueFahrenheit it must be location specific, I don’t think my 12 yr old has ever stepped inside a cafe alone. I just don’t think it’s the target market for them.

Also in London and yep, perfectly normal for 10 year olds to be able to have some independence.

My condolences!

At the weekend the kids wear uniform??

Minus that how can you tell one kid of 10 years 11 months and one of 11 years 1 month apart . It's doubtful not matter how much " practice" you have as a teacher

When I was 5 I went to school by myself on the bus with quite a walk either and a road to cross .. zebra crossing.
At 6 I was taking a younger child with me.