AIBU to feel hurt by my partner's sibling's comment about our baby?

[Alawishus39]

I feel really hurt by a comment made by my partners sibling at a recent family gathering. I’ve recently had a baby, less than 6 months ago and partners sibling has just had theirs, they are both our first babies. We met to meet the baby. They said the baby’s full name and one of the names i hadn’t ever heard so I asked “what does that name mean” and the sibling replied “better than your baby” but saying my baby’s name so for example “better than Charlie”. Not the name, as in the name meaning means their child is better than our child, or that’s how I’ve taken it. I was a little stunned and there was an awkward silence. I was expecting my partner to say something to the sibling but they didn’t. I made a half laugh and the conversation moved on. I just feel quite upset now and like there will be an instant rivalry between the two babies who are cousins growing up. Maybe it’s hormones, so I need to know if I am being unreasonable or what I can do to stop this from becoming a thing or if I’ve taken the comment wrongly and they did mean the name is better than our babies name.

It was a joke! And of course they think their baby is better than your baby — it’s theirs!

They probably took what you said as a snippy comment and made one back about your kids name. I would just forget about it.

You say "ah well we chose the name Charlie because it means 'superior to your baby and all your future children's"

I was genuinely interested in the meaning, it isn’t an English name. Looking it up after it has a lovely meaning,there wasn’t any sniping.

If it’s not an English name and your response was ‘what’s the meaning’ I’d assume they were irritated about that so made a snarky comment in reply.

Are they normally up their own backside?

Its fairly exhausting to be asked about meanings of names just because theyre not English. We dont ask for the meaning of English names. I would assume they were irritated by your question even if you didnt mean it that way.

They probably thought it was funny and then out loud it didn't sound funny and they regret it.
If they truly wanted a rivalry they wouldn't joke about it, it's just a bit of an obvious thing to kid about when two babies are close in age.

My baby was born at a similar time to a good friend's nephew, she would jokingly refer to my baby as the second best baby she knew - this was funny when said as the babies don't actually know each other, plus she's a funny person, but I could see how it can go wrong without being meant badly!

It could be perceived that way.

You should have just done the obligatory "what a beautiful name" stuff and then looked it up later.

I think this is just a massive miscommunication and I’d forget it. I’d probably be a bit stung like you are but unless there is another thing just try to forget it

I really don't think it's because you asked the name meaning, people bloody love explaining their baby names and you're their family so it's fine.
Other posters are just saying that to try and make you look/feel bad on a Saturday morning, for reasons only they know.

It’s possible they don’t know the meaning and was put on the spot so gave a snippy response. I’d let it go but it was a bit of a shitty thing to say

They might not know the meaning of the name. They could possibly have just picked the name because they liked it and done no research and felt stupid when you asked. To cover up because they didn’t want to admit they didn’t know they were a bit snippy.
Often when people are rude like that it’s not about being rude to you it’s to cover up their own stupidly, they’d rather be rude than stupid.

What a bitch. Either way its bang out of order.

I think yours was a perfectly reasonable question, especially as generally people these days are quite interested in the meaning of names, and their origin.

I think the response you got was actually very unpleasant. It may be that if it's such an unusual name there have been a lot of comments about it and she is feeling defensive about the choice.

I would try not to let this upset you and put it behind you unless you get other unpleasant signals from her. Then definitely your DH should support you.

Yeah it was a dick comment.

They probably have no idea what the name meant so shot back with that.

Id definitely say something to your partner along the lines of ‘that comment your sister made has really got under my skin - that’s why I laughed awkwardly and sat there like a dick head. It was uncalled for and mean’

I wouldn’t say anything to his sister - just mark her card. She’s unpleasant and I’d avoid like the plague - I doubt this is going to be the only time she says crap like this about your kids

Joke that went wrong I think. If you get on well forget about it and enjoy your children . Having a cousin gang to grow up with is great.

How is the relationship otherwise?

This was my thinking too.

The other thing is and I’m sorry for the drip feed I don’t have a brain right now. Our baby and the other baby aren’t the same gender, our baby is the gender they were hoping for. I only know this because they had a huge argument and didn’t talk for days after the gender scan because of the disappointment. Our baby wasn’t planned and we aren’t married, their baby was very planned and they are married. Other than this we have had years together as a 4 getting on well and going on holidays etc with weekends together. I felt closer to them than my own siblings and would always find things to do together.

Why don't you ask for the meaning of English names? I'd love to be asked what my kids' names mean.

Warning - this may not continue in the future if there is tension like this. We had several great holidays and lots of days out with BIL and family whose DC are close in age to my DS1, but none of us are touchy like this. There will be incidents where one child takes a toy from another etc and I’ve known families where holidays were awful because of hostility over this.

I would ask for the meaning of an English name.

Are you serious? Why would an English ask the meaning of an English name?

No it’s not exhausting to be asked the meaning of names. It's a perfectly normal part of a conversation about names