to leave ten year old twins in a cafe while I swim?

[justkeepswimminginalake]

I’m a single parent to ten year old twins and I was hoping to start open water swimming again. There’s a swimming lake near me which has an onsite cafe and I was thinking about leaving the boys in the cafe by themselves while I swim. We’ve been to the cafe a few times and it’s fairly chilled, mostly swimmers (and their friends/families), young families and old people. It’s also next door to the reception area for the swimming lakes so if they feel uncomfortable there’s somewhere else they can go.

Would I be unreasonable to order them breakfast and a drink and leave them there for half an hour while I swim. They’re generally pretty sensible and I’d pack Yotos with headphones, and some games and books for them to entertain themselves. There’s no one else who can take them.

@ArtieChokeA 10 yr old could also be in yr 5! The fact is they are not nearly in yr 7

i don’t think OP is leaving them in the cafe over leaving them at home because they’d be supervised. The cafe is nearer to where she will be swimming?

MNs loves these!

A very old year 5.

Agree

yes, indeed if you read my explanation - I actually experienced that with a dd age 10 in year 5

The other thing to remember if anything did happen, MNs & the DM would be full of threads & comments saying what a bad parent the OP is.

I honestly think that if you have a 10 year old without any developmental issues who's not confident to go to a café for a bit without adult supervision, you're not doing a great job.

This thread has given me a good chuckle this evening I have to say, and really makes me question how some people bring up their children.

At 10y 1 week (Aug birthday) my y6 son was walking to primary school by himself (15m), much to the envy of his friends who lived too far away (rural area) and had to be driven.

At 11y 1 week he went to secondary school, on a public bus, for 40m, by himself. After school he walked (ok with friends) to the local leisure centre where they did their homework (allegedly) and waited for their sport training to start at 6pm.

By the spring of his y7 (so age 11/12) his friendship group were getting public buses to the local town to potter about, mainly McD's and Starbucks.

I would have left both of mine happily in a cafe for 30m, with entertainment and food / drink, and expected them still to be there when I got back from a. Swim.

those of you who wouldn't do this - what are your plans for secondary school when they will need to be doing all of this for themselves, and how are you raising independent confident children, if you don't give them the opportunities to practice these skills?

It's no different now. Kids still go swimming from age 8 without an adult. Our leisure centre does £1 swims in the holidays and it's packed not a parent in sight.

My 2 have sat in a cafe while I swam many times at the leisure centre. They even sit in tesco cafe while I shop sometimes!

I’m not really sure what all the outrage is for? Do nobody else’s 10 year olds play out alone? Walk to school alone? Next year they’ll be in secondary and potentially walking to school or getting the bus alone (or together in this case). If they can be trusted to behave then op would probably have finished swimming in the time it takes them to eat their breakfast. The lake is gated, there is a lifeguard, no chance of them falling in or op drowning. Genuinely can’t see why people are over reacting…

@ArtieChokeyou still don’t get it. I understand how the ages work in school years but it still doesn’t make someone belong to a year they are not in.

I give up.

I was thinking this

are they not capable of sitting at a table for 30m together in public

This thread is absolutely bonkers. At 10 DD and her friends used to cycle or get the bus across our big city. Go to the cinema and then a cafe for a snack afterwards for several hours. It was never questioned by anyone.
If you drown they are pretty fucked if at a cafe or elsewhere and life is too short to worry about big catastrophes.

When dd was 8yo (just turned) there was a triathlon event nearby. It was a 200m swim, 2km cycle and 1km run. I signed her up, looked fun. On the day I went with her and was fairly surprised that the 2km cycle was through woods with only a handful of Marshalls, but mostly just cones or those poles with the red and white ribbon occasionally marking the route. The run was completely out of sight. Anyway. My point is that this must have passed the risk assessment for 8 year olds. 71% of the responders on this thread would have absolutely shat themselves. Especially if they realised some parents dropped off and came back a few hours later to pick their child up. People are living such such different lives, it’s interesting.

For me it isnt the fact that they are ten in isolation but that they are ten year old twin brothers. Siblings can go from 0 to 100 in a heart beat. Ten year old lads....the same.

You have squared the likelihood of an issue, and for that reason I would actually wait longer than most would before leaving the home alone too. Two of my lot were barely a year between them and behaved appallingly towards each other at times. They were either best friends or worst enemies, my cousin with twins said the same about her girls.

I think youve got your answer but ten does feel a bit young

Kindly yabu. But not neglectful or anything as I see your thought process - they'd be together watching you - i'd say though, wait til theyre secondary school age x

Tho equally not sure I would leave my 9y to do the same alone - but I prob would with her bestie - they are both sensible girls

are people saying no due to nature of oo swimming or that left in public v being left home alone for an hour while she travels and swims

Are you joking?

1st if September is all it takes

A cafe is not a babysitting service

Of course they would. The OP has made it obvious that she will leave her kids alone in the cafe.

They wouldn't need babysitting. They'd be sitting have a breakfast

It is not kind it is madness. 10 year olds should be exploring on their own not incapable of sitting at a table in a cafe with their sibling for less than an hour.