AIBU to be shaken after fiancé stayed out all night?

[TheBlueRobin]

My fiance (M33) didn't come home last night after a night out in our nearest city. I (F33) am so shocked my anger hasn't kicked in yet. We get married in 7 weeks.

He had this night out planned for a little while, going out with a work friend for some food and one of those interactive game places to do darts etc. Later in the night he bumped into a mutual friend of ours who I know is a big drinker and one for nights out. The last time I heard from him was 9:30 where he sent a selfie of the two of them and a comment about our friend's crazy stories. He said he was getting the last train at 11:30 so would be home around midnight. So I went to sleep.

I wake up at 6am to our hungry cats, notice he is not in bed or the spare room and nothing on the Ring doorbell to show he had come home. I presumed he had stayed at friend's house in the city and just said 'look send me a message when you wake up and I can pick you up'. He replied quite quickly saying he was getting the first train home. I asked where he slept and he gave a garbled response saying our friend left him and by that time it was 2am. He went to a late night place and then just walked around and then slept outside a church. He had a thick rain coat on but I was so shocked at his response and disregard for his own personal safety. He had just been paid so could have afforded a taxi or got a cheap hotel or something. He was still quite drunk when I picked him up but he seemed remorseful and in fact quite shocked at his actions. He's sleeping it off now and we'll talk later. It was pouring with rain outside as well.

For context, my partner does like a drink but is not a frequent drinker. His last crazy night out was his stag in June and before that a few months before. We do drink together. I have no concerns about him cheating or anything like being aggressive. But it feels like a switch goes in his head and he just has no regard for his actions and keeps drinking.

He is a good, loving, kind, funny man, he is very loving, affectionate and we have a good relationship. But this has thrown me. If this happened more frequently I wouldn't be with him. If this was earlier in our relationship, it would be a big red flag. We got together in our mid twenties when this kind of thing could be laughed off as part of youth but at 33 you should know better.

I've slept in the entrance to a church before and another time a garden center.

I was too tired to get a taxi home in my tipsy mind

He slept outside a church? A 33 year old man who was with friends? I’m thinking, he probs went home with someone panicked and said he slept outside a church because you might call friend/mutual friend if he said he was at theirs. But I’m a cynical person so..who knows but it would defo give me the ick that a grown man can become so drunk he would sleep outside a church instead of, idk, calling you or perhaps getting a cab?

If he was so pissed that he was drunk this morning, then maybe no taxis would take him? Maybe he didn't even know what he was doing has no memory and can't really explain it? I've worked with plenty of men who got absolutely rat arsed on nights out and had bizarre stories of what had happened to them and where they'd slept.

He did something stupid this one time and I dont think its a big deal. Yes, it was unsafe but hes home and hes ok.

How are you so sure hes not lying to you OP.? Hes not going to admit he went back to another woman's house a couple of weeks before he marries you.
With respect your friend doesnt have a clue if hes cheated either. Shes likely saying what you want to hear given your wedding is so close.
Only he (and any woman he was with) knows the truth at this stage.
As pp said he cant say he went back to the mutual friends house. Its too risky.
At least check his maps on his phone or Life 360 if he has it.
You should call the mutual friend and find out if your partner was the one that left the mutual friend, not the other way around.
You can also ask him which church it was then go and check it out. Does it have a covered area that can be accessed at night? The vicar/priest will be there tomorrow with it being Sunday. Im sure he/she will give you the information you.need.
I think your making a big mistake if let this go based on what hes told you and the opinion of your friend. This cant be ignored with your wedding being so close.
Its a total gamechanger in terms of setting boundaries. In effect you are giving him.the green light to do this again and he will.