to leave ten year old twins in a cafe while I swim?

[justkeepswimminginalake]

I’m a single parent to ten year old twins and I was hoping to start open water swimming again. There’s a swimming lake near me which has an onsite cafe and I was thinking about leaving the boys in the cafe by themselves while I swim. We’ve been to the cafe a few times and it’s fairly chilled, mostly swimmers (and their friends/families), young families and old people. It’s also next door to the reception area for the swimming lakes so if they feel uncomfortable there’s somewhere else they can go.

Would I be unreasonable to order them breakfast and a drink and leave them there for half an hour while I swim. They’re generally pretty sensible and I’d pack Yotos with headphones, and some games and books for them to entertain themselves. There’s no one else who can take them.

Yes, I think so. I have a Russian friend who was horrified when she found out the school have an expectation for you to pick the children up until Y6. She was used to walking to and from school at age 5!

they could be a similar age to those in year 7

I had one child born at the end of August and the other Born in November - so one was 11 and 3 days when she started year 7 and the other was 11 and 10 months - so when she was in year 6, she was older than her sister had been for most of year 7

No. But kids who’ve been babied like this at ten are the ones who end up having anxiety issues as teens.

its a lake 25 minutes drive away

100% not - under no circumstances and think it may be illegal

Really? There's 10 /11 year olds go into McDonald's and KFC. Never known any staff " looking after " them

Wow I cannot believe this. There is no entitlement here. Do you seriously think two sensible 10 year olds cannot sit in a cafe by themselves for 30 minutes. They don’t need childcare. The staff do not need to be responsible for them. The independence will be good for them. People are so paranoid something will happen to them or the OP whilst swimming (both unlikely). With society like this, no wonder mental health is deteriorating among young people. It would seem nobody has any confidence in them to do anything right and thinking they need constant supervision. It’s raising young people’s anxiety levels. It’s incredibly unlikely that they’re going to choke, get ill, etc. That’s the same for anyone. It’s more likely that an elderly person in the cafe will fall or have a heart attack or something (more likely but still very unlikely). If anything happened like that then staff and other customers would help you would hope as they would any other customer. There is a possibility they might mess around or argue, but OP knows her children. If she stresses that the swimming is very important to her and she wants them to behave, most children would do so. I cannot see a problem. I would have left my child in this situation when they were 10 as they were sensible at that age. At aged 9-10, I was out on my bike all day with no mobile phone which was the same as all the other children in the area! Also about three miles from home having biked to my friends.

Why illegal? A 10 year old can travel in the bus places, got to parks etc, go in the library etc do why a cafe would be illegal in don't know

I don't think so, I'm in London and this would be a perfectly normal thing to do.

You know your kids. I would try it once, for 15 minutes, and if they were no trouble to themselves or anyone else, I'd absolutely do it. My dcs would have enjoyed it (and they were walking to school at 7 and cycling the 3 mlles at 11, as were most of their peers in the village).

Which law is that then? Interested.

Even if the cafe was right at the edge of a lake I'm not seeing an issue. 10 year olds can keep themselves safe around water surely. We aren't talking about pre schoolers toddling about.

Doesn't mean that it's just to and from school they can walk. How about to the shop library or park

My 10 year old walks to local cafe has an ice cream and walks back. No supervision. I dont think your suggestion is any different. Unless you think they will misbehave it is absolutely fine.

I used to go to our local baths for a swim on my own, when I was seven or eight - ish. Dried myself off after, dressed and walked back home for tea. Times were very different then!

I’m starting to think this thread MUST be a joke. So instead of having one bot make one strange comment, we now have maybe just one person who has cloned 100 different usernames to pretend something normal is not?

The kids ‘should’ be able to do this on their own. However, in this day and age then I would not do it. Too many things could go wrong and even if it didn’t then it would take one person to say ‘where’s your parents’ and they say mums gone swimming in the lake and you have social services being called.

My best friend lives in a village on the edge of a 3mile long lake, the local play park is next to the lake, the kids weren't locked away at home their entire childhoods or subject to adult supervision at all times. They learnt to swim, learnt to behave around water and survived to adulthood.

This thread is absolutely nuts - drowning, choking, illegality- the crazy just keeps coming!

it is absolutely fine, OP. Enjoy your swim.

Based on what?

Tell them to not go near it perhaps??

And if mums a swimmer it's likely to boys swim also. 8 year old DGS has gone his mile swimming cert and lifesaving thing. They aren't toddlers who are likely to wander off and fall in

Even if the cafe was right at the edge of a lake I'm not seeing an issue.

I can't, but the people that run the lake might have an issue

where I swim in a lake, I could leave two ten year old boys in my car parked up. They would be able to see me swimming and I could get out and put my dry robe on and drive home - no one would probably know they were in the car sat in the back ( I don't have twin 10 year old boys, but id have done it with my youngest as she would have just sat and waited)

I don't know how this lake is set up, thus I asked

I used to swim at another lake and that was totally different set up with car park off away from the lake and the cafe was a pop up cafe without seating and children were not allowed without an adult and children couldn't swim

Their made-up statistics 😂

You don’t need anyone’s permission to do this. I love swimming and I’m happy at the very thought of you stepping into the water while your boys gain a bit of independence.

My children used to go to cafes on their own from around the age of 9, sometimes with friends, sometimes together. They loved the independence of choosing their own food/drinks, paying for it, and then making their way back home. Youngest is now 11 and happy to pop to the local shops or hang out with friends at a shopping centre. Isn’t that what developing independence is all about? We live in a big city.

You are not doing anything wrong - far from it. Modelling the importance of exercise and showing your children they are ok when they are apart from you are both v important.

I want to hear about your plans for that Channel swim too. Go for it!

OP some absolutely batshit answers on here from sex offenders kidnapping your kids to you drowning and then needing emergency fostering.

It's two boys having a hot chocolate in a cafe. Kids do this every fucking day all across the country. Absolutely no risk to them or the staff more than day to day living.

It's you having a swim. With a lifeguard. Again no more risk than you getting behind a wheel of a car and driving with your seat belt on.

Just do it and ignore all the cranks on here. Is it a full moon? WTF!