AIBU to feel hurt by my partner's sibling's comment about our baby?

[Alawishus39]

I feel really hurt by a comment made by my partners sibling at a recent family gathering. I’ve recently had a baby, less than 6 months ago and partners sibling has just had theirs, they are both our first babies. We met to meet the baby. They said the baby’s full name and one of the names i hadn’t ever heard so I asked “what does that name mean” and the sibling replied “better than your baby” but saying my baby’s name so for example “better than Charlie”. Not the name, as in the name meaning means their child is better than our child, or that’s how I’ve taken it. I was a little stunned and there was an awkward silence. I was expecting my partner to say something to the sibling but they didn’t. I made a half laugh and the conversation moved on. I just feel quite upset now and like there will be an instant rivalry between the two babies who are cousins growing up. Maybe it’s hormones, so I need to know if I am being unreasonable or what I can do to stop this from becoming a thing or if I’ve taken the comment wrongly and they did mean the name is better than our babies name.

I’m amazed at all the posts justifying what is a really bitchy comment. Be the better person and ignore it, op. It obviously comes from a place of jealousy and insecurity. If she ever says anything similar again, say ‘Oh, I didn’t realise it was a competition. I’m hoping the cousins will grow up to be close.’

This was a nasty comment.
Take it that things have changed.
I would be very wary of them.

Have a conversation with your partner over why he allowed that comment to fly.
I hope as you are not married you have given your baby, your surname.
Silly not to.

I wish you'd clarified that it was the father of the "Best Baby" who made the comment in your OP @Alawishus39

People are having a field day with the word bitch!

You’ve both got babies under 6 months old.
You’re all exhausted and hormonal.

If nothing was said at the time - eg what do you mean by that - then I’d draw a line in it and move on.

Ignore your BIL’s comment. Who knows what is going on with them. Maybe they are struggling. Just distance yourself a little and enjoy your baby.

agree!

i think people are more likely to view it as competitive banter coming from a BIL too (which it probably was).

Interesting how most people assumed it was a woman who made the comment. It's an odd comment as everyone will think their baby is better than anyone else's, but we don't go round saying that. Perhaps he thought it was "banter"

I think if you have always had a good relationship with them otherwise, I would be inclined to just let this go.

@Alawishus39 Why did you wait until there were nearly 3 pages of comments before announcing it was actually your brother in law who made this comment. Were you just enjoying hearing your sister in law's character being dragged through the mud and revelling in her being called a bitch? If you have always liked her so much, why didn't you defend her here? That's not at all nice of you.
By the way, men don't "have a baby"; their female partners do. Men become fathers.

💯this.
Even if the comment were meant as a joke (which I doubt) then it was still bang out of order.

I’d have laughed and said I doubt that. Non event

As it was between the brothers I would think maybe it’s in ‘in joke’ and let it go.
Their gender disappointment has probably gone now that their baby is here so don’t look for jealousy (you will find it in even innocent chat).

Enjoy the time.

Yes thia, I dont get personally hurt by ehqt others say I just think bit rude and move on

Not sure if it is just on here bit I dont know people in real life that overthink like what they seem to do on here

I’ve recently had a baby, less than 6 months ago and partners sibling has just had theirs, they are both our first babies.

People assumed because OP said she’s just had her baby and her partners sibling has just had theirs, so it could be assumed that she meant gave birth like she meant for herself.

I don’t think it matters who said it but I’ guess if it was the sibling it would have been easier to call them out on it, so I guess it’s relevant to a point but I don’t think the sex is relevant.

You said to her" ooo ahh umm what does that name mean" which sounds rude to me , youve both got hormones,

Love how everyone is still blaming the sil even though the OP says the remark came from her bil.

@Alawishus39 it sounds like a joke that fell flat. If you can overlook it, that would probably be for the best.

I’m going to suggest there is competition/rivalry between the brothers and you got caught in the crossfire. If you can do anything it’s to maintain a really good relationship with the brothers wife and ignore all the nonsense between the brothers. Then you’ll be fine.

I think what they said is very odd and I'd be upset.

If you've got on well previously I'd let it go ultimately and hope it was a one off

My first response on being told a babies name is to say “what a lovely name”, not “what does it mean”.

Obviously the babies name wasn’t Charlie or Sharon, because you would not have asked that question had it been, but because it was not an English name you assumed it had a meaning.

Imagine if everyone asks “what does it mean” on being introduced to new baby? It would most probably get a bit irksome.

@Alawishus39 what was your first instinctive thought on hearing the babies name?

Was it ‘what a lovely name’? Was it ‘Ooookay!’ or was it “what does it mean”?

I have had a number of ‘oookayy’ moments on first hearing babies names.

They made themselves look stupid. I would let it go tbh if you normally get on with them well.

Well most 'English' names aren't really English and have original meanings in other languages. Sarah is a Hebrew name meaning princess, Katherine a Greek name meaning pure, William a Germanic name meaning strong-willed warrior etc. I don't even know the meaning of my own name- i could Google, but it's the kind of thing I forget very quickly.

But back to the OP, this is the kind of thing my brother would say to me to wind me up. He wouldn't actually mean it to be taken seriously. Insensitive to say to a new mum though.

I've just had to Google the meanings of my kids names because in 16 years of being a parent no one has ever asked me! So interesting lots of people think it's a normal question. I just chose on what sounds nice and who else I knew with those names. I'm glad they didn't ask me as actually the meanings don't suit us at all! Whoops!

It was a weird rude comment from them, but if things are usually ok between you I'd put it down to a misjudged joke, or them feeling awkward for some reason (eg embarrassed they don't know the meaning or taking all your questions to mean you didn't like it).

If you think you might be feeling hormonal, and this baby is even younger - she could also be feeling a bit oversensitive from hormones.

Was it meant to be a joke? Weird and rude as fuck.

For those saying it was a joke: it didn't sound very much like a joke, and if it was, don't you think OP would know? Would there have been an awkward silence that followed? Please stop gaslighting people into thinking they're overreacting over these kinds of things.

I think you've misunderstood. In my culture for instance, all our names have meanings so its a standard question to ask anybody. Some brits are aware of this, so when meeting someone from that culture, will ask the meaning of their name or their baby's name. They're not being snippy, its just a nice question to ask because they usually all have nice meanings. Its rather unfortunate OP's sil took offence.