to leave ten year old twins in a cafe while I swim?

[justkeepswimminginalake]

I’m a single parent to ten year old twins and I was hoping to start open water swimming again. There’s a swimming lake near me which has an onsite cafe and I was thinking about leaving the boys in the cafe by themselves while I swim. We’ve been to the cafe a few times and it’s fairly chilled, mostly swimmers (and their friends/families), young families and old people. It’s also next door to the reception area for the swimming lakes so if they feel uncomfortable there’s somewhere else they can go.

Would I be unreasonable to order them breakfast and a drink and leave them there for half an hour while I swim. They’re generally pretty sensible and I’d pack Yotos with headphones, and some games and books for them to entertain themselves. There’s no one else who can take them.

I don’t think I’m a better parent, I just have different boundaries. My dc haven’t struggled with independence. I didn’t play out at 10 growing up in Hackney (when it was very different to now), I still knew how to spot a pimp & a dealer at 11. My dc are more sheltered than me but i’m ok with that!

If a child(ren) were out at a park they will encounter strangers. Walking to school or on a bus. Strangers are everywhere. I’d argue a stranger is less likely to try to abduct them in a cafe full of other people.

Ludicrous. Children that age go into cafes by themselves meeting up with friends. 100% not illegal! Unless you’re not in the UK.

I can’t see what the problem is? It’s no different from them going somewhere on their own is it?

So you never went to cafe for a milkshake at 10 or your children? No wonder our high street is dying off and local businesses struggle.

Its just one of those things, I like to think they can come and get me if there is an issue

But - thats a me thing - i dont think that the op is a bad parent for knowing her 10 year olds can cope okay without her for 30 mins

True 🤷‍♀️

I have done the exact same with my children - enjoy your swim and let them enjoy their books and cakes.

‘Safeguarding’ is just a nonsense word by now - having worked in it for donkeys years, I can tell you what it isn’t - carte blanche for not taking a single risk with your kids. Risk assessment skills are really important - how likely is it something will happen and what is the impact. You do your risk assessment, check they’re ok, give them a plan, and have your swim.

As you say, you’ll be in mere minutes when the water drops below 10 deg. Keep in mind once you get out of the water at those temps you’ll be shivering and a bit blank of mind so warn the children beforehand. It’s good for them to see you facing this challenge and to have a bit of independence.

High streets aren’t dying because of a lack of 10 year old customers! 😆😆

Why can't you go swimming at a pool while they are at school?

Provided your ten-year-olds have their heads screwed on I don't see a problem. Make sure they know what to do if something goes wrong, emphasise the need to behave and save the scene-making until you're on hand and just enjoy your swim.

It really is very uncommon indeed after 5.

They're not struggling because ten-year-old children aren't buying milkshakes.

Nonsense.

This thread is an eye opener for me. In our area, we have 3 tier education so kids move to middle school at 9. These 9 year olds get themselves to and from school through the town, using public transport etc.

2 kids sitting quietly in a cafe for 30 minutes is totally safe and normal. What on earth do you think is going to happen to them? The only minor risk would be if they wander off, or there’s an incident in the cafe that leads to evacuation. Provided they know what to do in those situations, there’s no problem at all.

The whole thing about parenting is gradually helping your children become more independent. This is a great opportunity for them to have a little bit, in a safe environment.

Enjoy your swim, OP!

I actually think it would be fine.. around our way kids are expected to walk to and from school from year 5. That’s far more dangerous in my eyes than what you are proposing. As long as they really are sensible tbh if they’re plugged in they probably won’t move. The argument - what if you drown- is utterly ridiculous. That has no bearing at all on whether she leaves her kids to watch or not. The lake will be manned and if she were to drown that would be dealt with by the staff. I’d say go for it and maybe bribe them with a piece of cake afterwards if they behave maturely. Genuinely stunned by the attitude of some here. Enjoy your swim!

Apparently on this thread, minors aren't allowed in a cafe alone 😂.... Anything is possible in the land of MN!

My children spend more then me in the local cafe

I think it’s fine . My 10 year old daughter walks to our local cafe (15 min walk ) with her friends at the weekend . They order a drink and some food , they sit and chat . It’s great for their independence

Illegal? 😂

Presumably they are flush from all that chimney work 🙄

I would consider it if it was close to where I’d be

This thread is mental. My 10 year olds walk home from their tutor. Not far but still, not a safe space like a cafe! What exactly do people think the staff would have to do?wipe their arses?

Tends to be Y6 round here in general.

I'm a single mum too, my DD is almost 13. I have only recently reached the point where i feel i can leave her to go swimming. However, i have signed her up for the same gym/ swimming pool with a junior membership. So we go together. Ten is just a bit too young to leave alone.

They will be absolutely fine. Mine were both walking to school, across a busy main road, by themselves or with friends at that age. They also played out.

Shocked at some of these responses. This is a generation of kids stuck inside, in the back garden or even worse, still having 'playdates' at 10 because their parents still see them as toddlers.

They will be fine for half an hour @justkeepswimminginalake mine would have enjoyed this.

I go for brunch regularly & walk past the high street coffee shops daily. I never see a load of 10 yr olds in them. I see groups of younger teens in Subway, Nando’s, Greg’s, McDs & older teens in cafes.