Loo issue in the office

[Standingupstream]

NC for this..
I work in an office with mainly women. There is one man who is senior to us, although he isn’t our manager, and he only started coming over to our office a few months ago.We only have one loo that we all share, and before he started working in our office, this was never an issue.
Now, about 30 minutes after arriving, he disappears into the loo for ages. When he finally comes out, the smell is absolutely suffocating. There’s no window, in the loo and the air fresheners just seem to make the whole thing even more vomit-inducing.
Then, a couple of hours later, he goes again. And again after lunch. And usually once more in the afternoon. This happens pretty much every time he’s in the office, which is around 3–4 days a week.
It has now become a running joke amongst us. If someone needs the loo and it’s occupied, we ask ( other people ) if it’s him, because we all know there’s absolutely no point even attempting to go in for at least half an hour. 😂
My DH actually uses a different loo at home because I hate a poo-smelling bathroom, but obviously if it happens occasionally I’m not exactly precious about it because he’s my DH. I just find it rather gross being subjected to this at work by a man I barely know. 😂

The problem is, we genuinely don’t know what to do about it. How on earth do you approach a grown man about the fact that his toilet habits are basically fumigating the entire office, without completely humiliating him?!
I actually started to worry if he has some serious stomach issues. That would be actually completely different matter.
How would you approach it? Or should we just leave it. We are becoming very cross about it.

Agree @Standingupstream I would ask the person who has recently seen his naked body to talk to him about the smell.

Absolutely

I actually admire someone that can use a communal toilet and not worry about stinking it out. I have Crohn's Colitis and regularly get mortified if I have an emergency and have to use a public loo. I carry smell diffuser sprays with me and spray beforehand, if I have time. However, There is no way I could ever brazenly stink out a toilet I knew other people had to use. So, in that respect, hats off to him. On a more practical note, I would use the disabled toilet downstairs. It is unfair and unhygenic of him to expect others to have to inhale or experience his toilet smells. Personally, for my own dignity and anxiety levels, I could never behave in that way. I do think that is one of many differences between men and women though. They do not seem to get embarassed or concerned about things like that. It is a very tricky and delicate situation.

@Standingupstream If the loo downstairs is for disabled employees and there is no one in the office who needs that facility, why is it not being used by everyone? Unless it's a loo for customers who may need an accessible loo it seems crazy not to use that as part of the office facilities.

Why have aloo being unused and 15 people using one upstairs?

Such a long thread! I haven't the will to read each post but presumably someone has pointed out to OP that the disabled toilet isn't just for disabled people to use.

OP - you sound devoid of charm and empathy. Please tell HR - maybe they can explain to you their bullying policy and issue any appropriate warnings.

Then telling the facilities manager this via posting on an anonymous message board seems a long winded way to get it fixed! Pick up the phone and speak to them, or send them an email. They will be far more likely to get it fixed than you hoping they read your message and realise it is meant for them.

Also, was it actually recent? If not, it's possible he may have a stoma now and just didn't before. It might be something new which he is still adjusting to.

I can't believe what I've just read. You want her to complain to management that someone is using the toilet too often? And then you think management should ask him to disclose private medical information? Are you serious?!

My partner has Crohns and has suffered a lifetime of this sort of thing. A lot of his jobs are on the road so he has to go in bin bags. He's never worked in an office environment so hasn't had this exact issue. At home, we have 3 toilets but I'm used to the odd accident and having to subtly wipe little things he might have missed.

I do sympathise. A woman in one of my jobs was vegan, and I don't know what she was eating, but there was only one woman's loo, and she used to absolutely destroy it. We knew it was because of her special diet, not because she had a condition.

Is there seriously only one loo between the lot of you?

And the places doing that are breaking the law. You can only legally have a single disabled toilet in a workplace if you have five or fewer employees, and it’s a fully lockable, self-contained room facility. There isn’t a specific law against non-disabled staff using a disabled toilet in these circumstances but the point is that under the Equality Act 2010 a dedicated disabled toilet facility has to remain available for disabled staff - fifteen other staff using it regularly would rule that out.

Employer to fix the fan.

Signs on the door. No.1s only in here. No.2s downstairs.

And I'm assuming that no-one else poos and that the women's shit smells of roses? 🌹

what- even if no one in the building needs disabled access?

I think there is a very grey area around this. It's one thing needing access for a wheelchair or a basin in the loo, but there is also a need to use a toilet urgently (for people with IBS for example. )They would not be registered as disabled but have a health issue that means they can't wait for 10 minutes if they need to go.

So in this office, everyone should be able to use each loo.

There are many public buildings that have just one type of loo which is large enough for a wheelchair but is also available for everyone else- it has a male/ female and disabled logo on the door.

Anyone following this advice would likely find themselves in a very awkward position and open to legal action. It’s illegal for an employer to ask any employee if they have a medical condition, even if they suspect it. Disclosing is entirely at the discretion of the employee. And if he does have a medical condition, asking him to specifically use a separate facility to the rest of the staff could amount to discrimination.

OP needs to go to management and point out that it’s illegal to only have one toilet between fifteen staff. The legal ratio is one toilet and one washbasin per five staff.

A family member has crohns and this is their biggest fear that other people are discussing and even laughing about them in their office.

They do work. I carry a spray in my handbag for when I go shopping. M&S is my favoured loo but it is small and queues can form

There’s no such thing as being ‘registered’ disabled in relation to using these facilities. Disability is defined by the Equality Act 2010 and anyone satisfying those conditions can use them, including those with IBS and Crohns. They are there for any disabled person to use, not just wheelchair users.

It also depends on the type of toilet facility and the type of building. If it’s open to the public and the facility is a stand alone room, away from other standard toilet facilities and lockable, then yes. These facilities are meant to be left for the use of disabled people who may need to use them urgently. The point here is that employees shouldn’t need to use a disabled facility - there should be adequate toilet facilities depending on the number of staff - one toilet facility and one wash basin to every five employees.

I’ve worked in workplaces where there was only a few toilets and all of the toilets were accessible and single cubicle .
There is no reason why people can’t use the disabled toilet sometimes in a workplace that has zero disabled people .

There’s a difference between an accessible toilet and one meant to be kept free for the specific use of disabled people, and yes, I agree there is no reason why non disabled people can’t use a disabled toilet in a private business if there are no disabled people working there. Obviously it happens. My point here is that an employer can’t rely on employees using a specific disabled facility because the existing facilities are inadequate. Which is what seems to be happening in OP’s place of work.

Then use the toilet downstairs which is what I would do.

So a disabled toilet should be kept free at all times in a workplace with absolutely no disabled people in it and no visitors ? Right yeh maybe red tape says this but common sense and reality doesn’t

I never said it doesn't happen. 🙄 I said I personally don't know anyone who shits 4 or 5 times a day.

Kindly do not put words in my mouth.

I shall put it a different way then.

I don't know anybody who has 4 or 5 shits a day AT WORK (in the workplace!)

Never happened in all my years of working..

I am entitled to post about my own experiences.

.

That’s not what I’m saying. And you’ve clearly never sat in a queue outside a disabled toilet with a leaking stoma bag, otherwise you may have a different view.

It is! It is for disabled men, disabled women and non disabled men. They're everywhere !

I feel sorry for both you and your colleague. Your employer needs to know the situation and must find ways to offer more toilets. Or that poor guy needs to explain his condition to them and should be offered flexible solutions, e.g. work from home, if they cannot provide more toilets.