to leave ten year old twins in a cafe while I swim?

[justkeepswimminginalake]

I’m a single parent to ten year old twins and I was hoping to start open water swimming again. There’s a swimming lake near me which has an onsite cafe and I was thinking about leaving the boys in the cafe by themselves while I swim. We’ve been to the cafe a few times and it’s fairly chilled, mostly swimmers (and their friends/families), young families and old people. It’s also next door to the reception area for the swimming lakes so if they feel uncomfortable there’s somewhere else they can go.

Would I be unreasonable to order them breakfast and a drink and leave them there for half an hour while I swim. They’re generally pretty sensible and I’d pack Yotos with headphones, and some games and books for them to entertain themselves. There’s no one else who can take them.

How are they nearly in Yr 7?! The new academic year has only just started 😆🤔

It’s a managed lake and the access to all the lakes is through a manned gate so they can check you’ve paid and aren’t trying to sneak in for free. They wouldn’t be on the bank of the lake.

You know your kids, OP. If you think they will be sensible and well behaved then I see nothing wrong with this. The way some people are responding on this post you'd think you were leaving a pair of toddlers.

I have an 11 year old in her final year of primary school, some of her friends are still 10. She and her friends walk or get the bus to school, go to the park, go round a small local shopping centre, go on bike rides... All without adult supervision. I have no idea why people think two 10 year olds need adult supervision to sit and eat breakfast.

Have your swim and enjoy it!

10 yr olds aren’t teens though?

10 yr olds aren’t teens though?

I am so surprised everyone is so anti this! They are not 5! Why can't two 10 year Olds go to a Cafe alone? At this age they are going into their final year at primary school and from my experience typically start walking home from school independently. My, now 12 year son, would routinely pop into a café or shop with friends on the way home on a Friday to spend their pocket money at this age in year 6.

10 yr olds aren’t teens though?

they are 10 years old, if they are 11 in October/November then they would be a similar age to many secondary school boys in year 7 that have June and July birthdays

There’s a manned gate for which they won’t have tickets and lifeguard.

Why would a couple of 10 year olds not be safe in a cafe because its near water. They are hardly going to wonder off and jump into the lake in the clothes at 10 years old.

Absolutely unreasonable. I can’t believe you’d even consider it!!

I'd say 10 is quite old to only be starting to walk home alone. Where I am they do it from 7 or 8. My 8 year old already goes to the local shop by himself. He loves the independence.

@ArtieChokehow does that make them nearly in yr 7? 😆

Are you mad?

No, but if they are treated like toddlers when they are 10 then they are hardly likely to become confident, self reliant teenagers

Would you leave them at home on their own? If the answer is no then what's the difference?

My god this thread is so shocking to me! I knew I was a bit more liberal than other parents when my kids were ten (about 15 years ago), they were walking to school from about 8 or 9, but we are raising young people with zero life skills. And fwiw leaving children alone is a lot more dangerous than being in a public place. And no, that does not include the expectation that cafe staff look after them, bar the basic good citizen thing hopefully all of us would do when we’re out and about- such as stepping in in a young person is being hassled.

Year 6? Sensible? Breakfast. I’d say yes. They will be a secondary school next year and will need to do a whole lot more, including going to and from school. I’m really surprised at the overwhelming no, especially since I think I molly coddled my two!

That age has always horrified me tbh! At my gym the children have to be 12 to be in the pool alone.

Already answered but I just want to add that no one is recognising that this might be important for your well being. You've given them 10 years and you are asking for is 30 minutes of mental space. Meanwhile they learn a bit of independence, assuming they are happy with the arrangement, it's a different situation if not. I think its a win win.

I think it's fine. It is a managed place with lifeguards, nothing bad will happen to you. You will swim. They will sit. I would totally trust my 10 yo to do this. They would probably bring a book.

Please don't leave them in a cafe. This is not ok.

You are 52 x more likely to have an accident in the home. www.national-accident-helpline.co.uk/news/post/accidents-home

I think it really depends on the kids. Some 10 year old would be fine with this. My eldest would. But my youngest - no way!

I would do that without hesitation. My kids are sensible and well behaved. They’d be told not to leave etc. All good.