Would you be annoyed by this or am I being unreasonable?

[Nmiddleofnowhere]

DH has bought something for the house without mentioning it to me and I am honestly a bit annoyed.

It was about £40 so its not like he's gone mad or anything but its something we absolutely did not need and I would have rather the money went towards other things tbh.

I only found out because the parcel turned up and when I asked what it was he said he'd ordered it a couple of days ago. I said I wish he'd mentioned it first and he said why, its hardly a big purchase and he doesn't ask me before buying things for himself.

I do see that point but I don't really think its the same when its something for the house? Especially when we've got other things coming up that we need to pay for.

I am not saying he needs to ask permission every time he spends money btw. If he wants to buy himself something with his own money then obviously thats different. But if its coming out of our joint account for something that is basically unnecessary then surely its reasonable to discuss it first?

He thinks I'm being controlling and making an issue out of nothing.

AIBU?

I think purchases for the house should generally be discussed first. It's not just the money side, it's the fact that if one person keeps buying stuff you can end up with a cluttered house because you don't have enough space to store all the stuff. Or if it's something that you typically just have one of in a house, you might end up feeling irritated that the one you've got is not ideal, but it feels wasteful to bin it and buy a new one.

Is he going to be using the heated drier or is he expecting you to be the one using it?

From what he has bought - YABU. He hasn't bought something for himself

I don’t ever check these sort of purchases with Dh. If it was like £500, yes. If I want a clothes airer, I’d buy a clothes airer.

Man buys something 'for the house' without his wife's input...

About sums up the issue here

😂😅

I'd be annoyed too. It sounds like £40 is a big deal for you so it should have been discussed. It's a big object so needs to go somewhere which might compromise space. And it will cost to run, which, if £40 is a big deal, I assume might also be a big deal.

And, unless DH does at least 50% of the laundry, he's bought you a household appliance that you don't want and will now feel obliged to use.

Sounds great! I've seen people raving about them on here before. Do you have a link to it, OP please?

Sounds a sensible and thoughtful thing to buy, I thought you meant something frivolous.

You’re being unreasonable and I’d like the link to where you can get a heated airer for £40 please! 😄

oh I need the laugh emoji

Sorry, you've spelt "permission" wrong.

Its not even the thing itself really, its more that he just ordered it without mentioning it.

It's 40 quid and presumably (for) his house, too? You sound controlling. He's not your child; he shouldn't have to ask permission.

Yabu! I also bought one without asking DH last year and it's superb!

Would you have asked permission in reverse?

£40? It wouldn't to me. At all.

Yeah, I realised that after I posted! 😆

You are being unreasonable

These are great, it's his house too presumably so I think you are being unreasonable and controlling. If you bought it and he reacted this way how could you feel? What if your friend told you her partner reacted like that to her buying something for her house? Get a cover for the dryer to use make it work better.

I think 100% get a heated clothed airer they are the best

I would definitely expect that to be discussed before he bought it. It’s not the money at all, it’s the amount of space it takes, where it would be stored and how useful it would be.

You need to spend €40 on a good grip OP!
YABU

Says someone with no money worries!

£40 is not nothing to some people. What an insensitive comment.

You sound pretty controlling. If you have never bought a household item without getting your husband’s approval first I’d be surprised.

My ex used to sulk when I bought something for the house that he wouldn’t have chosen yet he thought it was fine to go out and drop hundreds on gardening gear or kitchen gadgets because they were “necessary”.

Unless money is very tight then YABU . These are great