Would you be annoyed by this or am I being unreasonable?

[Nmiddleofnowhere]

DH has bought something for the house without mentioning it to me and I am honestly a bit annoyed.

It was about £40 so its not like he's gone mad or anything but its something we absolutely did not need and I would have rather the money went towards other things tbh.

I only found out because the parcel turned up and when I asked what it was he said he'd ordered it a couple of days ago. I said I wish he'd mentioned it first and he said why, its hardly a big purchase and he doesn't ask me before buying things for himself.

I do see that point but I don't really think its the same when its something for the house? Especially when we've got other things coming up that we need to pay for.

I am not saying he needs to ask permission every time he spends money btw. If he wants to buy himself something with his own money then obviously thats different. But if its coming out of our joint account for something that is basically unnecessary then surely its reasonable to discuss it first?

He thinks I'm being controlling and making an issue out of nothing.

AIBU?

He does do laundry, probably about 50/50 tbh, so its not that he's bought it "for me" or anything.

And yes I do see the point about space because that is partly what annoyed me. We already have the normal airer and the tumble dryer so now we've got another thing that needs somewhere to go. Our utility room is not exactly massive 😂

We're not struggling for money, no, I just don't think thats really the point. If we were buying something we actually needed then fair enough, but I just think £40 here and £40 there does add up.

For anyone asking, its from Dunelm. He said it was a bargain and thats basically his entire argument 😂

I know I’d be delighted if my dh had the initiative to buy something as useful as this , honestly

I'd personally be delighted if my husband spent £40 on a household appliance. I feel it's always me remembering we need new cutlery, bedding, towels etc so I'd be thrilled if he actually bought something for once!

Sounds like it could be quite useful and save you money in the long term. One of my friends bought one and keeps going on about how good it is.

Surely the heated aired can just take the place of the normal airer? Or is it a completely different style?

The amount of crap my husband and I buy without checking in with each other… I couldn’t get worked up over £40. Unless you are struggling massively, it’s such a non event? I spent £80 on plants today, didn’t think to check!?

It would annoy me if we had nowhere to store it.

YABU and very controlling OP. Your DH obviously wants it and sees a need for it, why does your objection overall his want? I can't imagine living under such scrutiny where every transaction has to be discussed.

Its basically a different style, the heated one is more like a tower thing rather than the normal fold out airer.

Tbf I can see why he'd want it because apparently they dry things quicker and use less than the tumble dryer, but I still think we could have discussed it first 😂

I suppose the normal airer could go if we actually use the heated one all the time, which he says we will. I just don't like buying something before deciding what we're doing with the old one.

This. I haven’t got the time to consult on every household purchase. I often just spot things when I’m out and about, as does my husband.

So the heated airer takes up less space and will be quicker and you're still complaining?!

Exactly. How does anyone ever decorate a house if they’re consulting on every minor purchase? Bizarre.

Yes, you are BU.

My first instinct is YABU but that's based on how my own household operates.

I suppose it does somewhat depend on what you have both already discussed and agreed about how the joint account is used, and who contributes the majority, and how the budgeting is done.

But unless there's a drip feed to come there, YABU, especially if you use the joint account yourself without running everything by him.

YABU

I order most household items we need and if I had to discuss each one with my DH first it would drive both of us nuts!

YABU

You're being OTT!

I hope you've apologised to your husband for being controlling and making an issue put of nothing.

Does he not work?

Why would it need a discussion?

This is why I could never get married because no way would I discuss something before buying something with my own money.

This thread is a lot of hot airer about nothing.

Hmm. As I would spend that on house stuff without any expectations of shit from my partner, I wouldn’t do it to him either. And it’s £40, so I doubly wouldn’t.

I kind of agree with him OP. I have a washer dryer and a disability so hanging washing isn’t really an option. The dryer was costing me a fortune so I invested in one of these heated airers about four months ago and put it in the back bedroom where I do my ironing. My most recent energy bill has reflected a significant saving, so maybe give it a go. I can see your point of view about not discussing it first, but maybe he was focused on the savings.

It's a £40 clothes airer.

Stop being dramatic and childish

This would annoy me just because I much prefer a tumble-drier as I don't want damp clothes hanging around my house, but if I had a utility room to shove it in and it genuinely does things quickly, and he's going to hang them up, use it and put them away, that would be fine but that's a lot of things that might not happen which is why I would be annoyed.

I would expect him to say, 'I'm getting one of these dryer things, what do you think?' because that's everyday conversation; he clearly knew you wouldn't like it!

Not a major marital crime though.

I wouldn't bat an eyelid.
However in your shoes if it's such a big deal keep your joint account to household bills only and then have your own money