Would you be annoyed by this or am I being unreasonable?

[Nmiddleofnowhere]

DH has bought something for the house without mentioning it to me and I am honestly a bit annoyed.

It was about £40 so its not like he's gone mad or anything but its something we absolutely did not need and I would have rather the money went towards other things tbh.

I only found out because the parcel turned up and when I asked what it was he said he'd ordered it a couple of days ago. I said I wish he'd mentioned it first and he said why, its hardly a big purchase and he doesn't ask me before buying things for himself.

I do see that point but I don't really think its the same when its something for the house? Especially when we've got other things coming up that we need to pay for.

I am not saying he needs to ask permission every time he spends money btw. If he wants to buy himself something with his own money then obviously thats different. But if its coming out of our joint account for something that is basically unnecessary then surely its reasonable to discuss it first?

He thinks I'm being controlling and making an issue out of nothing.

AIBU?

My DH has hoarding tendencies so I would have no issue with this once he threw out the other one. I can't believe this would merit a consultation.

Mine is of the best things I own! Saves loads of time ironing because you can hang things flat and dry them nicely instead of them getting all screwed up in the tumble dryer. £40 is a lot cheaper than mine was!

Uabvu
He does half the laundry, he can get whatever he wants to do it with.

I once had a heated airer and sent it to the dump. Useless thing.

They aren't necessarily cheaper than running the tumble dryer. Apparently they cost 6 - 7 pence per hour to run and I found it needed to be left on overnight for stuff to be dry, so between 70 and 80 pence.

I can run the tumble dryer for about 2 hours for that and everything will be dry.

I wouldn't be annoyed at him spending £40, but I wouldn't want a heated airer. Still, if he plans to use it himself I'd let it slide, until he finds out that they really aren't that cheap to run.

I couldn’t imagine my husband kicking up if I spent £40 of joint money on a house purchase. This is absolutely mental.

Take a chill pill OP

I totally agree 🙄 just tell us what it is ffor goodness sake!

My partner and I would both be annoyed if either of us spent ~£30+ on something for the house

I would honestly be exhausted living like this.

I wouldn’t mind about a £40 spend on the house without consultation and nor would my husband.
I have a heated airer & love it btw, lives in the utility room next to my tumble drier. Mine cost a load more, so I think he did get a bargain 👍

It's not often that I think that the men can do nothing right, but in this situation, where he's independently bought something practical for the house, I do think YABVU.

Heated airers are brilliant. It was only £40. If he'd spent £40 on himself you wouldn't mind.

Therefore YABU

yabu

I'm with @LorenaWood and @Takingtigermountainbystrategy , £40 is a bargain, it's practical, useful, not gonna be seen (not like he bought a living room rug) , but tell him if he's not bought a cover for it you'll need to use a big bed sheet to make sure it works best. These drivers are really efficient so I'd be glad my OH got something practical!! You need to calm tf down.

He sounds like a legend

I spent £40 on my favourite fabric softener - DH didn't care. We'll both use it.

If I had this level of control within a relationship I’d really question the value of being in a relationship.

You say it’s because there wasn’t a conversation about what happens about the old one first - really? You can’t be flexible enough to say ‘Ooh lovely, let’s throw out the old one’ or ‘ooh great, we can keep both?’

I’m always very happy if my husband has proactively bought something to improve our home life.

I came on here to say YABU.

Then I read that it's a heater airer and realised I'd feel the same. I have an irrational dislike of them!

A toaster would've been worse tho

If the OP can afford to run a tumble drier, she has no problem spending £40 on this.

You care about £40 🙄

you are very controlling. I have no idea, nor care what DH spends out of our account.

YABVVVVVU.

I’d be elated that buying something to help dry the washing even crossed his mind.
Mine thinks it all gets done by a magical invisible fairy.

This wouldn't bother me at all. My husband and I often make small purchases without telling each other. The only way I can see this being an issue is if you were really struggling for money and that £40 would have been spent on essentials which you now can't afford. But it doesn't sound like that's the case so I'm not really sure what the problem is.

YABU. I bought a sofa once without "consulting" my DH. We already have 2, but I wanted one for the kitchen diner. So I bought it.

Anyone else just ordered one?

We don't really don't buy much though as we have a buy once policy so try to buy things that are designed to last, we don't replace things until they are broken or no longer fit for purpose.
My mum is an impulse shopper and nearly all of it ends up in landfill within 6 months broken or given away to clutter up someone else's house.
As a planet we can't sustain the current levels of consumerism but the economy is set up around companies tempting people into buying things they don't need to solve problems they don't have.