Loo issue in the office

[Standingupstream]

NC for this..
I work in an office with mainly women. There is one man who is senior to us, although he isn’t our manager, and he only started coming over to our office a few months ago.We only have one loo that we all share, and before he started working in our office, this was never an issue.
Now, about 30 minutes after arriving, he disappears into the loo for ages. When he finally comes out, the smell is absolutely suffocating. There’s no window, in the loo and the air fresheners just seem to make the whole thing even more vomit-inducing.
Then, a couple of hours later, he goes again. And again after lunch. And usually once more in the afternoon. This happens pretty much every time he’s in the office, which is around 3–4 days a week.
It has now become a running joke amongst us. If someone needs the loo and it’s occupied, we ask ( other people ) if it’s him, because we all know there’s absolutely no point even attempting to go in for at least half an hour. 😂
My DH actually uses a different loo at home because I hate a poo-smelling bathroom, but obviously if it happens occasionally I’m not exactly precious about it because he’s my DH. I just find it rather gross being subjected to this at work by a man I barely know. 😂

The problem is, we genuinely don’t know what to do about it. How on earth do you approach a grown man about the fact that his toilet habits are basically fumigating the entire office, without completely humiliating him?!
I actually started to worry if he has some serious stomach issues. That would be actually completely different matter.
How would you approach it? Or should we just leave it. We are becoming very cross about it.

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They put non smell tablets in the bathroom and he doesn’t use them. I am pretty sure reading your post you’d probably use two, every single time, because you give a fuck.

Apparently striking a match afterwards eliminates the smell - could you leave a notice to that effect?

As long as colleagues never have to see them naked they will never be in this man’s shoes. There seems to be a few poor decisions and behaviour from this man.

Surely he knows he is creating an awful stench. Does he not care? I would be bringing in a large can of air freshener and spraying it liberally every time he takes a dump

There’s nothing stopping them if it’s a private business. But the point here is that employers shouldn’t be relying on employees using a stand alone disabled facility as standard because the standard toilet facilities are inadequate for the number of staff they employ. Which is what’s happening in OP’s case.

this is not what I am saying either . If there is a workplace where some people specifically need it it’s one thing but it’s ludicrous not to use it for no good reason. As for public toilets there are often reasons people have to use them who are not disabled . I’ve had to nip in for a pee in a disabled toilet at times with a pram so not to leave a newborn baby sitting in a public place with no supervision for example . I’m sure people use them for no good reason as well which must be incredibly frustrating.

Which could be construed as bullying in the workplace. Especially if it turns out that he does have a medical condition.

He's not your husband and you're not at home. It's not your job to police the way he uses a toilet. He obviously has some kind of GI problem.

You need to tell the company to improve/fix the ventilation. No need to specify who is causing the stink. Just say it's unacceptable.

Your employer is legally compliant by providing two unisex toilets, one of which is adapted for wheelchair use, for nineteen people. They shouldn't separately badge them male and female, because there are more than five female employees. You shouldn't impose rules about which toilet to use, because of the needs of employees with urgency issues, and you shouldn't ask intrusive questions.

You need to contact facilities management and tell them you have a problem with smells in the toilet and office. Solutions include a better extractor fan, ventilation grille in the door, and a self-closing mechanism for the door.

Read my posts back. I’m not disagreeing with any of that. What I’m saying is that if the employer was providing adequate toilet facilities for the rest of the staff, there would be no need for them to use the disabled facility as standard. In many workplaces where there are these disabled facilities, they are often not accessible to disabled people when they need them because non disabled staff don’t have adequate standard facilities and have use the disabled loo.

I’m assuming that OP is talking about a stand alone, lockable room disabled facility, which is intended to left free for the use of disabled people.

I'vee been in hotels where they have an oil infuser kind of thing burning permanently in the corner of the public toilets. Would that work?

Yes, it does sound like he has a medical issue. I use matches to get rid of the smell in the bathroom. Just one swipe for a few seconds really helps.

Exactly, I knew two men, one who had Chron's and one UC - and they would've been equally mortified. Utmost sympathy to sufferers of these conditions but the man in OP's office also sounds generally inconsiderate (edited to add: not closing the loo door behind him and not using some kind of spray after he's been if he hasn't got time beforehand with the powders available)

I'm not sure what could be done in this situation though that would be good for all parties, so tricky.

Change the office loo to women only and the downstairs loo to men only. He should be using that anyway out of consideration for everyone else. Sure, you don’t know a persons possible medical issues, however, he should also be more considerate.

Just buy a can of frebreze air spray and leave it in the loo. He may get the hint and spray himself if not just spray yourself when you go in. We had one at work and we keep one at home too.

I poo at least 4 times a day. What's normal for you is normal for you and what's normal for me is normal for me.

I think in this scenario, that might result in an industrial-scale gas explosion

If you were the one who had to poo at work four times a day, for whatever reason, would you not go to the downstairs loo and bring some matches or poo spray? I feel some men just don’t care about imposing their smells on others. I am very sensitive to smells and could not sit in an office that reeks of shit or BO. I would be sick. I think you need to make a sign that says something like ‘Due to faulty ventilation, this toilet is to be used for urine only, for the comfort of everyone in the office.’ Maybe put a funny gas mask picture on it.

How do you know he doesn’t have a stoma?

Or at least trigger the smoke detectors.

If you're absolutely sure he doesn't have a stoma (though I'm not sure how you know this without any doubt whatsoever) he at least definitely has some kind of health issue going on. My former manager suffered for months while waiting for a diagnosis of a condition and this was a similar situation but we managed it without making him feel worse than he already did. And as your husband uses a separate toilet at home do you never poo yourself? You must! Lucky if you've never had digestive or other issues, but some are just trying to negotiate life.

If there is another loo he doesn't use why don't the women just use that one?

What would you like him to do? Fix the ventilation? Install a window? All he can do is shut the door and use zipoo

ha, sometimes these glaring hints don't work - I tried lodging with a bloke who did not use soap after taking a shit, which is fine if you have separate kitchens.

Eventually I bought some handwash as the ultimate passive-aggressive solution. He ignored that, so I had to tell a grown man about washing his hands after taking a shit, which went about as well as you'd expect.

He claimed he'd never used soap and a month later, he asked me to leave