to leave ten year old twins in a cafe while I swim?

[justkeepswimminginalake]

I’m a single parent to ten year old twins and I was hoping to start open water swimming again. There’s a swimming lake near me which has an onsite cafe and I was thinking about leaving the boys in the cafe by themselves while I swim. We’ve been to the cafe a few times and it’s fairly chilled, mostly swimmers (and their friends/families), young families and old people. It’s also next door to the reception area for the swimming lakes so if they feel uncomfortable there’s somewhere else they can go.

Would I be unreasonable to order them breakfast and a drink and leave them there for half an hour while I swim. They’re generally pretty sensible and I’d pack Yotos with headphones, and some games and books for them to entertain themselves. There’s no one else who can take them.

It must be as it is pretty much a right of passage at that school. All the kids do it.

The above 10 year old is now 17 and a confident, independent young man. Nothing special in that yet I know quite a few of his peers wouldn’t be able to sort out their own public transport and get themsleves where they need to be.

This thread is wild. What if they were to choke?! These kids will be going to secondary school next year. Who will be supervising them on the way to school and stopping them choking on a packet of crisps, eh? I hope you’ll be banning them from any unattended eating, OP!

Sounds reasonable to me, if they’re sensible. If they’re liable to start a food fight or start arguing over the remains of a bacon sandwich, maybe not, but I assume you’ve thought of that. I’d probably leave them with a phone.

They are just customers as far as the cafe workers are concerned. They don’t need their nappies changing.

My twins at 11 started to go the nearby village to order a smoothie in a cafe, just for fun. Id drop them nearby and theyd arrive alone. They'd hang out for half an hour or so. They were never asked to leave or asked where their parents were, they went to a couple of different places. At 12 they started going by bus and that worried me a bit, but the cafe element was absolutely fine. If you walk them there and ensure they get a seat, and leave them after purchasing something, then return to collect after a time that is reasonable to occupy a seat then I can't see anything wrong with this at all. I dont understand those talking about it being 'childcare', it makes me wonder how immature their children are? 10 year olds don't need constant hovering and interacting.

You’re right. Walking to school means they are more likely to be knocked down.

Ah okay, you are young and have a young child. I am old(er) and have older children 😁 wait a few years and come back to this thread. 10 is very different to 4. You'll get it, you'll get there

Do those against OP’s suggestion not let their 10 year olds go to the park together without an adult?

It's going to be very rough when the anxious teens of today/ the past few years start having kids. Jesus I think it's going to get worse

They are old enough to send to a public swimming pool by themselves (8), so sticking them in a cafe near a lake with other people around them is no big drama, presumably they aren't going to try and join you swimming wearing their normal clothes.

@Absolutelynot2You must be aware that ten years olds go to cafes all the time completely on their own or with friends? No one is expecting them to do childcare.

@Weirdwonderfully agree, I think it’s a weird notion that of you’re not ok with this you somehow are raising a dc who will like independence etc.

Are you okay??

@arethereanyleftatall I do not see 10 year olds in my local cafes

Yep and it explains why parents end up having to organise their kids GCSES, A Levels and University applications as their kids are completely clueless without any self reliance or self confidence.

Well said, and I’m guessing this lake and cafe aren’t in London! I used to go to the local rec in suburban London when I was about 8 and meet up with other local kids, who I didn’t know. I had a watch and had to be home by 5. Then at 11 took the train and tube for a one hour journey to school.
OP I think it’s fine.

You know how sensible your children are. If you can trust them to stay where you ask them and ensure they have a way of contacting someone if they can't get hold of you then half hour or so would probably be fine.

If you are a long way from another trusted person to jump in if there was a problem then maybe not. 10 year olds generally have access to phones and family group chats.

@Absolutelynot2 seriously stop calling the OP names & calm down.

If you’re a frequent swimmer there, then you must know the staff? Speak with them and explain your plan, make clear you don’t expect them to be kept an eye on and that you would be X amount of time. See what they say. Alternatively is there anywhere outside they could sit and watch you where you can still check on them periodically?

But why are they responsible? Are the severs in Costa responsible if 2 ten year olds are drinking hot chocolate? I mean cafe workers are responsible in a general sense like if someone- anyone- is taken unwell, to call an ambulance. But I’m at a loss here at the logic.

Some of these replies are a bit insane. My 11yo has been shopping and to the cinema without an adult this Summer. The age at which libraries, swimming pools etc admit them without an adult is 8.

I swim outdoors. My dc have been coming to watch, or join me and swim too, since they were about 9.

My kids walked to school at ten. What is all this crazy nonsense? Of course it’s fine.

I think it’s fine. If the boys are sensible 10 year olds- why not?