Daughter left to get hotel in reading on last day of festival by my husband who can’t be arsed to pick her up. Says I am being hysterical that I don’t think that is the best answer.

[mylot]

So dd 17 just casually told us she wants picking up from Reading festival with a few others at 1am. I was going to go but not super comfortable lone driving in the wee hours knowing I might be waiting around a bit in a car park somewhere (you know what they are like with answering phones) DH offered to go. Then having looked at the mass exodus traffic situation, he says he can’t be arsed and thinks booking her a hotel in the centre of town is a better idea. I said no, anyway, what about her mates. Regardless, she’d be wandering around on her own post festival in a strange town at 1am. He said I was being weird for having a problem with that, no one else would say that. I said ‘Um. I grew up as a woman…’ he said ‘ No other woman I know would ever say that to me.’ Bearing in mind he is in the middle of an emotional affair with someone 20 years younger at work. AIBU to think that some of you would rather go get her (it’s a hour) than have her abandoned in a strange town?

Such harsh responses on here...

One of my dc's is there and has told me that 'it's feral' in there today. Festivals are known for being awful on the last night and I believe that here it gets called The Purge, like the film. The last act on the main stage is Chase and Status who will rev up the crowd no end. If your dd wants to get out of there, it's sensible. All this about them being 17 so they should be able to cope is false reasoning. They might not be able to. Tents get destroyed and jumped on with people inside from what I have read. I would get her home whatever the time. PP's are correct, it's very busy at night and the boat, if not massively oversubscribed, will get her very close to the pick up/drop off. That said, I would not want her walking about alone at night. I doubt she could stay in a hotel under 18 either.

The Sunday nights are famous for tents getting burnt/general chaos.

But my 16 year old and all her friends bought day weekend passes so haven't paid for camping. It's really easy to collect kids. There are thousands of parents doing this over the weekend

Totally agree.

This!!!! All these people saying she can stay another night, the last night at Reading the tone always changes and I personally would drive to pick my daughter up at 1am vs her staying Sunday night. Loads of parents will be doing it and it’s a very specific occasion vs being picked up every weekend from a nightclub. And FYI I was at Reading yesterday and it was a nightmare trying to get through on the phone to anyone so it’s very hard to make plans. Honestly could only get messages through about twice and nothing once it got really busy with the headliners. So lack of communication may not be her fault.

I’d go myself too op no matter what, you hear too many stories of someone deciding to try to get home themselves or taking a lift from a bad driver. Radio on, heat on and tell her to make sure to answer her phone!

She needs to dtick to plan

Presumably she world get taxi yo hotel maybe with a friend

you are being silly about night driving ( 1 am is shit agreed) and silly about being in a carpark if mass exodus you wont be alone and ring in advance to tell her to answer her phone
( lock the doors if alone in car park drive away from weirdos )

Based on the activities I’ve heard occur on Sunday nights at Reading, I’d happily drive to pick up my DD from a festival.

Honestly it amazes me that people don’t realise reading can become quite feral. I wouldn’t want to camp there on the last night as a grown up.

I’d pick her up myself if I were you OP, but it wouldn’t be 1am. It would be 11.30pm or not at all. Her choice.

She's not a baby, FFS. She's 17. She can go now and get a train back home.

I’d ask them to stay put and pick them up later on, early morning. I agree with a PP, that’s not much to ask from a teenager, they can easily stay up all night.

If she's fallen out with her friends (as there is no request for them to have a lift home, so presumably they still do), to the point she is currently on her own at the festival and I would go and get her earlier rather than later due to safety.

otherwise she can wait for her planned lift. I can't imagine any teen parent refusing to take a friend home even if it makes for a icy journey home because they are not talking.

I’d pick her up. It will be easier at 1am than it will tomorrow. Lots of hotels will have a no under 18s in their own rule, plus they are probably all booked up anyhow. I wouldn’t have a 17yr old walking along the side of the Thames (that was the route I left by a couple years ago - might be diff for campers) as it’s pitch black plus camping gear etc. How come her lift has let her down? I’d be really upset about that

Hah ha, ikr? My bad, lol. Ach - I would move mountains for her, she’s an amazing kid. Wish me luck!

Any father who thinks it is ok for his 17 year old daughter to be walking around an unknown town in the small hours and booking into a strange hotel is a very odd father. Of course it's not ok. But why did your DD not plan how she was getting back from the festival. Her lack of planning is a worry.
Also, why is your DH having an 'emotional' affair at work? Tell him to stop it or leave, IMHO*, because that is definitely not ok.
*been there, bought the T-shirt, got compared to much nicer women who were more spontaneous than me, and got divorced.

Reading seems to be a rite of passage. Then they get there and want to come home early. My DD did the same so I went and got her. You need to do the same. Your DH is beyond belief thinking his own daughter is OK wandering around alone trying to get a hotel room. If he had an ounce of love he'd arrange a taxi or something or just get her.

So why can't she use that lift?

Still don’t know. On another note, that’s the most amazing username ever 🙌

I’m not clear what your own trauma was and not asking you to disclose but as a 52 year old woman who’s been alone most of my life I’d drive anywhere at any time. It wouldn’t phase me at all. However I still think he is an absolute waste of a father and would have left him for an emotional affair.

When you get home Op, maybe tell your husband that throwing words like weird and hysterical at you is not acceptable. Nor is having an emotional affair at work.
You deserve much better than that sort of behaviour.

Got our 16 year old daughter this afternoon, she'd had enough. She says there's a war between campsites tonight, so lord knows what that means!

I love festivals but hate camping. I think she takes after me.

Can’t she just leave earlier and get a train?

Or there are tons of other options here, including rideshares, coaches, even boats…

https://www.readingfestival.com/info-category/travel

My 16yo is there and is refusing to leave. I've offered to go get her tonight but she's there until the bitter end it seems! 😆

I just know my DH would be there like a shot, for any of our kids, or their friends for that matter.
Just like my kids would (and have) driven 100 miles to pick up a sibling.
What is wrong with people?
Family sticks together?